Ex girlfriend RUINED me, Help Please!

I met her when I was 25, I am now 27. She is 2 years younger. Of the 2 years I've known her we were only together for the first 7 months, most of which was the happiest most fulfilling time of my life. The rest of that 2 years I've spent emailing her, sending her cards, letters, chocolate, trying to get her back...In a final effort to get her back I wrote a letter and sent her a birthday gift, I did not expect anything and weeks went by. I began letting go.

Suddenly I get a few emails from her, one of which is talking about reconciliation. I thought I was getting her back but then she emailed saying she didn't mean to initiate reconciliation quite yet...Then she calls and we talk on the phone for like 40 minutes, but it's mostly just chit-chat because she has a hard time talking about serious things. I'm all discombobulated, but contact is occurring and this is good so I let it pan out.

Weeks go by, I feel toyed with and upset, like she's just playing with my emotions and keeping me as a backup plan. I don't know if she's dating someone else while talking to me or if she even really really cares about me. Instead of the usual ***** cat email with endless love I sent an email asking her to address these concerns..concerns that I'm just a backup plan, that she is dating as we speak, that her excuses for breaking up were real, you know..just questions of insecurity because that's what all the silence and rejection did to me.

She immediately emails me back saying she "will respond to this in a couple days." 4 days go by and it's Sunday, still no word. I text her asking if my birthday package got to her yet (it was lost in the mail...) and whether I could expect a call or email soon. She texted me back saying "no package, I said id email and I will." After 4 days of no contact and that snappy text I know I'm in for hurt, I can just feel it.

2 hours later I get the most horrendous email of rejection... She didn't answer any of my questions or concerns, she just said something like "it's so shocking to see you hit such highs and lows" and "she doesn't want to continue" and "she sees now that it didn't work for more reasons than she remembered" and "she's sorry". When read this email I called her immediately but she had changed her cell number in the 2 hours between her text and her email! I have no way to contact her!

The questions burning me up are..Were my concerns legitimate? By asking her to address them and put them to rest, was I being too selfish or was I just sticking up for my own proper self respect? Should I have just kept my mouth shut and buried these emotions deep down knowing that if I bring them up she'll just cut me out again? Should I be ripping my hair out or celebrating this result?

Some background:
I quit my job and moved home because something happened at work and couldn't take it anymore, plus I needed time to take pre-req classes for grad school..I put my career goals first and moved away from her while we were still together...I sold everything I owned and moved home with my mom to take my classes...I was determined to make it work with her, finish my classes and move back. She left me a few months later. So now I lost everything and I feel like my life is just a huge failure unless I get her back.

There are just so many things that happened, so many pains, she strung me along after breaking up for so long, yes, no yes no, yes I mean no, no, ok lets meet and see, yes, I meant no. This whole pattern went on for so long and has just killed me and she has been in control the whole time. A couple times I took flights to go see her and she wouldn't see me when I got there. I mean my heart has just been ripped out oh so politely and forgive-ably so many times by this one person. I feel like I have to get her back and she is the one but also like I was never really happy with her as a person. She was really hyper controlling, she never drank or smoked and she seemed to be jealous of my life, my past and my general security as an individual. She seemed to have a lot of secrets and was very careful. At the same time she was the sweetest thing in the world and I couldn't stand up for myself or leave her. She was always insecure about the fact that I was educated...

We both came from different backgrounds...I come from a family with money, standard 2 kids, college education, trips, we do stuff and life doesn't squash us. She comes from a broken home, a schizophrenic mother and abusive transient boyfriends, she told me this 4 months into the relationship and also mentioned a few incidents where she was in foster care because her mother was crazy or something. She has like 12 brothers and sisters, never went to college, was in a lot of debt from a shopping addiction and was trapped in a job that wasn't getting her towards her goals. I have had many girlfriends but lots of time alone and lonely, she has been in relationships straight since she moved in with an older guy at age 17.

And yet I love her. If she just treated me the way she did that few happy months I would never leave her or think of another. But when confronted with questions about serious topics I become an "exhausting" bother and she shuts me out. This time it's for good. I don't know whether to slit my wrist or take a pill, go get drunk or what.. I have been alone now without her for so long, and no others can compare. I have a therapist who told me she was an insecure person that would transfer the insecurity to me over the course of the relationship..that was so true because I am now the most insecure miserable untrusting person towards females, I feel like my life is over and I don't know what to do about this pain that won't go away. Please someone help me.

I have tried drinking, smoking. I have tried not smoking or drinking. I have tried working out every day and body building. I have tried driving my corvette really fast. I have tried focusing on school work and acing tests. I have tried renting movies every day. I have tried dating another girl (who dumped me quickly because I was moaning about this ex-girlfriend!).
I have tried talking about it with a therapist. I have tried everything and nothing has worked, I need help because I just want to die because of this girl.

The last serious ex girlfriend played with my feelings and I ended up contacting her by email until she got a restraining order on me.