For some reason yet unknown to me, I don't hate him, I could have walked away the minute he told me he was married. Dating a married man was never a thought or idea that ever came to me, yet it happened. I love this man, I don't foresee him leaving his wife and I don't think they're unhappy, just that there is no sex in their marriage. He's very attractive, very in with the times and he makes me happy.
I don't see myself breaking up the relationship as I am truly in love with him. We've done two trips together out of our state and it's been a dream come true.
I love him, he says he loves me and will not leave her. I don't know if down the road it'll be too painful for me, we've been together 7 months and see each other about 3 times a week.

N0help4u

He lied by not telling you he is married so what makes you think it would stop him from lying that there is no sex in their marriage? Short of you seeing there is no sex in their marriage or the wife telling you there is no sex in the marriage you can only take a proven liars word for there being no sex in the marriage.
why do you WANT to be in a relationship that there is NO future in and it can only lead to the pain you do not want?
Walk away and find somebody that you can be happier with cause they don't have any strings attached.

youcantstop48

Sweetheart you need to loose your feelings for this guy, all he is doing is using you for sex cause he can get everything else he needs at home, so he will one day forget about you and move on to another one, plus he lied to you about the whole marriage deal so that should be enough for you there!!!

JBeaucaire

You can't control your feelings. I'll grant you that. You love whom you love, sad truth.

You CAN control your body. That's completely governed by your mind. Getting naked and doing the "bumps" with someone takes a LOT of mental effort. It's not your heart then, it's all YOU. So you're not a victim of your heart in this, ok?

You have decided that sex alone is fine. Ok, so what now? So you talk, and he tells you things, and you believe them...heaven knows why? Oh yeah, I know why, believing what he says makes it ok that you've given away your future family for the backseat jungledance with this guy.

What an AWESOME life that will be. No kids, no commitments, no Christmas's with the huge extended family...what a relief. And think of all the alone time you get without having to beg for it while he's off spending quality time on holidays with his real family.

Great, love it. This is how you choose to spend the next 40 years, can't wait to see the photo albums.

Sarcasm aside (Hard for me, I know), I guess I'm hoping your spirit somewhere down in there actually has some pride and some life expectations...and maybe will poke its head up sometime and try to get you back onto a path that builds character and a family of your own. No loving person can actually be OK with being the "other woman" indefinitely. They just can't.

Let your loving person back out, they can do a better job getting you away from this guy than we can.

talaniman

Poor thing, he deliberately hooked you,before you knew the truth,cause that's what seaoned cheaters do, so if your okay being a sideshow for a married guy, who am I to tell you different. You would rather believe his lies,and keep traveling, and do the wild thang any way. That may be your idea of love, but not mine. The word stupid comes to mind.

ldyastrid

I didn't see a question here... just statements about what's happening ... if it's advice you are seeking, I think you already know the answer. He's told you he's married and will not leave his wife for you - so what is your question?

So ... are you willing to spend your life alone?
If the answer is yes than stay with this loser.

Is it in your heart that you'd someday like to be married and maybe have children?
If the answer is yes - you aren't going to find what you are looking for in the situation you're in and it's time to move on (it was time when he told you he was married)

Now ... MY question is - if he's cheating on his wife with you ... how could you possibly think that even if he would leave his wife for you that he'd be faithful to you?

Pain is inevitable down this path you are walking.

Sundayafternoon

I thank you for your input. I guess I don't even understand myself, I have to say again that I never thought to be in my shoes today, I am a happy go lucky type of person. I have looked at past relationships with men I've dated and the qualities my MM has I have not found before, as ironic as it sounds.
I am in a rollercoaster about this relationship many times, it is what it is and I know this, I even told my mother which is not something I'd share with her. I guess I am living the moment, my friends tell me we'll be here when you cry too.
I've broken up with him a few times, but it doesnt last more than 24 hours. Aside from all the negativity of our relationship, we're great together, we have fun in our times.
Don't know if this helps me if I mention this: I've paid for my trips when I've flown with him and I take care of my bills, there is no support financially from his end to me and I don't pretend it neither.
Do you guys get me?

talaniman

I get you. Your a prime piece with money, and you go for his lies, and have great fun. Sure I get it. The real question is Do you get it? Obviously not. Much Luck.

starbuck8

He's having his cake and eating it too, as the saying goes! Do you honestly think that even if you DID win him over that he wouldn't turn around and cheat on you too?? (or maybe he already is) Gimme a break! How dare you be a party to his breaking his marriage vows! I suppose he has children too! Do you think you could look into their innocent eyes and say, well your daddy and I were having so much fun and it made ME feel good!

You already KNOW that he's a liar and a cheater, and quite obviously has no morals. Sign me up! What a wonderful resume that is!

It's just my opinion, but nothing I said wasn't the absolute truth and you know it!

Sundayafternoon

I guess if I try to explain myself further, I mess things up more.
I do take your input, I wish there was some empathy, I'm as mortified as those opposing the relationship.
It's been two days now since I'm keeping my distance from him, he's called and I have not answered, he texted me. I have spoken to him briefly and reply to one text.
I feel that if I break up things on my terms, then it'll be easier.
I feel bad though for acting this way and no letting him know what's up, although you'll say he does not feel bad that he sees me and we don't have a future together.
I will keep writing here as a vent.
Thanks all.