My ex and i dated for about 3 and a half years, we met in high school and dated through our sophomore years of college, i treated her as best as i could, i took her out, i never raised my voice at her or cussed at her, i never cheated on her, im ambitious and those were all qualities that she liked so i was very secure as her boyfriend, she was a very good girlfriend, she was also ambitious, she's gorgeous, and she was very very loyal and faithful

about 3 weeks ago we broke up, it was mutual, we just wanted to be single and go as individuals and if it was meant to be, later on we'd get back together. we were both very sad, and at first i tried to get her to call it off, but she told me that she wanted to go through with it, so i left her alone, all of this happened over facebook chat because she was too upset to talk to me over the phone

so for the past 3 weeks i;ve been giving her the space that she asked for, i;ve been working on improving myself, i started teaching myself the keyboard(sorta) i've been in the gym, and ive been keeping up wiht my classes, during this time i spent hours researching the best way to get your ex back

eventually i came up with a plan to get her back, after a few more weeks i was going to try and start as friends and build up from there

but yesterday i received a fatal blow when i looked on her facebook page and saw that she was in a relationship with another guy. i was so shocked because she never ever gave a guy another look while we were dating, and i didnt think she d get snap out of it that quickly. while i dont know the new guy, hes not very attractive according to all of her friends and we're exact opposites, basically he's opposite of everything she told me she liked

i asked her about it and i asked her how she could move on so quikcly and she said she was still in love with me and would never get over me but she was trying to move on, as much as it hurt me, i was so nice to her, and wished her well

now i'm lost, todya she put pictures of her up sleepign with the first present that i ever got her, a stuffed bear, thats very symbolic to her, and she still wears the necklace i gave her, i know she misses me, but idk what to think of this new relationship, is it a rebound? is she missing the attention i gave her, and should i wait for her, i love her so much, more than anything, and i know most people would say move on, but im so stuck on this girl that i cant see myself dating anyone else, i know im still young (20) but im in a terrible place right now, i want to know whether i should continue to live my life, and hope that this relationship fails, or should i try and block her out all the way

PLEASEEEE HELP ME!!!

tuck60

The same has just recently happend to me, I have deleted her of my facebook and removed her phone number etc. This is the best way to try and move on.

sadnlostedddd

I know I'm being stubborn, but I like thinking about her, it makes me happy, even though it hurts, and i was doing well before she starting this other guy, now I wonder if our whole relationship she was lying to me

sadnlostedddd

Is this normal?
Sometimes I want to date other girls, and sometimes I get sick thinking about other girls. My ex and I have been talking as friends for the past couple of days.
Out of nowhere her mother called me yesterday and explained to me that I didn't take her out enough while we were dating, basically she felt like we didn't do enough stuff together, and this new person stepped in and started asking her to go out more, and he asked her out and she said yeah. She said she likes him but she doesn't like him to the point that she wants a serious relationship with him. I feel like if I could show her that I've grown up and am able to show her a better time then she'll come back if her current relationship doesn't work out, which optimistically it won't, hopefully, but at the same time, I'm not going to wait on her, if she comes back to me before I'm over her, then we should get back, but at the same time I'm preparing myself for any future relationship that I have.

Is it still okay for us to be friends?

sadnlostedddd

Has anyone felt that when their relationship ended, they'd never find anyone else as beautiful, as smart, as loyal, as their ex, and then as time went on, and they moved on found someone who was more beautiful, smart, loyal, etc?

I wish

You still feel traumatized by the break up. Just give yourself more time to recover. You're in emotional turmoil right now, so let the feelings tone down before you worry about someone else.

As for your ex, stay away from being friends because you're just going to add to the confusion and have false hope, which is going to delay the recovery process.

xoxaprilwine

Yes, of course, when some time passes on and you have allowed for complete detachment things will get easier. Just think how silly it sounds when you say you will never find someone like him or her...maybe you will find better?

Keep your chin up and spend time with family and friends.

sadnlostedddd

I appreciate the advice, definitely not looking for anyone else at the moment, or in the foreseeable future, just something to think about.

As for not being friends with her, a lot of my friends said that it was childish to not want to be friends with her, and after I deleted her off of facebook she sent me a message saying that it was immature and very mean. And I don't want to come off as any of that because I don't really have any negative feelings towards her, so should I continue with NC or LC and keep her off of facebook?

I wish

Threads merged again

Keep her off Facebook. She's the one who sounds immature by telling you that it's mean. You need to recover from this break up and you need to take the necessary steps to do that. Otherwise you're just going to prolong the pain. Now tell me, how's that fair to you?

The fact that she contacted you is exactly why you need to stick to no contact, because her behavior is just going to confuse you more. You need to keep your distance without her influence so that you can see things for a more objective perspective.

Stick with no contact. Here are the rules if you haven't reviewed them already: http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...qs-332732.html

Prillmill

Man, the advice they are giving is good. You can read my recent question.

Tell her straight up... "I am not trying to be difficult, immature, or rude. No matter how I say this it may sound that way but trust me that I am not. Please don't call, text, or email me anymore. This is something I need."

AND DO NOT BE FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK OR ANY SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE

Imabadman

First off, sorry for the loss and pain. I for one have been there.

Now... wrap your mind around the fact that the relationship is over.

Your every post has been about your analysis of her actions and how it means you two are getting back together. You’re relishing delusions and living in denial.

For your own sake look at the reality of the situation. You two broke up. She’s seeing another guy and obviously getting some pleasure out of their interactions. If she really cared about you and the relationship I seriously doubt this would be happening don’t you?? Rebound or not SHE IS SEEING ANOTHER MAN AND ENJOYING HERSELF AND HIM.

I know this hurts… as I said been there, done that more than once. Yeah… yeah… I’ve heard all the stories from others about how, “we’re soul mates”, “meant to be together”, and “there’s nobody else who could ever…”

In my opinion you have two clear choices here… #1 you can keep pining over her reading into her every word and action that you’re soul mates, blah… blah… blah… OR #2 You can take control of your emotional well being and take actions to move on with your life, e.g. drop her from Facebook, quit trying to be her friend, quit stalking, and getting a life.

Do yourself a favor… make the right choice.