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I've been dating this girl for about 5 yrs. I met her when I was 29 and she was 36. I took thing very slow to make sure she was the one.In the 5 yrs I have broken up with her twice and she has broken up with me at least 5-6 time she wanted to get married rite away I wanted to buy a house by myself to see what it was like to live on my own. That pissed her off and has been an roller coaster ride since then. When we where together I did alot for her and her son.We didn't spend alot of time together but we love each other very much.I do know she didn't cheat on me.But all the times she broke up and came back she said she was miserable without me and like wise with me.And her son talked about me when we were broken up and he missed me.I did make her mad sometimes.I bought a ring for her last march but gave it to her in August 2006. At this time I was going threw some very series back problems (in pain Alot) and worried about slowing down at work. So I wasn't jumping up and down when a proposed to her. She did like to spend money and didn't do alot for me because of the house.But she is very good person. The first break up I did say some bad things about her to my friends and some don't like her because of that and her breaking up with me alot. I spent alot of money on the ring and gave her $2000.00 for new boobs in Jan. We got in a huge fight a couple of days after she got them done.It's been about six weeks since we e-mailed each other. In the email she said I broke up with her witch is not true. Then with some other excuses for breaking up with me she said I never loved her If I did I woud have been excited about the wedding planning the future telling my friend rite away that we got engaged I told them As I saw them.Her ex husband cheated on her and did alot of thing to hurt her. But also told me That she was worried about him because he was a drug addict and was scared that he was going to die. She also said in one of the e-mails she loved me more then her Ex husband.She refuse to give the ring back and found out a couple of days ago from my sisters from what my ex's mom told them is she feels that we will be getting back together and I saw her mom about 3 weeks ago that she just comes home from work and lays around. She is a very busy person when shes happy. I guess what my question is she coming back and is she using the ring as away to control me. I love this woman and her son very much. I do know she loves me very much. She also said in e-mail I don't think we can give each other what we want. Even after all the break ups I cant get her out of my mind. I did talk to a free psyhic and she believes we will be getting back together. She did say alot about ex that was true.I just need to know thats why I called. But I guess until she does come back then I will belive it. She signed up for match.com about 3 weeks after she broke up with me. Then I signed up about 3 weeks after her not really to find somebody but to let her read and see my profile. After she saw it it took her about a week to go back on.And believe it or not what we are looking for in a person from are profiles are same. I don't know if anybody believe in the signs when you are born but she is a Aries and I am a virgo and are personalities from what they say on them are 95% accurate. She did say once its not if I could live with you rather If I could live without you. So if some one can give me some advise or if you think she will be back again.Because I do want her back again?
Location: Now hailing from St. Petersburg, Florida US of A, North America, planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.
Posts: 2,267
As far as the ring goes, I do think she's using it to control you. I think you should demand it back or sue her for the cost of the ring. You gave that to her in exchange for her hand in marriage and she didn't come through.
Second, I can't exactly tell you what's going on in her head but she obviously goes from high to low and back again. It just seems like she can't make a complete decision I guess I don't see how you can stay with someone who wants you then doesn't then does.
I realize you want her back so the only thing I would suggest is quit talking to her for a period of time and see if she contacts you but don't wait forever on her.
Whew what a lot to think about. I am unclear how long you've been broken up and can only guess about 6 weeks, and she hasn't talked to you since. If this is the case then you should get your ring back, and leave her alone and move on. The rest is drama and let me guess, not enough communication or you were not very good at it. After 5 years , you should almost be able to read her mind in my opinion. some body has issues they need to resolve.
It was her birthday Fri 23 and I e-mailed her and was joking around with me and we e-mailed each oyher back today. But no answer about gettingt back she said thanks for caring about her and her son.
Hello, I read your question. I also read your private message to me about the same situation.
First I would like to ask how old are you and how old is she?
In what you have written there sounds to be a lot of immaturity. Immaturity and wanting to be physically enhanced. Wanting to have someone that is physically appealing especially somebody with money.
You do understand that the relationship you talk about does not sound like a relationship. For me it sounds like something that is convienient for her and her son. Your being used to be able to take care of her and her son.
Her obsession with looks, boobs and money worries me a whole lot.
Your reacting to everything she says and does and even you admit you do not spend quality time together so that tells me that the relationship is not that strong. You might know of her for the past five years but it does not seem like it has lots of substance.
The immaturity is not just her problem from the sounds of it but you are lacking maturity as well. You my friend are out seeking advice from pychics. Pychics may or may not be real. I do believe there are some that have gifts but just my personal feelings and thoughts from what is written by you is that it is OVER. That there needs to be an end to the madness that both you and her have been giving each other.
Another thing is basing your relationship on a compatibility through horoscopes. I have to admit at the beginning my wife and myself looked at that stuff, also else where. It was immature of us. We should know and of course we learned that we base it on how we treat each other, we base it on communication and love with each other. We base it on being best friends with each other. That we can not control everything. That all we should do is enjoy our time together and grow with each other. Not worry so much about the future which we can not predict. Just take each day, at a time as it comes.
There are paths in lives we all have to chose for ourselves. DO NOT BASE IT ON PYCHICS, OR ASTROLOGY.
You need to base it on what makes you happy, what you think is best for yourself. Decisions that you have to make for yourself. You can not base it on others, you can definatly get opinions of others and thoughts. It stops there.
THE FINAL STEP, WHETHER YOU DECIDE IT IS OVER OR NOT. DO NOT BASE YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON WHETHER SHE WANTS TO COME BACK TO YOU OR NOT.
YOU NEED TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. YOU NEED TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF TO ALLOW THIS OR NOT ALLOW THIS. TO MOVE ON OR NOT TO MOVE ON.
MY PERSONAL OPINION,
Is that this will always be a problem. Your always going to go through termoil. This should be used as a learning lesson. That it is not worth going back and forth. Hoping for somebody to come back that are just playing head games with you and your falling for every single one of them.
Stop tormenting yourself and let this person go for good. That is my advice.
I've been doing alot of thinking and you and every one is rite about this. I don't want to admit this but I always felt she called or came over to my house when she wanted something or something done. I AM going to let her go for good now and move on. It sounds silly but I still do love her and miss her and cant stop thinking about her but time will heel this 5 year roller coaster ride. And our age s are, she just turned 41 last week and I will be 35 in August.
You can not just stop feeling love. You have that feeling and it does not sound silly. Roller coaster rides, some of them turn out to be worth it. There is always ups and downs but this person was treating you like a door mat. You were only good to her as long as you bought everything for her and took care of her son. So I would say you are better off. Age does not matter. You, one day will find somebody that is more down to earth and less about physical and money.
You can not just stop feeling love. You have that feeling and it does not sound silly. Roller coaster rides, some of them turn out to be worth it. There is always ups and downs but this person was treating you like a door mat. You were only good to her as long as you bought everything for her and took care of her son. So I would say you are better off. Age does not matter. You, one day will find somebody that is more down to earth and less about physical and money.
Best wishes to you.
Joe
March 27 I stopped e-mailing her. But did leave her a message that her son was 7 year old son was at school and no one there to pick him up and for her to call someone to pick him up. And I didn't want to because I don't want to give him the wrong idea and said Bye. I said it fast and to the point. I recevied an e-mail say thanks for looking out for him and wanted to have me drop off her sons bed to her. I told her that would be find and let me know when you and her son would not be their so I could drop it off. I just hope she's not up to her old tricks again. She could of have her sons 19 yr old step brother call. But when she does replay back. I have written a email saying I will always love you but I am moving on and to leave me alone for ever. I was doing so good today not missing her and then she emails me. I know this is for the best but now It's like I'm back at square one again. And this is how she got her foot back into my life.
Make sure she gets all her stuff back and move forward.
I just e-mailed her and said just that. I want to say thank you for your help I was upset all day today because she did e-mail me and I feel alot better now! Noing their are people out their who care. Thank you my friend. And I will keep you informed on the hole situation.
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