my ex is having a baby and I'm having a mental breakdown
ok, i'll start with a little backstory, so it hopefully makes more sense to people.
i was engaged last year. i was head-over-heels, shoot-to-the-moon-and-back in live with him. we were living together and even had names for our children and were hoping to getting married this summer. things ended badly, and suddenly. i won't go into details, but he broke several lines of trust and i broke off the relationship and kicked him out.
i did not handle it well. I'm still not ok, and don't plan on ever being in another relationship. it still hurts, badly. there are still a lot of things that make me upset or depressed because they remind me of him.
well, today i go to check my facebook and see that he's going to be a father. I'm upset. i want to scream and cry and break something. and i don't know WHY!
i hate asking for personal advice, but if i don't I'm going to have a mental breakdown. I'm not sure what i want. i think i just need people to talk to for a bit.
i went through the Internet logs on his account on my computer and found out that he had been visiting incest and child porn sites. like i said, he broke several lines of trust and the blow out was not pretty.
no, she didn't have a part in our break-up. that was over a year ago and she was in a different state. we broke up because he started trying to tell me what to and then crossed a MAJOR line with one of my best friends (no, he didn't cheat with her). after i broke it off i went through the Internet logs on his account on my computer and found out that he had been visiting incest and child porn sites. like i said, he broke several lines of trust and the blow out was not pretty.
Several lines of trust!!! Call the police, save what you found My G-D girl he's having a baby, if that is true you need to report it and I don't mean to the pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry, you probably already reported it right? Please tell me you did?
Several lines of trust!!! Call the police, save what you found My G-D girl he's having a baby, if that is true you need to report it and I don't mean to the pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry, you probably already reported it right? Please tell me you did?
there was nothing to report. he made sure that the sites he visited were all CGI and animation, which isn't regulated by law. it's a stupid loophole that excludes material that doesn't involve actual people. most of the sites were of the hentai/anime variety.
he TRIED to cover his tracks. he clicked on every single popup and banner add known to mankind. unfortunately for him, i have a mac. my browser logs websites by site name and description, not by url, and only logs them once, instead of every time that site is visited. i could see a list of sites he'd visited, how many times, and for how long. my guess is that he never figured out how to erase the browser history on a mac.
i did send his younger sister and a mutual friend who lives in the same area as his family a DETAILED explanation of why we broke up and what i found. never got a response from his sister, but i did get an extremely angry email from him after that. he denied everything but the porn sites.
if it is his ex, then they deserve each other. i feel worse for the kid.
she rescued a cat that had been locked in an empty apartment for more than a week without food and water. when she took it home it didn't get along with her other cats and didn't like being handled. instead of working on gaining it's trust and actually taking care of it, she locked it in a large closet. she would put food and water in there, but didn't go in to clean out the little box or give the cat any attention. several weeks later the cat had kittens. i have no idea what she did after that.
let them have a kid together. i don't see them being able to keep it.
if it is his ex, then they deserve each other. i feel worse for the kid.
she rescued a cat that had been locked in an empty apartment for more than a week without food and water. when she took it home it didn't get along with her other cats and didn't like being handled. instead of working on gaining it's trust and actually taking care of it, she locked it in a large closet. she would put food and water in there, but didn't go in to clean out the little box or give the cat any attention. several weeks later the cat had kittens. i have no idea what she did after that.
let them have a kid together. i don't see them being able to keep it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hheath541
if i hadn't fallen in love in the first place, no one would have gotten hurt. ugh.
You know when I was younger I heard a phrase that is really true if you think about it. Every relationship ends in tragedy. It's usually either a bad breakup or death. The hurt of a break up sucks, I don't disagree. Part of the problem is it just seems to linger, as opposed a broken bone for example where the pain is in intense but 6-8 weeks later everything is mostly back to normal. The emotional pain is the worst kind of pain. Having said all that, and knowing that if you hadn't fallen in love this would never have happened, there is a true sense of becoming stronger that a break up can offer you if you choose to accept it. If you tell yourself, "Yes this is not great in the moment, but when I overcome these feelings I will be stronger and much better suited to take on the next challenge and relationship" it gives you strength. Ever great growth period in your life was because of a difficult time. Difficult times and situations force us to grow and think differently, and become stronger people. It's horrible to lose someone, but it's awesome to find out how that lose can help you learn more about yourself and your inner strength. I encourage you to start seeing and focusing on the good that is coming from this situation.
the only strength and life lesson I've drawn from it is the knowledge that love, at least for me, only leads to people getting hurt and that if i avoid relationships no one gets hurt.
You made the right decision to boot him!!
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