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My ex hints at getting back together but hasn't said it directly
Everytime we meet up we flirt like crazy and she tells me how she still likes me more than any guy. For some reason though she hasn't asked me to get back together. It's been over 5 months now since the breakup. She's gone out with other guys but they never worked out. Like a few days ago, I went over her house. She was talking about marriage and how many kids she wants to have one day. She started asking me how many I want and how she couldn't handle twins, and asked if they ran in my family (like she was gonna have her kids with me). Then awhile later I heard her talking to her mom about how this was like our first date again, but never said that to me. The way she hints at this stuff makes me suspect that she wants to be with me ultimately, but she won't say it directly.
She's the one that broke up with me, so I don't know if I should just ask her flat out if she wants to start a relationship again. I'm all for it but I don't know if she wants it. We're both going to the same college in the fall but she's going into the marines in January. I think that might be why she hasn't asked, but I don't know. I guess it comes down to if it would be okay for me to ask her out again, or if I should just wait for her to do it.
Maybe this link from loveshack will give you an idea of what is going on. This is advice from a female dumper who now regrets what she did and wants her ex back. It's worth the read. I don't necessarily agree with all her advice. Perhaps she doesn't seem to understand that some dumpers make contact to string their dumpees along indefinitely.
Not to give you false hope but some dumpers who want you back may be reluctant to come back because of their pride. This could be what is going on in your case. You have a pretty good idea about her personality. Is she the type who is stubborn and too proud to admit when she makes a mistake?
But I don't think you should take the risk of asking her to try again. She has to be the one to swallow her pride if she really wants to come back. If she really wants you back then her interest level in you will eventually cut through that pride of hers. Just continue to keep her at a distance.
If I were you I'd try not to get my hopes up about the hints she's giving you. Hints don't count. She still has not said the magic words you want to hear. I sent you the above link just so you can look at your situation from a different angle. I'm not encouraging you to take it as gospel.
Sounds as though she has plans for her life and doesn't need a relationship to get in the way. Sorry guy but you may be just wasting your time and if you can't just enjoy the company you should, move on and stop holding out hope.
If you want her back now is your chance. Take a chance, you can definately not ask her to be in a relationship but there is no problem in doing the complete opposite. This is what i would do to make you get the truth out of her.
Next time she rings or whatever tell her, you dont think its a good idea if you guys talk at the moment because yourve decided to start looking to become involved in a relationship again and you dont think it would be fair to have an ex around because it would not be right for any new girl that comes into your life...
Tell her this!!! it is showing that you are after a relationship not saying with her, you are actually pushing her away which will pull her towards you.
Do this its showing your ready to find someone and therefore if she wants to be with you she will say but what about me or she will then say why dont we try again...
Do this because it will allow you to get your answers!!!!
I have been through many relationships and the best advice I can give you is this. It is hard to say what she really wants. Your perception may be distorted by the fact that you obviously want her back. You may be mistaking her comfort with you as more than she intends. You don't want to scare her away, but want her to know you are still interested. Tell her you are glad you are still friends but still think about her. . .this way you are not coming on too strong and she is somewhat forced to fill in the blank.
Not to give you false hope but some dumpers who want you back may be reluctant to come back because of their pride. This could be what is going on in your case. You have a pretty good idea about her personality. Is she the type who is stubborn and too proud to admit when she makes a mistake?
But I don't think you should take the risk of asking her to try again. She has to be the one to swallow her pride if she really wants to come back. If she really wants you back then her interest level in you will eventually cut through that pride of hers. Just continue to keep her at a distance.
If I were you I'd try not to get my hopes up about the hints she's giving you. Hints don't count. She still has not said the magic words you want to hear. I sent you the above link just so you can look at your situation from a different angle. I'm not encouraging you to take it as gospel.
She is DEFINITELY a stubborn girl. If she doesn't get her way she does get antsy and can throw a fit. This is just another reason why I think she wants to get back together, but can't admit that she was wrong in the first place. When we discussed what happened with our relationship she really was saying stuff I already knew.
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Sounds as though she has plans for her life and doesn't need a relationship to get in the way. Sorry guy but you may be just wasting your time and if you can't just enjoy the company you should, move on and stop holding out hope.
You know, I really have no problems with a friendship. I'd consider her one of my best friends because we get along so well and have fun together. I'm just tired of her flirting with me and acting like she wants to get back together only to not say anything about it. I just wish she'd give me a direct answer about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mckenzie134
If you want her back now is your chance. Take a chance, you can definately not ask her to be in a relationship but there is no problem in doing the complete opposite. This is what i would do to make you get the truth out of her.
Next time she rings or whatever tell her, you dont think its a good idea if you guys talk at the moment because yourve decided to start looking to become involved in a relationship again and you dont think it would be fair to have an ex around because it would not be right for any new girl that comes into your life...
Tell her this!!! it is showing that you are after a relationship not saying with her, you are actually pushing her away which will pull her towards you.
Do this its showing your ready to find someone and therefore if she wants to be with you she will say but what about me or she will then say why dont we try again...
Do this because it will allow you to get your answers!!!!
Do it Let us no what she says...
Hah...I don't know. That just seems like it would push her farther away than before. But if I did do this it wouldn't be a lie. I am interested in another girl and I'm not going to wait around for my ex to make up her mind. I'm actually going on a date on Sunday with a new girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeles99
I have been through many relationships and the best advice I can give you is this. It is hard to say what she really wants. Your perception may be distorted by the fact that you obviously want her back. You may be mistaking her comfort with you as more than she intends. You don't want to scare her away, but want her to know you are still interested. Tell her you are glad you are still friends but still think about her. . .this way you are not coming on too strong and she is somewhat forced to fill in the blank.
Nah, she has made it pretty clear that she still likes me. I want her back in a way, but I have also healed enough that if she doesn't come back, I won't fret about it. It's not distorting what she is clearly showing me.
People around me are just giving me so many different answers too. My family is saying I should make a move and ask her about it, while you guys are saying I should let her do it. I really am not sure.
Hey, why are you guys always afraid of false hope or losing face???
VAD, i bet she is waiting for you to make the first move. You are a man, at least show her that you are serious about this, being in half-way is not a great idea. Suggest her about the getting back idea. Do it playfully like " what if we get back together?" Or "last night i dreamt about us holding hands, getting back together"... If she loves that story then there you go! THere is nothing to lose and nothing wrong to know something.
Make the first move like your family I'd looking forward to your good news YEAH
Well here's my take on where to proceed from here. If you really love her and want her back then set a marker or deadline in your mind. Maybe give her 1 month to swallow her pride and say what she feels. If after a month she still hasn't budged then move on. You said it yourself that you have healed enough to the point where you can do just fine without her.
Hey, why are you guys always afraid of false hope or losing face???
VAD, i bet she is waiting for you to make the first move. You are a man, at least show her that you are serious about this, being in half-way is not a great idea. Suggest her about the getting back idea. Do it playfully like " what if we get back together?" Or "last night i dreamt about us holding hands, getting back together"... If she loves that story then there you go! THere is nothing to lose and nothing wrong to know something.
Make the first move like your family I'd looking forward to your good news YEAH
It's still not safe for him to make the first move. He runs the risk of being set back to square one in the healing process. He cannot afford to risk undoing all the progress he's made. He shouldn't put himself in a position where he's vulnerable to be rejected again.
It's still not safe for him to make the first move. He runs the risk of being set back to square one in the healing process. He cannot afford to risk undoing all the progress he's made. He shouldn't put himself in a position where he's vulnerable to be rejected again.
Who said he CANNOT afford to risk undoing all the progress he's made??? THat what YOU assume him to be, not what HE can or cannot do.
I'd looking forward to your good news 
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