My husband and i bought a flat 1 yr ago. It was quite run down and needed lots of work. It was my husbands dream to buy a run down place and do it all up himself.

6 months ago the plaster came did plastered the walls but my husband thought he did a sh*t job. We couldnt complain thou as a friend did it for us. FREE

My husband told me didnt like it i also didnt think the walls were that great, and he wants to re do everythin himself i.e - sandin down of walls again - plastering and paintin. Deciding to do room by room we started from our bedroom. It has been 3 months now and we are still living in d spare bedroom. He works on wkends only and sometimes we go out at d wkend and lose a wkend. Im gettin tired of livin in dust. He always says he will do some more work wkdays after work but sometimes he comes home late and tired so i dont hassle him, and others he just decides to work on his plants and leaves the bedroom.

Now he wants to do all the house and we have another bedroom bathroom hallway and livin and kithen!! I cant bare living like this anymore and if i try tell him - we just paint and forget sanding and plastering he get all up tight with me and says - IT HAS TO BE DONE, it wont take me long!!
(3 months to do 1 bedroom - i mean isnt that long?)

What should i do?

ChihuahuaMomma

Suggest that he get professional help (not like that :P). He can still do most of the work himself and feel that this was his creation, but hire some professionals to help out. Hire them two or three days during the week. Let him do his thing on the weekend.

sadface

i suggested that he doesnt want to

talaniman

Nothing like a project by amateurs, to cause grief and tensions, anger and resentments. The solution is to compromise, so set a date for completion and if its not met, no excuses get some help. The key is a reasonable date to work with.
Second choice is to move out and tell him to call you when he is finished. Either choice, calls for you to be proactive, and not just go along with the program.

sadface

what do u mean exactly by that?

I wouldnt wanna move out and leave him alone - i think it may cause friction!

I cleaned all day today.. He was asleep, he said he isnt feeling well.. fair enough if he is but i want to finish it! fedup of livin in a mess.
But sometimes we both like to go out on wkends after a hefty week at work.
Oh i dont no

bigbird213

What if you start doing some of the work too, whether he likes it or not??

Maybe it'll get him a gear a little bit?

sadface

were i can help - i do, but some is quite heavy duty - i cant manage alone!
Maybe he really isnt well today!
Next wkend we going away!
never ending

talaniman

The longer you standby and let this go, the longer you will be breathing dust.
So everything is hunky-Dorry?? There is already friction. At least the friction you bring from moving may cause something to be done, and that is well worth the friction.
Which is it, fear of hurting his feelings, or breathing dust in the half finished mess your in.
That will really get things done. You don't know what to do, he does, but doesn't do it. What a mess you two have to resolve, so stop tip-toeing around it, and express your displeasure. This situation calls for some friction from you.
My wife would have cussed me out for being a procrastinator, and had it done by the time I got home from work, and dared me to look crazy.
Get it done, and take him somewhere nice to stroke his hurt ego! At least ask him how long you have to breath dust? Come on, you have to do something beside twiddle your thumbs, and go along with this nonsense.

ChihuahuaMomma

Superb advice Talaninman!!!!!!

Fr_Chuck

while is he gone move into the rest of the home, leave one room for him to do, tell him he can do one room at at ime, when he finished that one, he can move things arouind for the next room.

And sleeping on the floor or the couch for a few nights till he gets more excieted about doing it will get things going.