finaly told ex its over

hair2007 · #1 Mar 27, 2007, 04:38 PM

hi everyone, thanx for all the advice on my other posts, well it has been a few weeks, and i'm just writting to vent a little. Told my ex husband yesterday, that i willl not be a part of this anymore. ( just a refresher about other posts i left)
he always comes back crying and saying he needs me, yet hes ok with seeing me 1 time aweek, never wants marriage again, or to live together, so told him im not sure what he wants from me but i cant wait around hoping he will change, and its best we both move on...i cant play the game any more. all the while he has been on 3 dating services in between calling me, but says he didnt go on them while im with him..just crazy...if u knew your ex opened her door to u (again) why would you even sign up on dating services....put your effort in to us...again venting!! lol thank you all again, it helps so much to be able to have this site....any comments are still apreciated....
it is still hard no matter what, because i do love him but realize i am being treated like i dont matter, and when u realize this your insecurity level is very low, only because i had 12 yrs invested in this... had my #s changes today too, somthing i never did yet...its a start???? lol...thanx again all..

SAB123 · Apr 9, 2007, 08:58 AM

Once you convince yourself it's over then you will begin become secure with yourself. It's been 12 weeks since break up and I'm becoming more secure and confindent with myself and once you let go trust me it will get easier just because of how many break ups you have gone thru and I know the feeling.I still have some bad days but they are fating away and yours will to . I know she used me and took me for a long ride With me I never let myself heal all the other breakups. Because I didn't want too, I wanted her and that was it. But trust me once you start letting go you will see him for the person he is. This may be helpful make 2 list side by side one list is for all the bad things he did and the other all the good things. compare them most likely their are going to be more bad then good. It help me. I only came up with about 6 good things and about 20 bad. I know i;m better off.

hair2007 · Apr 9, 2007, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAB123

Once you convince yourself it's over then you will begin become secure with yourself. It's been 12 weeks since break up and I'm becoming more secure and confindent with myself and once you let go trust me it will get easier just because of how many break ups you have gone thru and I know the feeling.I still have some bad days but they are fating away and yours will to . I know she used me and took me for a long ride With me I never let myself heal all the other breakups. Because I didn't want too, I wanted her and that was it. But trust me once you start letting go you will see him for the person he is. This may be helpful make 2 list side by side one list is for all the bad things he did and the other all the good things. compare them most likely their are going to be more bad then good. It help me. I only came up with about 6 good things and about 20 bad. I know i;m better off.

hey, ya i never let my self heal either, so people think i should be over it but you know what i mean..always going back and fourth, craziness....i have made the lists before, thank-u but i should do it agian just to move along...havent done it in a while.
every time i convince myself and my life is going along, he show up with all his bullsh--! obviously i need to be more along if it happens again lol...i think i will be, i feel it anyway. what about yourself, do you always believe what they say, is that how you end up back together?

SAB123 · Apr 10, 2007, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hair2007

hey, ya i never let my self heal either, so people think i should be over it but you know what i mean..always going back and fourth, craziness....i have made the lists before, thank-u but i should do it agian just to move along...havent done it in a while.
every time i convince myself and my life is going along, he show up with all his bullsh--! obviously i need to be more along if it happens again lol...i think i will be, i feel it anyway. what about yourself, do you always believe what they say, is that how you end up back together?

As far as my friends I belive what they say now and what everybody says on this site about her. But if you are refering to my ex, when she did come back she will say her and her son miss me, and miserable without me. Then she will say this is what I want (refering to change) "If you don't like what I have to say then leave me the F**k alone" (Exact Word too) And in a mean way while she telling me then my stupid a** says ok then shes nice to me again. I know I sound like a wuss but when you love 2 people and don't want to loose them you just agree thinking you can change her. And you can't change selfish people they are the way they are.

hair2007 · Apr 10, 2007, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAB123

As far as my friends I belive what they say now and what everybody says on this site about her. But if you are refering to my ex, when she did come back she will say her and her son miss me, and miserable without me. Then she will say this is what I want (refering to change) "If you don't like what I have to say then leave me the F**k alone" (Exact Word too) And in a mean way while she telling me then my stupid a** says ok then shes nice to me again. I know I sound like a wuss but when you love 2 people and don't want to loose them you just agree thinking you can change her. And you can't change selfish people they are the way they are.

you can say that again....ive been "trying" for 10 yrs!!!but like u said, u dont realize that way because you feel love for that person, so you dont think the way they do i guess, (selfish)

You dont sound like a wuss...lol... you sound like someone who loves someone. it just sucs that we give our love to people that are selfish and maybe users?? ill never regret loving my ex, it was the way i felt, hopefullly he will be the one to regret things and of not i can only wish him the best... believe me, i have days that are still bad, but when i think of the way he loves me it just isnt right...im sure u feel the same..

SAB123 · Apr 11, 2007, 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hair2007

you can say that again....ive been "trying" for 10 yrs!!!but like u said, u dont realize that way because you feel love for that person, so you dont think the way they do i guess, (selfish)

You dont sound like a wuss...lol... you sound like someone who loves someone. it just sucs that we give our love to people that are selfish and maybe users?? ill never regret loving my ex, it was the way i felt, hopefullly he will be the one to regret things and of not i can only wish him the best... believe me, i have days that are still bad, but when i think of the way he loves me it just isnt right...im sure u feel the same..

Yes I feel the same way I just can't believe she slapped me in my face again. One minute shes telling me she love me and here I am again crushed about her dumping me. And yes I hope I see her in 5 yrs and tells me that. I'm getting better but I still hurt very bad.

SAB123 · Apr 15, 2007, 10:15 AM

Just want to see how you are doing with your situation and say thanks for your input on my thread. You and everyone have been a great help to me. It sounds like your situation is a little more complicated. The fact he does come back every 2-3 months is horrible. With my Ex its always been around her birthday in March.But how can you heal when he is always coming back in that time frame. From reading your other threads. I think maybe they keep us on the back burner until they can find someon better then us. I think when they cant they get lonely and realizing they made a mistake and come back. But I think with you and also me when they come back Is tell them NO you had plenty of chances. Then we will be able really begin to heal ourselves. And the door will be closed for them to come back.

hair2007 · Apr 15, 2007, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAB123

Just want to see how you are doing with your situation and say thanks for your input on my thread. You and everyone have been a great help to me. It sounds like your situation is a little more complicated. The fact he does come back every 2-3 months is horrible. With my Ex its always been around her birthday in March.But how can you heal when he is always coming back in that time frame. From reading your other threads. I think maybe they keep us on the back burner until they can find someon better then us. I think when they cant they get lonely and realizing they made a mistake and come back. But I think with you and also me when they come back Is tell them NO you had plenty of chances. Then we will be able really begin to heal ourselves. And the door will be closed for them to come back.

hi, thanks for asking about my situation. havent heard from him in about 2 weeks, thats a good thing. maybe i wont again, who knows. but with his track record u never know.
my situation is similar to yourself in only that they keep braking up, coming back, games. and i was married. and yes knowing we r there on that back burner...i think also that if they are lonely that is when they think they made a mistake...
It has been very hard bacause he does come back frequently, but each time i guess it gets easier for me and i look at him and us so different. even when im with him sometimes its me who says this is it, no more, because of the way he acts once he knows im there again. as im sure u read in my posts. last on the list, doesnt want to live together, but when he doesnt have me in his life he doent like that either. his version of a relationship with me is very different from a few years ago, hes unstable with his feelings. maybe with just me but i think its no matter who he is with. anyway sorry to bend yr ear...lol... sore spot...hope yr doing good...

SAB123 · Apr 16, 2007, 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hair2007

hi, thanks for asking about my situation. havent heard from him in about 2 weeks, thats a good thing. maybe i wont again, who knows. but with his track record u never know.
my situation is similar to yourself in only that they keep braking up, coming back, games. and i was married. and yes knowing we r there on that back burner...i think also that if they are lonely that is when they think they made a mistake...
It has been very hard bacause he does come back frequently, but each time i guess it gets easier for me and i look at him and us so different. even when im with him sometimes its me who says this is it, no more, because of the way he acts once he knows im there again. as im sure u read in my posts. last on the list, doesnt want to live together, but when he doesnt have me in his life he doent like that either. his version of a relationship with me is very different from a few years ago, hes unstable with his feelings. maybe with just me but i think its no matter who he is with. anyway sorry to bend yr ear...lol... sore spot...hope yr doing good...

I'm doing Ok I still have up and down but I just hope she doesn't come back again. Then it's like I'm on the spot.because I'm still unhealty and mind is unclear of the hole situation.Know it's a waiting game this time. Before I just hurt every break up and everyone said she'll be back. I told them why would she back she broke up with me, meaning she doesn't want to be with me. I guess It will be totaly over when she does come back and I say ''no its over I dont want you back''.



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