Girlfriend states that she dont love me anymore

loveher4eva · Apr 8, 2011, 12:18 AM

Hmmm last night was bad. Yesterday I thought I was having a good day because I told meself she is a cheat so I can't love her but last night I could not sleep. I kept having nightmares about her been different and telling me that she did not find me attractive and she laughed when she told me when she cheated on me. I feel so strange today I hate it.

amicon · Apr 8, 2011, 12:55 AM

Dreams are just dreams,your subconscious is working through the separation-so stop thinking about it.

You'll have good days and bad,that's normal.

The bad days are better handled through being active and having a plan,so get out and do something!

loveher4eva · Apr 11, 2011, 01:25 AM

Seriously now I have started doing the tip or making a diary about how your dealing with each day. I have read over what I have done and honestly it has not got better its only got worse. I'm terrified that she will never be in my life sharing it with me. I know that's not what you want me to say but its the truth. I can't cope or ever be happy with how everything has unfolded in the past couple of month.its sad I know but I'm not ashamed to admit I need her and want her for the rest of my life. Please help me. I think I will giv emy self a year to see if things get better but then if they have not I won't know what to do

amicon · Apr 11, 2011, 01:51 AM

Again,are you keeping yourself busy?

Even though you're hurting,you should still do your outmost to have a life,doing things to distract yourself from this self inflicted torture that you're putting yourself through.

You're doing this to you,nobody else is.

And you can choose n o t to do it.

That would be a great way of 'getting things to get better'!

talaniman · Apr 11, 2011, 08:39 AM

This is not about her at all and has never been. Its about how you cope with the reality of life, and your own feelings because just think how crazy it sounds to want someone who you know will hurt you again, as they have before.

Doesn't that sound crazy to you? That's what you are letting your emotions do to you, drive you crazy, and that's the whole point......................you control what you do about your own feelings, no matter what, or they will control YOU!

That ain't no good, is it?

awayandalone · Apr 11, 2011, 07:01 PM

You say you need her...that's ridiculous, no one should ever need anyone else to make themselves happy. Do what makes you happy. Your life is in your control again, look at it that way. You no longer have to buy gifts, remember crazy anniversary dates, you can go where you please when you please and not have to answer to anyone as to why you were not home at a certain time! We all understand its rough to get through, but believe us when we say we have all been there. There are plenty of people on this site who can attest to the fact that they pulled through a difficult break up, are still here to tell about it, and 9/10 happier to be without that person they were missing during the initial phases of the breakup. Do things for yourself bro and you can pull through this. Hit the gym, hit the bars with friends, take up a class. Myself I learned how to bartend, have a great side job now, took a hunting class, got in shape. There are plenty of things to do that are cheap or free! Keep up the NC and good luck!

loveher4eva · Apr 12, 2011, 07:49 AM

OK I know you are all trying to help and you all say this person will hurt me again if I ever got back with them but in all fairness you don't get many success stories on here because only hurt people come on for help. People can get back and your rite its not good to need someone and it is me that's hurting myself rite now but until I do one thing that's always going to happen. What I want to do is meet her for an hour or so to calmly talk to her about what I thought went wrong and to say sorry for things I did and not to throw any blame at her or shout just to say what I feel and then to walk away knowing I tried one last time or I promise you now I will regret it for the rest of my lie. If she honestly does not want to try and work on things and become stronger and better and to learn from our mistakes then I can know she really does not want me at all not now or ever. I know so many people that have got back together and given it a second chance and come off stronger.

talaniman · Apr 12, 2011, 08:16 AM

She doesn't seem to want to give you that chance so why keep running head first into a brick wall?

Nothing you have posted says she is willing to do what you want.

loveher4eva · Apr 12, 2011, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

She doesn't seem to want to give you that chance so why keep running head first into a brick wall?

Nothing you have posted says she is willing to do what you want.

Yeah I know what you mean and I'm going to keep the no contact in tact but if she gets in touch I will try go get my point across with out attacking her about it straight away. Its something I need to do. Its only been about 9 days since we both text each other seems a lot longer though

martinizing2 · Apr 12, 2011, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveher4eva

OK I know you are all trying to help and you all say this person will hurt me again if I ever got back with them but in all fairness you don't get many success stories on here because only hurt people come on for help. People can get back and your rite its not good to need someone and it is me that's hurting myself rite now but until I do one thing that's always going to happen. What I want to do is meet her for an hour or so to calmly talk to her about what I thought went wrong and to say sorry for things I did and not to throw any blame at her or shout just to say what I feel and then to walk away knowing I tried one last time or I promise you now I will regret it for the rest of my lie. If she honestly does not want to try and work on things and become stronger and better and to learn from our mistakes then I can know she really does not want me at all not now or ever. I know so many people that have got back together and given it a second chance and come off stronger.

It will not happen.

Why would she listen , she is out of this all and doesn't want any more of it?

You are not walking away.
You were left behind wounded battered and unable to continue because she will not give you the chance to be any part of her life again , including a normal conversation.

That comes after you heal , sometimes. And not in every case , for some conversation with the ex is extinct.

Girlfriend states that she dont love me anymore

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