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Girlfriend states that she dont love me anymore

Asked Mar 29, 2011, 03:17 AM — 111 Answers
Threads merged several times, please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread


Hi after a serious 2 year relationship my girlfriend just broke up with me by text.she then got with someone else who she is now not with.I still have no real reason from her as to why we are not together and she claimed to love me forever and now she just wants to be friends even though the day before that she told me she wants to be with me forever.

She now does not even want to be friends she won't talk to me or get in touch at all. How can she just erase me from her life like that when we was planning on spending the rest of our lifes together and we was just about to get a house.can she really spend the rest of her life just forgetting me? I hope one day she will just talk to me again I mean I treated her perfect and she was so in love with me and I believe she has just forgotton that.

My ex and I planed our lifes together and she was so in love with me and I'm still so in love with her but she left saying she needed me time and then she got with a lot of boys which broke my heart,she got back in touch told me she wants me back and wants to make it up to me and the next day said she just wants to be friends.

A week later she does not even want to be friends she won't get in touch or anything.she is erasing me from her life and it hurts so much.for a whole two years she was so loving warm and soft and caring so this coldness just does not seem like her at all I'm waiting for her to miss me but I think she has got me out of her head does this mean the past two years have been a lie.

Can you just stop loving someone the day after you say you want kids and a house with them?

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111 Answers
loveher4eva's Avatar
loveher4eva Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
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#51

Apr 12, 2011, 08:40 AM
Comment on martinizing2's post
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Originally Posted by martinizing2 View Post
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Originally Posted by loveher4eva View Post
OK I know you are all trying to help and you all say this person will hurt me again if I ever got back with them but in all fairness you don't get many success stories on here because only hurt people come on for help. People can get back and your rite its not good to need someone and it is me that's hurting myself rite now but until I do one thing that's always going to happen. What I want to do is meet her for an hour or so to calmly talk to her about what I thought went wrong and to say sorry for things I did and not to throw any blame at her or shout just to say what I feel and then to walk away knowing I tried one last time or I promise you now I will regret it for the rest of my lie. If she honestly does not want to try and work on things and become stronger and better and to learn from our mistakes then I can know she really does not want me at all not now or ever. I know so many people that have got back together and given it a second chance and come off stronger.
It will not happen.

Why would she listen , she is out of this all and doesn't want any more of it?

You are not walking away.
You were left behind wounded battered and unable to continue because she will not give you the chance to be any part of her life again , including a normal conversation.

That comes after you heal , sometimes. And not in every case , for some conversation with the ex is extinct.
Oh I know this trust me and I have no false hope to go on or any beliefe whatsoever. I know she does not want to be with the person I WAS I did not see it at the time but all this has made me understand that I took her for granted and pressured her too much to do things she did not want to do. And I understand her not wanting to be with that person. I also understand she was so happy and in love when I did spend a lot of time with her so if I took all the good from our relationship and removed the bad and changed then my point is I want her to know the person I could be. Then if she wants no part of me I can say fair enough and leave it.
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martinizing2's Avatar
martinizing2 Posts: 1,864, Reputation: 4101
Expert
  
#52

Apr 12, 2011, 08:51 AM
She may see that person you want her to see.

Five or ten years down the road if you live like the person you say you are.
She will not listen , she may respond to action if it is proven over several years.
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loveher4eva's Avatar
loveher4eva Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
  
#53

Apr 18, 2011, 01:51 AM
I woke up today thinking about our sex and how great it was for both of us I really want her body so much. I just have this horrible feeling that she is not only never going to get in touch but never going to realise what she has done or admit to herself that she has done wrong, I don't think she will ever feel sorry or care what happens to me again. I honestly don't think she is missing me one bit or ever will and that feeling is the worst I have ever had in my life
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amicon's Avatar
amicon Posts: 6,063, Reputation: 9563
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#54

Apr 18, 2011, 02:13 AM
You may not realise this now,but it doesn't matter what she thinks,feels or does,now or in the future.

What matters is how you handle yourself,how you get closure within yourself and move forward.

The feelings you're having are normal,but you need to distract yourself from them and not keep dwelling on them.

You're life is here and now,not in the past.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,318, Reputation: 50346
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#55

Apr 18, 2011, 05:28 AM


You have a long way to go if you are still feeding on those past emotions, and allowing yourself to be dragged back to those dark places you felt when you got dumped. Its almost like lying to yourself.

The whole point is to grow beyond the past, and embrace the future, not worry about what you want her to do. You are being controlled by YOUR own inability to cope with your feelings, and that as you see just prolongs the misery, and stops the healing.

Usually this indicates you are not as busy in a part of your life that you should be, and need to take an honest look at yourself, and make some bold adjustments.
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loveher4eva's Avatar
loveher4eva Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
  
#56

Apr 19, 2011, 10:23 AM
Hello I am feeling slightly different at the moment. I have been doing the 30 day diary writing down how I feel each day and I think it has helped a bit. I know now that we will never be together and that its is over. I just have this feeling that for the rest of my life I'm going to look back and think sad thoughts rather than happy.it is going to stay with me forever and o honestly believe I will never love again not as strong or as safe. I hate to think that my ex is just going to pick someone else to replace me and have a happy life whilst I am alone and can't love anyone. They say you learn from your mistakes well it seems my biggest mistake was to trust someone too much. I still deeply am sad about the baby we should have been having in the following weeks
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kctiger's Avatar
kctiger Posts: 3,631, Reputation: 6566
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#57

Apr 19, 2011, 10:32 AM
We all have the thoughts after a break up of never being able to find another special someone. That is natural. It goes away after awhile, with time and with effort to focus your energy on more positive, new adventures.
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loveher4eva's Avatar
loveher4eva Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
  
#58

Apr 20, 2011, 01:24 AM
After finding out a lot of girls I know are cheating on their boyfirends I am shocked and horrified. I mus tbe this blind fool walking around seein the best in everyone and believing they can all be trusted when they tell you they will love you for every and never hurt you. After listening to all my friends that are girls I now see that my ex prob cheated a lot more than she let on and lied a lot more too because I never questioned her or doubted her at all. How in the hell am I meant to ever think I can find a girl who will not only love me but not cheat on me.?
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,318, Reputation: 50346
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#59

Apr 20, 2011, 02:53 AM


LOL, it may seem that way now, but later you will be a lot more careful with the partners you pick, and a lot more careful with who you give your heart to.

Your growing pains are making you a much more experienced wiser person.

What you thought that wisdom just happens? Show me a wise person, and I will show you a person that has gone through a lot of trials, and tribulations in life.
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loveher4eva's Avatar
loveher4eva Posts: 73, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
  
#60

Apr 21, 2011, 12:05 AM
Hmm for the first time in two week she text me yesterday asking me if I knew a boy who's name I won't say. That's all nothing else so I ignored and did not text back how can she just casually text me after everything she did. I don't think she knows that I know what she did. Should I tell her or leave it
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