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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   Falling apart!

 
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Old Sep 24, 2009, 08:53 AM
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Falling apart!

Iv been with my partner for 4 years on and off! we split up about a year ago for eight months the longest we have ever split up and then two and a half months ago we got back together, my mum didnt agree to this so i ended up movin in with my nan and him which made my nan fall out with my mum and my self! he says i get moody for no reason and argue two much and he has decided to split up with me, its been a week and he has already been out meetin people because he says he does want to be in a relationship and that hurts so much because he has a chance to be with me!
iv gone out and got my self a job because he was payin my way and i thought to my self maybe if i get a job i wont have so much time on my hands to think and be paranoid or get moody with him, and we can do normal couple things like go out for meals and go on holiday! all his stuff his still here so i met him last night and he is seriouse its over n he wants to move on im gutted cause i dont think 2 n half months dont prove nothing to weather its goin to work or not! im findin it so hard to deal with i cant cope with these feelings! i try thinkin of all the bad stuff but it dont work all i think about is how much i miss cuddlin up 2 him in bed! and how i miss him making me laugh and just havin him around to talk to! its nice to have some1 you have been with for so long because u can just be your self and feel comftable! i cant stop crying or thinkin about what he is doing it is killing me and i find it so much harder then last time! i dont know what to do??

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Old Sep 24, 2009, 09:27 AM   #2  
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http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...ed-123862.html

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...kup-78597.html

Here are some great things to get started. Please let me know what you think.

We have all been where you are and right now you are in the most difficult part, but it will get better.

It is time to start loving yourself.

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talaniman agrees: Exactly right. It really is that simple.
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Old Sep 24, 2009, 09:28 AM   #3  
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I guess you took him for granted, had too much time on your hands and appeared to needy. Two things which are not good to continue a relationship.

So you learned one lesson the hard way and from what you say, he means it, he is through.

tick

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talaniman agrees: So sad but so very true.
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Old Sep 24, 2009, 12:18 PM   #4  
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Quote:
im finding it so hard to deal with i cant cope with these feelings!
Believe it or not, thats what we all feel after a break up, and its a terrible feeling, until we do learn how to cope with those feelings.
Quote:
and just having him around to talk to! its nice to have someone you have been with for so long because you can just be your self and feel comfortable!
Your wrong, as once the emotions are under better control, and you learn to love yourself, you will be very comfortable and happy to be yourself, and love it.
Quote:
i cant stop crying or thinking about what he is doing it is killing me and i find it so much harder then last time! i don't know what to do??
Take Justy's very good advice and read the links she gave you for some good insights and suggestions on how to cope.

Once you give him his stuff and cut him from your life, the healing can begin. Your just in shock now, but it does get better.
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Old Sep 24, 2009, 12:23 PM   #5  
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The others have already provided excellent advice, so I'm just going to add onto what they've already said.

You mentioned that you've been trying to focus on the negative aspects about him. I suggest that you forget him completely. Don't even think about good or bad things. Focus on doing something else. Keep your mind as occupied as possible so that you don't have to think about him.
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Old Sep 24, 2009, 12:42 PM   #6  
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I also want to add that you did the right thing by getting a job. Start supporting yourself and living for you. Everything will fall into place and in the meantime you can always talk to us.

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talaniman agrees: Yes she can and the job is a step in the right direction.
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Old Sep 24, 2009, 02:11 PM   #7  
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Relationships are always hard to get over especially after 4 years, it's a long time, sadley we've all been there.

Lots of good advice has been given here to help and support you,should you need to post again someone will always be hear to help.

I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but you will come through this, you might even be able to look back at all the great times you had together, even eventually staying friends,i know some do and remain so for many years.

Welldone on getting your job,there will be lots of new people there, so keep yourself busy, try not to dwell on things,look forward and not back, there will be someone else for you in the future,i know that will be the last thing on your mind right now,but time is a great healer, eventually you will start to feel better.

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talaniman agrees: Good advice.
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