ex girlfriend, move on, is there hope?

sadnlostedddd · Oct 2, 2009, 12:39 PM

My ex and i dated for about 3 and a half years, we met in high school and dated through our sophomore years of college, i treated her as best as i could, i took her out, i never raised my voice at her or cussed at her, i never cheated on her, im ambitious and those were all qualities that she liked so i was very secure as her boyfriend, she was a very good girlfriend, she was also ambitious, she's gorgeous, and she was very very loyal and faithful

about 3 weeks ago we broke up, it was mutual, we just wanted to be single and go as individuals and if it was meant to be, later on we'd get back together. we were both very sad, and at first i tried to get her to call it off, but she told me that she wanted to go through with it, so i left her alone, all of this happened over facebook chat because she was too upset to talk to me over the phone

so for the past 3 weeks i;ve been giving her the space that she asked for, i;ve been working on improving myself, i started teaching myself the keyboard(sorta) i've been in the gym, and ive been keeping up wiht my classes, during this time i spent hours researching the best way to get your ex back

eventually i came up with a plan to get her back, after a few more weeks i was going to try and start as friends and build up from there

but yesterday i received a fatal blow when i looked on her facebook page and saw that she was in a relationship with another guy. i was so shocked because she never ever gave a guy another look while we were dating, and i didnt think she d get snap out of it that quickly. while i dont know the new guy, hes not very attractive according to all of her friends and we're exact opposites, basically he's opposite of everything she told me she liked

i asked her about it and i asked her how she could move on so quikcly and she said she was still in love with me and would never get over me but she was trying to move on, as much as it hurt me, i was so nice to her, and wished her well

now i'm lost, todya she put pictures of her up sleepign with the first present that i ever got her, a stuffed bear, thats very symbolic to her, and she still wears the necklace i gave her, i know she misses me, but idk what to think of this new relationship, is it a rebound? is she missing the attention i gave her, and should i wait for her, i love her so much, more than anything, and i know most people would say move on, but im so stuck on this girl that i cant see myself dating anyone else, i know im still young (20) but im in a terrible place right now, i want to know whether i should continue to live my life, and hope that this relationship fails, or should i try and block her out all the way

PLEASEEEE HELP ME!!!

amicon · Nov 6, 2009, 10:20 AM

Have a good time and tell your friends you dont want any updates!

bella99 · Nov 6, 2009, 10:48 AM

You need to tell your friends that you don't want to hear any news updates about her - you don't care if they saw her - you are moving on. You can tell them that it stings to hear about her if you want. They should understand that you don't want to know the play by play of her life anymore since you are moving on.

Ther4peuticH3at · Nov 6, 2009, 01:32 PM

Update - Force fed myself some grapes today ;] ... For me, reading has helped so far (as long as its not a textbook). Also, by accident, I started listening to AOL comedy radio, and it feels good to laugh and especially to laugh about relationships. Maybe I'll be over this whole thing in no time...

sadnlostedddd · Nov 7, 2009, 10:35 AM

Went out to a couple of parties, had a great time, danced on some girls, met a lot of poeple, basically the single college life. There were points that I thought about my ex and what she was doing, and that would consume my thoughts for a couple of minutes, but then I would go a long time without thinking about her which made me feel good too. still depressed that im still thinking about her tho...i have feeeling that im on my way to moving on, been n NC for almost a week

bella99 · Nov 7, 2009, 12:36 PM

It's gnna take a while - don't expect your feelings to change automatically just because youve been doing NC for a week. Seriously it takes a while and you guys were together for a long time - so don't be hard on yourself.

Glad you went out! I know its not the same but eventually you will start to enjoy yourself

longdistance78 · Nov 8, 2009, 12:50 PM

From a female and from my own perspective, usually when a woman leaves a guy it usually means she has moved on. I think women in general give their all when in a relationship, but will be willing to take it all with her and leave when she feels the need to do so.

I think it's best that you move on.

paxe · Nov 8, 2009, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by longdistance78

From a female and from my own perspective, usually when a woman leaves a guy it usually means she has moved on. I think women in general give their all when in a relationship, but will be willing to take it all with her and leave when she feels the need to do so.

I think it's best that you move on.

Yes, but most of them will leave for someone else or will jump into another relationship (rebound). On top of that, most of them will make the boy confused and get him to stay in the "friend" zone and give them false hope.

sadnlostedddd · Nov 10, 2009, 10:05 AM

So wow, this morning there was a career fair at a nearby university, it was a statewide thing so students from a bunch of different colleges were there, and would have never guessed it but so was my ex. She was with her new guy, she saw me, stopped and stared, looked like she was about to start crying but before she did she turned away and started walking quickly towards the restroom. I feel bad, but like, I didn't do anything, I didn't know she was going to be there, and I didn't know that she would react that way if she saw me, it was the first time I saw her since 2 weeks before we broke up so its been almost 3 months, but to be honest, I wasn't even thinking about her today before I saw her, but now I can't get her out of my mind, I just got back from the career fair and I feel sick to my stomach, I feel like all the work that I did has gone to waste because I feel like I'm back to where i started. Idk why she started crying but it made me feel bad and it made me want to comfort her, and she did this infront of her new boyfriend, idk i guess I'm just venting idk what to do now.

amicon · Nov 10, 2009, 10:51 AM

There s nothing you can do except accepting it and let it go.
It feels like a setback but you couldnt have known this would happen.
Get busy and think ahead.

superteen00 · Nov 10, 2009, 11:37 AM

DUDE STOP STALKING HER FACEBOOK. IF YOU WANT TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT THIS YOU CANT DO THAT.(And frankly it's a little pathetic)

Now go out in the world and b your l on some T's