an ex coming back

lost?? · Jul 5, 2006, 11:41 AM

hey guys, sorry i havent posted in a while, ive been really busy with school and work. for those of you who dont remember, a little while back i was pretty messed up about my girlfriend of 2 years dumping me a little while after she started living at school (even though it was only like an hour away). turns out, like many of you said, there was another guy and i took it pretty hard because we loved each other so much blah blah and all that good stuff haha.

anyway i had been seeing this new girl for a while and we made it official a couple weeks ago. i like her alot and shes a lot bettter than my ex in a lot of ways (more fun, better personality, better looking, not always misrable like my ex was, etc.) well recently when my ex came home from school she started contacting me. (before that, i had not talked to her since march and it was only because i was dropping something off ) it started out as little comments on-line, which i would answer back to not be a jerk. it kept getting more frequent and recently i got an e-mail from her saying that she missed me and being able to talk to me and missed being my friend. she wants me to call her so we can "catch-up". this was about 4 days ago and i havent responded. the way i see it is she knew i was with the other person but when she came home it didn't really hit her and she thought i'd be there for her again. i alrerady talked to wildcat about it and he told me she wants what she cant have, which i totally agree with. she keeps apologizing for hurting me and said "i'm sorry for what i did. i have my problems but that's the way i am".

not gonna lie, i still have feelings for her but there's no way i'm getting back together with her. i'm not going to let what happened with my ex ruin what i have now. but i still feel bad fo her. i hear from her freinds she's pretty bad off. does anyone think it would be a good idea to call her and just catch-up with her or should i just ignore what she sent me. we did get along pretty good while we were together and she was a pretty good friend and i think its been long enough, so would it be a good idea to try and become friends with her again?

lost?? · Jul 6, 2006, 08:52 AM

yea i know what you guys mean. i wouldnt get back with her anyway because as soon as she goes back to school shes going to do what she did again. i still feel really bad for her because it seems like shes pretty messed up but i know what i have in front of me now and it's way better than taking a chance with my ex again. if she really only wants to be friends i'll try because i don't like to burn any bridges and i'd like to leave it on friendly terms. but if she mentions anything about getting back together i'll just be like look i cant do that right now even if i wanted to. i know i'd have to make it clear that its only friends and if she wants anything more to look somewhere else.

..... also i think its pretty funny how one of my ex's friends said that she said it's not fair that i have a girl friend now 7 months after we broke up...... yet she was seeing someone a week after she ended our two year relationship, shes ridiculous

Cassie · Jul 6, 2006, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Why speculate?? Do you know that there are females out here that can go from 0 to witch in 2 seconds and reek havoc on your life. While you look around with a dumb look on your face they have already riped out your heart and moved on. Didn't your daddy tell you why you don't play with fire???

Great, I love that, you are sooooo right

DJ 'H' · Jul 6, 2006, 09:28 AM

At the end of the day you have to do what feels right - your gut instinct will be telling you right now whats right and whats wrong. But I personally don't think you should go backwards. She hurt you and now expects forgiveness and to have you back at the click of her fingers because the other guy left and she has noone - she did that to herself and it's not your responsibility to pick up the pieces.

Let her stand on her own two feet and sort her life out I say!! You have a new gilrfriend and are moving forward - don't let her drag you backwards right to where you started. Cut the thread and set yourself free once and for all!!

Cassie · Jul 6, 2006, 09:32 AM

What are the feelings you still have for her? Are they feelings right here, right now kinda feelings, or feelings you used to feel in the past? You say this new girl is more fun, better personality, prettier, not miserable. You say your X's friends tell you things, well, that tells me she has friends, so you need not worry about her. She has friends to worry about her. Think about it, would you be sad if you lost your present girlfriend? If so, you need to cut off all communication with your X. It is great to get along with your X's, but that is when you happen upon them, you visit. I think emailing someone all of the time is the same as talking on the phone with them. Would you like you present girlfriend to be emailing her X boyfriend. Some women find it a challenge to play with guys. You have someone new, she will play with you to get you interested and probably dump you again. It helps her ego. If she wasn't up front with you before she probably won't be again. My guess is someone dumped her and now she's goin' fishin'. Cut the bait before you are left with no one.

Just my take on the subject, don't know the girl.

Wildcat21 · Jul 6, 2006, 09:34 AM

"..... also i think its pretty funny how one of my ex's friends said that she said it's not fair that i have a girl friend now 7 months after we broke up...... yet she was seeing someone a week after she ended our two year relationship, shes ridiculous" - more crap from a mixed up gal.

She THOUGHT she was the only one in your life. Too funny - reality is that, hey, there ACTUALLY other women who might just like you and you just might like them.

Wildcat21 · Jul 7, 2006, 08:56 AM

Ahhhhh Chery - EXACTLY! Great point. She didn't care about your feelings at all.........just remember how miserable you felt - I know, we talked about it.

We didn't really address that part - the old gal is a TAKER!!!

BUT, also remember some of things I told you on how to get them back - they do work IF yo udo it right - PROBLEM is by that time, do you want them back? Usually not.

lost?? · Jul 7, 2006, 09:38 AM

youre right cherry, she really didnt care and if she did she didn't show it. and she was def a taker. i'm still pretty pissed at myself that i let myself get so bad over her haha but i guess it happens to everyone once right? i'm just going to go on with my life not looking back. whatever happens happens, i just know that i can deal with it now. thanks everyone for everything !

Wildcat21 · Jul 7, 2006, 09:55 AM

You never want a TAKER - ever. Huge red flag.

Even if you DID get back together - FIRST you would need some serious talks and put her in her place. You DO NOT want to go back to where you were before - the 'puppy dog' boy friend. Tell you're not the 'old lost' - you wont put up with her crap anymore.

Hey Lost - it happens to the best of them.

BobbyC · Jul 7, 2006, 01:26 PM

lost??

I would do one of two things, because the longer you put this off, the more headaches you will experience. Tell her the truth and that you now have a new girl in your life. If you want to stay friends with her that's up to you. But I would not even consider that. Probably because I would feel bad intentions on her side, especially if you tell her you have someone else and her new boyfriend did not live up to her expectations. Have you maybe though that maybe she is testing you out? Watch out and Good Luck!!



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