My ex and i dated for about 3 and a half years, we met in high school and dated through our sophomore years of college, i treated her as best as i could, i took her out, i never raised my voice at her or cussed at her, i never cheated on her, im ambitious and those were all qualities that she liked so i was very secure as her boyfriend, she was a very good girlfriend, she was also ambitious, she's gorgeous, and she was very very loyal and faithful

about 3 weeks ago we broke up, it was mutual, we just wanted to be single and go as individuals and if it was meant to be, later on we'd get back together. we were both very sad, and at first i tried to get her to call it off, but she told me that she wanted to go through with it, so i left her alone, all of this happened over facebook chat because she was too upset to talk to me over the phone

so for the past 3 weeks i;ve been giving her the space that she asked for, i;ve been working on improving myself, i started teaching myself the keyboard(sorta) i've been in the gym, and ive been keeping up wiht my classes, during this time i spent hours researching the best way to get your ex back

eventually i came up with a plan to get her back, after a few more weeks i was going to try and start as friends and build up from there

but yesterday i received a fatal blow when i looked on her facebook page and saw that she was in a relationship with another guy. i was so shocked because she never ever gave a guy another look while we were dating, and i didnt think she d get snap out of it that quickly. while i dont know the new guy, hes not very attractive according to all of her friends and we're exact opposites, basically he's opposite of everything she told me she liked

i asked her about it and i asked her how she could move on so quikcly and she said she was still in love with me and would never get over me but she was trying to move on, as much as it hurt me, i was so nice to her, and wished her well

now i'm lost, todya she put pictures of her up sleepign with the first present that i ever got her, a stuffed bear, thats very symbolic to her, and she still wears the necklace i gave her, i know she misses me, but idk what to think of this new relationship, is it a rebound? is she missing the attention i gave her, and should i wait for her, i love her so much, more than anything, and i know most people would say move on, but im so stuck on this girl that i cant see myself dating anyone else, i know im still young (20) but im in a terrible place right now, i want to know whether i should continue to live my life, and hope that this relationship fails, or should i try and block her out all the way

PLEASEEEE HELP ME!!!

talaniman

You didn't give her what she wants so she has some one else, but its mean when she decides you wont just be friends like she wants from you. Don't you think thats selfish, to not understand what you need?

Leave her alone any way as what she thinks is no longer important. Trust me the healing time without her will help you, whether she likes it or not.

sadnlostedddd

That is true. Thanks for the tough love fellas, I appreciate it. I'm in college so there are plenty of options around, should I start casually dating now to help get over, or should I just spend some time alone. I'm pretty pissed off at ex for how she did me dirty so I want to get over her but besides NC whats the next step

Imabadman

We're already given you our advice on the next steps.

I wish

Here's a list of things to do after a break up: http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...kup-78597.html

You don't need to rush back into the dating sceen, but I would definitely recommend that you reconnect with old friends and find new friends as well.

sadnlostedddd

Just another question, I had a good weekend, went out, made a few new friends and enjoyed myself, didn't think about my ex too much, and started to realize that I was probably better off without her, last night was the first night probably since the breakup that i didnt dream about her, so I know i'm making progress, but today she sent me a text, i didnt respond and I have no intentions of responding, but when I saw her name pop up on my screen I got kind of sad and started to miss her some, Will I always miss her, being that she was my first love? Or will I get to the point where I can look at her and feel no real emotions towards her, that's my goal.

talaniman

While your feelings at her texts may have surprised you, and stirred up old feelings, this is a pretty normal reaction.

As time goes by, and you replace those old feelings with her, with new ones of other things, it wont be so intense, or surprising, and you will have healed enough to handle those triggers from the past.

None of us truly forgets ever, the first though, but we deal with it better.

Prillmill

One thing that helped me was changing my ex's name in my phone. It currently reads "BiaBia". Immature? Maybe. Does it help me? Yep.

sadnlostedddd

New update: I came home for fall break, and as I stated a few days ago I've been doing pretty well, and I've been working towards moving on and working on myself. but when I got home, I drove past a few places that my ex and I used to visit a lot, and all of a sudden I got this crazy rush of nostalgia. Last night I can probably count at least 5 different dreams that I had of her, and it'd been a while since I had any dreams of her. Am I back to square one? I really want to move on and get her out of my head for good.

Imabadman

One day at a time... that all you can do. Take it minute by minute then day by day, month to month, and BAM POW Batman you just don't give a poo about her any more. Life nor love is easy. Nothing ever worth while is.

Stay strong.

rockie100

I understand the rush of nastalgia. For a very long time I avoided places that my ex and I had spent time. You see the mind and heart tend to remember good times when triggered. Then you have to make yourself think of the whole ordeal again to snap out of it. It takes time but someday you will be over it. Your not back at square one. To be back there you would have to break NC. So dont do that. Right?