Attraction isn't a choice - you don't just turn it off. I think the key is that when you are in a relationship and committed to each other, attraction to others doesn't matter. Both will still feel it, but not act on it.
original post from Blueiman (if youre in a relationship. and you feel attracted to other people. i believe youre not ready to be in that relationship. you need to be honest with yourself and your partner. this is not easy to do. but, the bottom line is you need to be alone and keep meeting people whom youre interested in and find out if its what you want. most people just lie to themselves and their partner and continue with the relationship and eventually it doesnt work out. its easier to stay in a relationship because most people do not want to be alone. so we settle for the one we are with. your in denial.)
I totally Agree, i think that guys marry a less attractive girl because they are cool and they get along, and they are rather do that instead of marrying a hot girl that will cheat or not be loyal. guys are very insecure.
girls are the same they marry a guy that may not be the hottest but they treat them right,
better to have that than a hot guy that have many women.
so people just say is ok to find people attractive, but it isnt, truth is i belive no matter what everyone is saying here. don't tell me that you dont mind the fact that they look at other people because deep down you do.
have fun in life first date a lot .. when you are ready to marry then do it.. i am telling you. once you had all the fun, and dated a lot you DO NOT find any other person attractive
other than your partner.. ..
So you are telling me that you don't think any movie stars are attractive at all? I find that hard to believe. To find others attractive is a human trait, we naturally look at other members of the opposite sex.
I could care less who my girlfriend looks at because I know who she comes home to. To immediately says men are insecure is a judgemental statement, women and men are both highly likely to be insecure.
once you had all the fun, and dated a lot you DO NOT find any other person attractive
other than your partner.. ..
I had many g/f's before my marriage of more than 30 years, but I still am attracted to others, but I don't act on them, as its the same with my wife, who loves athletic healthy types, she enjoys the feeling but doesn't act on those feelings.
You can't control having feelings for others, but you can control what you do about them.
Ok, this is mainly for the girls but I would like to hear some of the mens opinions, as well.
A recent agrument I had with my girlfriend came about when I had mentioned that someone else was attractive. No, I wasnt saying she was hot and that I was into her or anything... it just came up in conversation and I said that she was an attractive girl.
My thoughts are that this: We are adults. I love her and she loves me. I feel that I can admit that there are other women on this planet... or more specifically, in our town, that are attractive. Big deal.. Im not going to pursue them because I love the woman I am with.
She says that she finds no other man in this town attractive. I brought up a few names of some of the men that we know that are attractive looking men (yes, I am secure with myself and I can also admit when another man is attractive lol) anyway, she insisted that she doesnt find any of them attractive.
I then asked her about a few of the men that I know that she was with before us. She said that she used to find them attractive but not anymore, as if she can just turn it off.
She then, of course, proceeds to get pissed (mad) at me because there are women that I find attractive.
To the women out there: When you love someone, do you suddenly, somehow, turn off other mens attractiveness so that you no longer find anyother man attractive??
To the men: Do you still find other women attractive once you are in love?
Forgive me if you shared this and I missed it in your text somewhere but..do you compliment your girlfriend..often? at least often enough to make her feel secure? I know that my boyfriend is not blind and will observe other women. If I see a beautiful woman, I will even point it out to him only because it is what it is. I don't know if the right word you are using should be "attractive", perhaps a word like "striking" or "pretty" might work better? I do not find other men attractive but.,.I will say "he's hot" . To me that simply means he is nice looking, nice body ..not anything more...i dont want to be with him. I love my boyfriend way too much to be attracted to another man! (Boy, did I just talk myself into a circle? LOL).
In any case Dr., I dont think that when you comment that a woman is attractive, that it should be taken out of context. Just make sure you are letting your woman know..that she is HOT!
Its okay to find another person attractive even if your involved with someone its human nature. Only when you take it to the next level. When you do it don't lessen your love for the person you see. Me and my boyfriend is open about it and tell eachother who we like and comments of some peoples, especially people on t.v. He loves Rhinna, I love Mark Wilburg.
Ok, this is mainly for the girls but I would like to hear some of the mens opinions, as well.
A recent agrument I had with my girlfriend came about when I had mentioned that someone else was attractive. No, I wasnt saying she was hot and that I was into her or anything... it just came up in conversation and I said that she was an attractive girl.
My thoughts are that this: We are adults. I love her and she loves me. I feel that I can admit that there are other women on this planet... or more specifically, in our town, that are attractive. Big deal.. Im not going to pursue them because I love the woman I am with.
She says that she finds no other man in this town attractive. I brought up a few names of some of the men that we know that are attractive looking men (yes, I am secure with myself and I can also admit when another man is attractive lol) anyway, she insisted that she doesnt find any of them attractive.
I then asked her about a few of the men that I know that she was with before us. She said that she used to find them attractive but not anymore, as if she can just turn it off.
She then, of course, proceeds to get pissed (mad) at me because there are women that I find attractive.
To the women out there: When you love someone, do you suddenly, somehow, turn off other mens attractiveness so that you no longer find anyother man attractive??
To the men: Do you still find other women attractive once you are in love?
It's not that I don't find other guys attractive, but it's never in a sexual way. I've had a fight today about this exact thing with my boyfriend of four years. I think that you can find others attractive, but they shouldnt ever come to the same amount of attractivness as your current boyfriend or girlfriend. I'm strange in the way that I never look. The only man I think is attractive other then my current boyfriend is Gerard Butler lol.
And the only thing attractive about him is his eyes.
My boyfriend said I should be ok with the fact that theres better looking girls out there ( I know this ) But I wanted to be the best in his eyes. I Dont care if he finds girls attractive ... I just wanted to be the best looking to him.
So I think some girls can turn on shutters and stop findin others good looking ...
But it should be the point that you should know that they love you, everything about you and wont leave you.
But it still stings having them think youre not as good looking as someone else
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