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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   an ex coming back

 
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 10:41 AM
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an ex coming back

hey guys, sorry i havent posted in a while, ive been really busy with school and work. for those of you who dont remember, a little while back i was pretty messed up about my girlfriend of 2 years dumping me a little while after she started living at school (even though it was only like an hour away). turns out, like many of you said, there was another guy and i took it pretty hard because we loved each other so much blah blah and all that good stuff haha.

anyway i had been seeing this new girl for a while and we made it official a couple weeks ago. i like her alot and shes a lot bettter than my ex in a lot of ways (more fun, better personality, better looking, not always misrable like my ex was, etc.) well recently when my ex came home from school she started contacting me. (before that, i had not talked to her since march and it was only because i was dropping something off ) it started out as little comments on-line, which i would answer back to not be a jerk. it kept getting more frequent and recently i got an e-mail from her saying that she missed me and being able to talk to me and missed being my friend. she wants me to call her so we can "catch-up". this was about 4 days ago and i havent responded. the way i see it is she knew i was with the other person but when she came home it didn't really hit her and she thought i'd be there for her again. i alrerady talked to wildcat about it and he told me she wants what she cant have, which i totally agree with. she keeps apologizing for hurting me and said "i'm sorry for what i did. i have my problems but that's the way i am".

not gonna lie, i still have feelings for her but there's no way i'm getting back together with her. i'm not going to let what happened with my ex ruin what i have now. but i still feel bad fo her. i hear from her freinds she's pretty bad off. does anyone think it would be a good idea to call her and just catch-up with her or should i just ignore what she sent me. we did get along pretty good while we were together and she was a pretty good friend and i think its been long enough, so would it be a good idea to try and become friends with her again?

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Old Jul 5, 2006, 11:15 AM   #2  
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I just hope she isn't just trying to 'see if she still has you'.

You also GAVE her a powerful gift most women want and need....the gift of 'missing you'. She may have realized, AFTER the initial 'puppy love' 3 month period with the new guy.....what a great guy you really are and how the new guy isn't so great.

Only you know if you should become friends with her. ALSO, how would you current gal feel about this? I might not be too happy about this myself. It's good to be friends with ex's if you can.....but what are her real intentions?

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CaptainForest agrees: I agre
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 11:44 AM   #3  
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Out of respect for your new g/f I would stay away from any drama or conflict with your ex. You could be honest and see how the new g/f feels and go from there, but for now given your history with the ex I'd leave the past in the past especially as Wildcat has said do you really know the intentions of the ex? Save yourself the headaches for now!!

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Wildcat21 agrees: Yes - stick with the new - gal - remember your comparison list and all the great things with the new gal.
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 01:59 PM   #4  
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I agree ... You don't want to get wrapped up in the drama.

I would not call her. Reply to her email just saying you've found someone else and with the emotional strain she put you through, it's just best to keep some distance. You can communicate via e-mail, but I wouldn't go calling her or run off to see her.

She made choices ... bad ones. She'll have to learn from her choices.

You've moved on to a happier place. Enjoy the happier place.

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Wildcat21 agrees: Great addition! "emotional strain she put you through" - EXACTLY!!!! - I know she did do this. I think the response to the e-mail thing is the right thin to do.
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 03:46 PM   #5  
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i got home from work tonight and i signed online and she startin iming me asking all these questions about what i've been doing and about my family and everything. i answered but i really felt like she had no right to ask. yea sure i'd wanna be friends with her but i kept thinking after what she did to me she really doesnt have any right to ask me all this, i dont owe her anything. i wish i still didnt have feelings for her in the back of my mind or feel bad for her so i could just be like.... look you left my life, stay gone. should i tell the girl im with now about this or would that make it worse? i guess im still just to much of a nice guy to tell the ex to shut up

im not gonna let it break up my current relationship but when you say i dont know her true intentions, do you mean she could just be trying to break us up out of spite?

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talaniman agrees: You seem to know what to do already
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 03:57 PM   #6  
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just put her on ignore.

best bet is to keep her out of your life.
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 04:00 PM   #7  
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Why speculate?? Do you know that there are females out here that can go from 0 to witch in 2 seconds and reek havoc on your life. While you look around with a dumb look on your face they have already riped out your heart and moved on. Didn't your daddy tell you why you don't play with fire???
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 04:56 PM   #8  
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with all the negative comments you made about her i think you should just leave it alone. you sound happy with this new person so why jeopordise that.
isnt it great how the wheel of power eventually turns. it seems to happen so often. this is a good example of how moving on and getting on with things can change the whole complexion of the break up.
the roles of dumper and dumpee can change so quickly.
no longer are you the dumpee. in effect you have become the dumper.
im sure youll make the right decision that is best for you.
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 07:18 PM   #9  
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I would leave her to her own devices. She doesn't sound like she's just wanting to be friends and to me it sounds like she feels she's in competition with your new girl. Don't let her get the upper hand with questions and if you do still chose to talk to her tell her all about your new gf. It will let her know that your not up for grabs in a polite but firm manner. If she keeps it up your going to have to put her in her place. She sounds jelous and remorseful of what she gave up and is trying to feel you out to see if she can get you back. The more rope you give her the more she's going to hang you with. My advice is to be polite but very, VERY closed to her.
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Old Jul 5, 2006, 07:37 PM   #10  
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Ever see a match burn twice? LOL

Of not, well then ... you're about to . . .
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