my ex is having a baby and I'm having a mental breakdown

hheath541 · Aug 26, 2009, 02:10 PM

ok, i'll start with a little backstory, so it hopefully makes more sense to people.

i was engaged last year. i was head-over-heels, shoot-to-the-moon-and-back in live with him. we were living together and even had names for our children and were hoping to getting married this summer. things ended badly, and suddenly. i won't go into details, but he broke several lines of trust and i broke off the relationship and kicked him out.

i did not handle it well. I'm still not ok, and don't plan on ever being in another relationship. it still hurts, badly. there are still a lot of things that make me upset or depressed because they remind me of him.

well, today i go to check my facebook and see that he's going to be a father. I'm upset. i want to scream and cry and break something. and i don't know WHY!

i hate asking for personal advice, but if i don't I'm going to have a mental breakdown. I'm not sure what i want. i think i just need people to talk to for a bit.

ohsohappy · Aug 26, 2009, 06:53 PM

Oh god wow, If he's been visiting those inappropriate sites then he CLEARLY does not need to be having a child. not to mention, from what I do understand, child pornagraphy is a HUGE offense legally. people can go to jail for looking at it, I think, WHAT the heck? Yeah, if anything I feel sorry for the child. But really I dont' think you should ever tlak to him again, which I'm sure you wont.

WOW

Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

hheath541 · Aug 26, 2009, 06:55 PM

no, i don't mind. I'm 22.

ohsohappy · Aug 26, 2009, 07:03 PM

Well, I'm not much older than you, as I've said, but I do know this, give it time. But DO NOT give up entirely. Life is full of disappointments, but it's also filled with many pleasant surprises. You have many years left to your life. Although you may not be ready for a romantic relationship yet at this point of your life, don't entirely give up the thought for the future. In the mean time, just try to surround yourself with good people, who have Morals and Values that you can identify with. like I said, you could be pleasantly surprised. Don't harm your mental health by blocking everyone out. You need people. Good luck!

friend4u178 · Aug 26, 2009, 07:09 PM

You usually find that special person when you aren't even looking

artlady · Aug 26, 2009, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

no, she didn't have a part in our break-up. that was over a year ago and she was in a different state. we broke up because he started trying to tell me what to and then crossed a MAJOR line with one of my best friends (no, he didn't cheat with her). after i broke it off i went through the Internet logs on his account on my computer and found out that he had been visiting incest and child porn sites. like i said, he broke several lines of trust and the blow out was not pretty.

creepy.
Keep that image in your head and be grateful you are away from someone with a severe psycho sexual disease.