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soooo my girlfriend of a couple years went away on a mission trip to help an orphanage with one of her friends. She went to benin which is right on the western edge of Africa...anyways before the trip we were talking about marriage and our future kids.. Then she came back, and I expected a running leap into my arms. The thing is I barely got a hug and she wasn't excited to see me at all. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she didn't want to leave and she couldve done so much more for those kids. So I understood and figured she would get over it. Well a week went by and she still wouldnt hold my hand. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she didn't know and wished that whatever it was would just go away. I asked her what I could do and she told me she needed space. So we are officially on a break until she feels better. I guess what I want to know is what's wrong with her. I would wait until time ended for this girl so thats not an issue. I'm just wondering how long will she feel this way and will it get better?
She is the only one to answer your questions, but whatever it is, give her what she asked for, and leave her alone to deal with her issues, without pressure or influence by you, and no buts.
like Talaniman said, your key will to give her what she asked for. She wants space do it.
I don't know if you have ever been to africa but another thing you may consider to better understand why. Things over there are nothing like the states. Disease, bad conditions, and the list goes on and on. That can have a profound impact on someone who has never been exposed to anything beyond a T.V. news clip. It can make things that we think are important before we go seem very insignificant in the bigger picture.
From my own personal experience with overseas work, your girlfriend obviously has been positively affected by her humanitarian work in Benin. When a person lives and works with people less fortunate then themselves - especially with children in an orphanage overseas - they find themselves strongly drawn to help, to do what they can to alleviate some of the hopelessness that surrounds the situation.
This girl obviously has a huge heart. She has seen what awful conditions these children live with on a daily basis, has seen how she brought a smile to the face of kids who don't have reason to smile much, and desperately misses the effect that she was having upon the people of Benin.
I honestly don't think she is rejecting YOU, she is rejecting the normalcy of her life before she went overseas. She has seen severe poverty and now she's back in a place where she has her pick of hundreds of salad dressings and chips...
She isn't the same person that she was when she left. She's come through a serious reality check and is on the other side. You obviously love her and will wait for her. She will forever be changed by her time over there, but soon she'll start to realize that she can have an influence here, just as much as she had over there.
Be there for her. Understand that she's had a huge upset of her world. Realize that she's struggling with a lot of emotions. Give her the space she needs to adjust to this new reality and be her friend.
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