So, My ex and I broke up about 2 years ago from about a 2 and a half year relationship. Well of course stupid me decided to try to stay friends with her. she is my best friend in the whole world, and also i am deeply in love with her still. she also tells me that I am her best friend and that she never wants to lose me, anyway from the time we broke up to about a few months ago we were still having sex, bad thing i know. anyway i guess i have been just hoping that things would change over time, and that she would want me back over time. I am so hurt today, anyway this guy she meet the other day at a bar. i guess hes friends with one of my ex's friends. so yeah the other day this guy called my ex's friend to ask for her #, i guess he called her the day before Christmas eve. so on Christmas eve we were hanging out the ex and I and she told me that he called her and asked her to hang out today and go to the show. I am so hurt right now it was truly a reality check. so yeah we talked about it last night and I guess she has no feelings for this guy yet and is going into it with a open head. she told me that he might be a guy and might not be a guy that she can date, she just really doesnt know him and wants to see. i just dont know what to do, i am so sad right now and heart broken. I just feel like im going to lose my best friend and the person I love so much. i think when i hear from her tonight, that if she thinks that she might have feelings for her im just going to end our whole relationship, i know it has to be done. I was hoping so much that i would fiend someone before her to get over her, so that we could stay friends. i just feel like she is my everything and that im losing it all.
DJ, it's time to be a man about it - No more becoming weak and falling into the mud - you have to resist calling her!
I know it's hard man, I know - I've been there, so has everyone who's posting here, but we've all gotten through it, and now it's your turn. You said you're going for NC, now stay true to your word and to yourself. You know deep down, that in the end it will pay off.
Your ex-girl friend is being a b*tch about the whole situation right now and doesn't give a damn about you - you should do the same thing to her just out of pride ; keep your self respect buddy!
Stop crawling back to her and kissing her a$$ like a dog - she doesn't want you, so get up on your feet and be a man about it, and forget that soppy cow. You deserve more!
Hope you understand what I'm telling you ; I'm sure a lot of people here will agree on what I just said.
Take care,-Xm8
really me just reading this has given me the power to say F*** it and not do anything with her if she askes me im doing NC right now i need to thanks. really i feel a lot better now really. so thanks
DJ, I know you want to have a clear conscience by meeting her for the "last time" for a few drinks, but I'm not so sure that's a good idea.
I don't think anyone on this forum is going to tell you it's a good idea, because logically, meeting her is only going to lead to more heart ache. Just imagine you have one too many drinks and then start begging her to come back to you, or something like that. It would totally lower your level of pride.
I'm trying to help you here, so I'm gonna give you my personal opinion, a lesson that I had to learn the hard way :
Every time you contact, or try to contact your ex-girl friend, you lose self-respect. Not only will she respect you less (as if that matters anymore) but in the future, when you remember this period, you will feel bad about yourself and think "what an idiot I was for calling/meeting her".
Not only that, but everytime you speak to her, you're delaying the healing process. Right now she's like a drug for you, and you just keep on going back trying to get a little fix and that's just not gonna cut it. You need to go on for no contact and stay that way.
We keep on telling you it hurts and it's hard, and you agree with us. But if you keep on going back to her, you're just making it harder on yourself. Stop calling her dude, it's for YOUR own good.
And by the way, don't try and kill the pain by getting another chick, you will just complicate things even more for yourself. This is your own personal time, and it must stay that way until you're fully healed.
-Xm8
Btw I'm glad I could help - Remain strong brother.
I agree with XM8, seeing her is not a good idea at all- however th eonly good thing would be is that you will see with your know damm eyes how much she has changed- how you dont know her anymore- that can also give you the strength to start doing the really NC- it is what happened to me.
Well thanks guys im starting the NC now, if she calls me to hang out this weekend im not answering at all, screw her. she really doesnt deserve someone like me anyway who always made time for her and did anything possible to make everything work. when she never did anything. honestly i just felt this way now that she doesnt deserve me at all, so thanks. I believe i have to power now to start NC for good. Here is a secret i dont tell many people i stated a while back that she gets abusive when she drinks, we she hit me in the eye one time when she got so mad and crazy that she gave me a nice back eye, and all i did was to see if she was still awake. so why would i want to be with a person like this. anyway thanks again.
A good vent = good sense of feeling= a form of healing!
Keep going as we all know what it is like and so we do understand how hard the situation is. The important thing is you will come out of this situation as a BETTER person- that matters.
yeah she was not a cool person at all do go out drinking with she drank to get obliterated, and she would always black out and when she did she would go totally insane. i mean one time we were at this bar with her sisters and this one guy started hitting on her which whatever, but then he tried to get her to go home with him well i was right there when all of this was happining, i told him to cut it out and she is totally drunk so just chill. well it happend a few more times and the last time he tried she went ape S*** on me. well her sisters saw this and one of them made her come with them to go back to this house we were at, her one sister drove home with me in the car back to the place. well her sister and I talked for maybe 30 min in the driveway when we got there so i could vent. well when i got inside she went insane and started yelling at me to stop f***ing her sister in the car and all this stupid stuff. the next day she remebered nothing, of course. she is nuts i really dont know why i always put up with any of this. there are so many more stories like this i could write a book.
BTW this new guy thats in her life i guess all they do is go to bars, which i think is kinda funny because he will see her true colors sometime. But oh well i dont care anymore honestly i feel better now. i feel like this blanket of stress is lifted from me really. so thank you guys. I guess i just needed to get all that out and realize how much of a Bisnatch she was.
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