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    livelovelaugh87's Avatar
    livelovelaugh87 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 15, 2010, 02:30 PM
    Ex boyfriend still talks to me even though he has a new girlfriend
    Okay, well here goes nothing. Well, my ex and I were engaged, he broke up with me, and two weeks later he and I got back together again. Two weeks after that, he was back to his old habbits again. So, I broke up with him. We went through a messy break-up. It will be 2 months for the break up, and he still contacts me everyday pretty much. We saw each other in person twice to talk things out, he told me he was hanging out with someone, but then I later find out, he is with her. He said he tells her that he loves her, but he isn't sure that he does. He told me that he has feelings for me and for her, and is confused on things. He kept stating he was going to leave me alone, which was okay with me. BUT he continues to talk to me. He has seen a photo of me with another guy and now is assuming that I am with him. He asked me to go fishing with him, and golfing with him. But he has a new girlfriend? I am quite confused on this tactic. I also posted on a social network that I was hanging out with a guy friend of mine, he also gave me a guilt trip there. He even said that "If in the future we get back together I want to take things slower because we were rushed." So, I am pretty sure that I am on his string for when things go bad with this. Oh yes, he is 24 with a 17 year old. I am confused, does he know this is a fling or does he know it won't work out with her, is that why he is keeping me around? I'm confused and want answers! Lol.
    JK191's Avatar
    JK191 Posts: 151, Reputation: 31
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Apr 15, 2010, 04:13 PM

    My advice would just to go no contact and avoid him.

    You broke up with him. Twice.

    Don't think it'll work even if he's having a fling with another woman. You probably just want him because you can't get him right now.

    Best go NC right away.
    livelovelaugh87's Avatar
    livelovelaugh87 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 15, 2010, 04:26 PM

    He broke up with me first, and then I second. Yes, the nc is the way to go. Haha. It's hard though. Is this a method of "keeping her there just in case things don't work out with this one?"
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Apr 15, 2010, 08:50 PM

    Yes it is with a bit of player player thrown in. He is probably doing the same thing with the young girl too. Filling her head with nonsense while he tries to cheat with you.

    Why do you allow him to play you like that?? Its obvious what he is doing.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #5

    Apr 15, 2010, 09:07 PM
    Get away and tell him to leave you alone... He is a manipulator:rolleyes:
    livelovelaugh87's Avatar
    livelovelaugh87 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 16, 2010, 08:07 AM

    Wow! I really never thought of that stuff. I guess it's because you love someone you think they wouldn't do that to you. Thanks guys for the information! Looks like I will be not contacting him for quite some time.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #7

    Apr 16, 2010, 12:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by livelovelaugh87 View Post
    wow! i really never thought of that stuff. i guess it's because you love someone you think they wouldn't do that to you. thanks guys for the information! looks like i will be not contacting him for quite some time.
    Good for you!
    livelovelaugh87's Avatar
    livelovelaugh87 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 19, 2010, 04:02 PM

    He attempted to call me twice on Saturday. I did answer however the second time, he told me about his trout fishing experience.. he is weird.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #9

    Apr 19, 2010, 04:05 PM

    Yes he is!





    Tell him kindly to get lost
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #10

    Apr 20, 2010, 12:04 AM

    Then I suggest you ignore his other 'fishing expeditions' and never take his calls again.

    Go no contact and stick to it.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #11

    Apr 20, 2010, 05:23 AM

    Walk away from this guy, he's a classic player and is trying to have his cake and eat it too.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #12

    Apr 20, 2010, 05:43 AM

    I agree... Leave him alone.
    livelovelaugh87's Avatar
    livelovelaugh87 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 20, 2010, 05:22 PM

    Thanks everyone! I appreciate everything you guys have told me! I wish I would have known this before I got into the damned relationship with him the very first time!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #14

    Apr 20, 2010, 05:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by livelovelaugh87 View Post
    thanks everyone! i appreciate everything you guys have told me! i wish i would of known this before i got into the damned relationship with him the very first time!



    That's what second chances are sweetie. We learn by our mistakes and it makes us a better person. Wait and see. Hugs and Blessings:)
    danjor's Avatar
    danjor Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Nov 9, 2010, 04:01 PM
    Although I was never a fiancé, I did break it off with this guy I was dating several times... even tore him a new booty-hole on the last two occasions, but he just takes it and even tries to use my verbal uprisings as a means to get his "johnson" rising. He says to get everything out of my system and that it turns him on. He contacts me daily with "good morning" and "sweet dreams". Ok whatever floats your boat...

    As I reflect on the relationship, it is pretty sad yet comical... Went from associate (new each other from high school), to date, to girlfriend, to friend-with-benefits (FWB) and now he is trying down grade me back to associate with a booty call option. Also, went from Fbook, to phone calls, to text messages, to email purgatory... see the correlations? Now that I am stuck in email hell with him, he prefers this method of communication. An excuse to really delay his daily musings, which have irked me and still come in my in-box no matter how much I tell him to "f" off.

    I recently asked if he enjoyed the box communication and he said yes. He also said that it has been some time (over a month) since he has been inside my "box". I replied "The box office is closed". Guys that continue to waste their time don't really see it that way... they see their tiny communication efforts as a means to gain re-entry into the heart and vagina of women they know harbor feelings for them. I've been what they call "circle dating" since our break and I encourage more women to do so. It not only keeps you busy and socialized, but you don't have time to focus on the "what ifs"... only on the now. It also keeps you in check with being drawn in sexually by each man. If I find I like one man more than the other, I find balance when the other tries to make moves on me even if I am highly attracted to him. This is what happened with me and my ex. I wasn't seeing anyone else and he had "all" my attention (of which he did not work to deserve... this is my fault) We of course moved too fast (I'm sure this was in his cards) and I didn't set clear boundaries for myself. Boundaries should only matter to you and should never be compromised because someone else doesn't like how high, thick or wide they are.

    My ex and I jumped into a sexual relationship that I (of course) wanted to to move into commitment because my heart became vested. Once I told him about my dating others after our break and that I was no longer interested in even speculating about a relationship with him, he threw a fit. He then tried to swing the victim pendulum on his side by saying that I had been dating other men the entire time. How dillusional! Sadly he is now trying to dangle the sex carrot in front of me to see if I will chase and try to bite. Mind you he withheld sex or at least kept the horizontal rumble opportunity on his terms while we were actually spending more time together (i.e. going out on dates) If I do bite, it will validate whatever it is in his mind about me (and likely all along). >>>>> How dare I date other men and since I slept with him (and so early on) I MUST be sleeping with all of them. On the contrary! He probably needs me to sleep with him one more time to validate his suspicions and further encourage his own belief as to why I am not worthy of his commitment. Isn't dating fun??
    jazzalee's Avatar
    jazzalee Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Dec 26, 2010, 11:05 PM
    I will tell you from now... he will never stop calling you I'm going through the same thing lucky for me I have a man who is madly in love with me and I'm not going to blow that anytime soon... jus wish he'd stop calling/texting me... try dating someone else do... something you wanted to do but never got the chance to.. u will get through this... best of luck.:)

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