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    kgl's Avatar
    kgl Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 3, 2008, 03:10 PM
    Ex girlfriend tried to make contact AGAIN!
    Ok, for those that remember I had a post the other week about my ex contacting me and now she has again... well tried to.

    I'm 21 she is 18.
    She broke up with me in early January after we had been together for 1 1/2 years. I have kept No Contact since.

    About 3 weeks later she had sent me a message asking me how I was doing, you guys reckon it was just a guilt message.

    Then she came to where I worked a couple of weeks after that, I did not talk to her.

    Now this weekend she had come to my work AGAIN, but this time she was asked to leave, this was all before I actually got to work (asked because the boss thought it would upset me if I saw her).

    What is she playing at? Trying to come in when I'm there? What do you guys think of her behavior?
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
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    #2

    Mar 3, 2008, 03:15 PM
    She wants you back. What is killing her now is that you don't want her back. You are witnessing the birth of a stalker.
    kgl's Avatar
    kgl Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Mar 3, 2008, 03:34 PM
    Haha, I'm starting to think she may be missing me but don't know about the stalker part lol.

    She hasn't tried contacting me by phone or email or anything, maybe she thinks I won't answer.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #4

    Mar 3, 2008, 03:43 PM
    I think you need closure on this... something is on your mind and you need to finish it for yourself. Do you really know what you want and have plans to achieve this goal? Try writing it all down for yourself in a pro and con product, look at it and decide.

    Good luck and keep us posted.

    kgl's Avatar
    kgl Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 3, 2008, 05:45 PM
    Tbh, I don't know what I want, most of the time I wish we were still together and that this had never happened, however during the relationship there were many times when I was unhappy however my biggest issue is that we did so much together its kind of all that goes through my head, like all the things we did, e.g.. We went overseas and stuff (bout a month before she broke up with me) these memories r great but hurt me a lot cause I know I'll never share that with her again.

    Her behavior since we broke up is weird though, I don't know what she is trying to do by coming into the place I work. I hear also (btw this really upset me) that there is some guy hanging out with her but they are not dating :/ I didn't know what to take of this but it hurt a lot. She is not someone that does stuff with random people though, she is quite insecure about herself so I couldn't see her already doing stuff with these people.

    A little background info: She moved to her grandparents which is 3 hours+ away from where I live, yet she comes back home every weekend. She told me, when she dumped me, that she hated this place, she needed to find herself and that we could try dating again when she was ready :/

    You said I need closure, is that like something to separate us apart again? I'm a noob at relationships and this is the first time I've ever lost someone I love and yeah its quite painful.

    But still what do you guys think of her behavior, I'm starting to side with that she is missing me cause honestly nothing else makes sense.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Mar 3, 2008, 06:22 PM
    You may be right, but what important is the next step is up to you really. What do you think you should do as she seems to have something to say, good or bad is any one guess.There also has to be a reason she hasn't called, and just said her piece. Coming to your job, without warning is unsettling to me, and not a good idea. Just me though. Your there what are your thoughts?
    SJB1701E's Avatar
    SJB1701E Posts: 164, Reputation: 30
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Mar 4, 2008, 01:04 AM
    She might not know how to approach you. If she comes by work while your there just be friendly. Say hey, avoid talking about your relationship, and just act like you are over it. If you are nice, relaxed and comfortable, she will feel the same way. Maybe she just wants to say hi, maybe she wants something more. The only way to know is if she talks to you. The most important thing is to not have any expectations. Next time she drops by work, be relaxed and just walk up and say hey. Be confident in yourself, no matter what she has to say. Be friendly and just relax. If you have to cry, just hold it in till she leaves. You don't want her seeing that. Believe me. You want her to see a collected confidant guy, no matter what she has to say. Be strong.
    BILLYJADEN's Avatar
    BILLYJADEN Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #8

    Mar 4, 2008, 09:15 AM
    Dude She Wants U Back... im Actually Going To Inorge My Ex To See If That Happens To Me... lmao. If You See Her Treat Her Nice And In A Unique Way That She Will Fall For You More.
    Witchywoman1212's Avatar
    Witchywoman1212 Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Mar 4, 2008, 09:45 AM
    Exes always mae contact, don't fall for it,pleeeaaase don't!
    They may still want you in there lives because they miss you not because they want you back, so don't get your hopes up, but hope for the best.
    Your boss is cool, actually looking out for you
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #10

    Mar 4, 2008, 11:52 AM
    kgl.. there are only two 'sure things' in life - we are born and then we die...

    Closure means closing one chapter in life and starting a new one, but with knowledge and assurance, so that there are no doubts.

    You have doubts, so there is no closure for you in this relationship yet.
    Also, you don't know if you'll ever share good moments with her again or not - you don't know what will happen in 2,5,10 or even twenty years down the road unless you have a 'seer's' talent.

    You said you are new to all of this, so you have choices to make, some good, some bad, but nevertheless choices. You can meet her, play it cool, don't get all the answers to your questions - and keep on torturing yourself. Or you can meet her, several times if need be, and get her side of it - and then find out what you did wrong 'together' and what you might be able to fix.

    Listen, we are not going to lie to you. Relationships can be roller-coasters or smooth rides... and you will probably have many old or new rides along the way in your life - it's part of being human and gaining experience and growth.

    So, if you have a strong need to continue something with this young lady, it is your choice to make. Just know that you are not alone and that anything can happen. The important things to remember are that you should respect and trust each other and communicate a lot - otherwise nothing is going to work out. It is now time too open a new door in your life, so turn the knob and take that step no matter where it takes you. We all have to walk and sometimes fall, but we are still here, and you too will survive. If the ride gets rough, come back and let us know and we'll see if we can help the healing process. If the ride gets you to a place happier than where you are now - congrats, and still let us know.

    Remember, it's your choice and good luck.


    Suggest she not go to your workplace - it's only entertainment for others who are not really involved in your private life.

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