My ex and I still live together with our kids.

Originally Posted by Petz888

We've been broken up for a few weeks but decided to live in the same place due to having me being a stay at home father. I wanted to move out, but after thinking it over this would be the best our two boys. I also take care of their little cousin during the weekdays as well. The boys are still young 3 and 5 years old. It was kind of a mutual break up but I would have to say it was more of that she wanted this. She is already dating and it is really taking a toll on me. We've talked about it on many occasions and want to try to remain friends. She say's she wants us to show the boys that we can still be a family without us having to part ways. I want to be friends with her, I'm really, really trying. It just hurts so much when I see her leaving to go out and all that stuff. She says if I was the same person as I was when we were first together none of this would be happening. I'll admit I do still love her and she says the same about me, which I can't see it just by her actions. I mean I can't sit around and let wait forever so I've started to talk to people as well. She talks so differently to me now. For example, she calls me to ask if I took the keys by mistake which I did and I said I would turn around and drop it off and that turned out to be an argument, over "Keys" Really?..I am so lost right now. One minute we talk as like we're good friends the next she gets so snappy. I don't understand her at all. If she says she wants me to be happy and find the person for me why all the animosity? I do not give her attitude about anything she does, and if I feel like I will, I get up and leave. What should I do? Give up hope? Keep trying? any suggestions would be appreciated, I really don't know how to handle this. Advice Please.....Thank you.

Originally Posted by joypulv

I'm going to take a totally practical approach: you stay home, so does that mean she works and brings home the bacon? Is the house clean, the shopping done, dinner on the table, the kids clean and the laundry done? Or does she do half of that too, and you, like many men, are oblivious to all that needs to be done. I'm not accusing! Just asking. And what about work when the kids are older? Are you in school, or doing computer consulting, or what, to prepare for your financial future.
Money is the # 1 problem couples report in surveys.

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Yes, who works, who does what duties, and most likely she was "dating" before the break up.
so how do you explain mommie has too husbands, or it is ok for mommy and daddy to still be married and mommy can have a boyfriend.

Kids know more what is happening, and breaking up and moving out is not always the wrong thing

Originally Posted by Mariansc1234

Get you head out of the clouds, and stop listening to her. She is no longer in love with you, she may love you, but she is not in love with you. From a woman's view of this, she's using you, probably as a babysitter, even though your the father and probably financially.

No one who is in love with another person, and says, "they want it to work," would be doing what she is doing. Her animosity is coming from, your just being around her, her actions toward you are all acting, when it comes to her wanting to be involved with you romantically again. I think it is time to move on.

I could be wrong, but I'm sure I'm not. I'd need more information to come to a clear conclusion. You ever heard that phrase, "He's just not into you?" Well, in your case, "She is just not into you anymore.? A person who is love with someone, doesn't have a desire, or would go out and date others.

She's playing you.

Originally Posted by Petz888

You know what that's what actually is going on in my head. But is it worth changing the kid's lifestyle on account of my feelings about the situation. I grown and I should be able to handle this and not making it harder on the kids. I have a place to go if I do decide to leave but as of now I don't think that would be the right thing to do. Thank you for your reply and I will see how things go...

Originally Posted by Mariansc1234

As long as it is, not wearing you down mentally, to were it affects you and your children, family friends relationships, then stay...I guess. Being financially strapped is hard on anyone, especially, when they need or want to start over. Your going to have to accept the fact, that your ex is moving on, in her own little way.

Originally Posted by Petz888

Yes ty so much for your reply...I guess that's what I needed to hear. I don't or will not let this get in the way of my relationship with my children. Time to move on. I'll take baby steps to reach my goal of letting go. Again I want to thank you. Talking about this really helps.