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New Member
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Mar 6, 2007, 03:35 PM
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Ex-boyfriend of four years that I still love
Ok so I was with my, now, exboyfriend for four meaningful amazing years and just recently (about three months in counting) he broke up with me. His reasonings were that I didn't tell him the whole truth about things, this is not fully true. I never cheated on him nor did anything of the sort, there was about two cases where I didn't tell him one detail and later on said something about it... he thought that was me lying. I am still in love with him and falling for him more and more everyday but I don't know where to go from here. I broke up with him about a year ago because we were doing long distance but as soon as I did he came running back and we fell back in love ignoring the distance factor. I don't know if this is his sly way of getting back at me or if he really doesn't want me anymore.
I have tried so many things with this all. We still talk... a lot. I don't start most of the conversations. When we are talking he will talk about our past and good times yet he flirts with me and still asks me to hang out. When I was fed up with this constant confusion and I started ignoring his calls and text's he started talking to me like he "has more time for a relationship now then before" and "that he doesnt know if he meant for us to be just friends." This lasted for about a week until I fell right back in and as soon as I did he made me feel so stupid by reassuring me that he never said we would get back together. I just don't get it. I am still in love with him and he says that he has feelings. I have given him space and he comes back. He tells me how he doesn't want to be with another girl or even hook up with another one but then I don't get why he is doing this to me? Is because he likes having the power? Am I being stupid and reading into this wrong? Is is a waste of time even though I love him so much? Please help me. I am having such a hard time... still trying to not cry and feel better about myself. Thank you.
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Junior Member
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Mar 6, 2007, 03:57 PM
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It sounds like he still cares for you but needs a short break to deal with the things that has happened. Keep up good spirits and be open minded, don't let him know you jump at the chance to get him back or that you need him if you feel like he's toying with you. If you do this you'll see soon if he was being true and just confused. Good luck,
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Ultra Member
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Mar 6, 2007, 04:06 PM
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Lots going on here... since there was no cheating, lying, Doesn't sound like there was any drugs or alcohol.
How old are you?
Sounds like most of the trust is in tact. Respect - which is good.
I do think there is a great chance for oyu to be together, but...
Old saying...
People Want What They Can't Have. Always!
Since he is being stubborn over this, AND you can NEVER convince him to be with you
He needs to miss you. You need to pull back. Being there all the time and talking a lot - doesn't help you at actually. It hurts matters - he HAS YOU!!
I HIGHLY recommend reading the free articles at this website - scroll to the bottom... GREAT, great insite...
Even if you started causually dating that might bring him back.
Love Tactics - Love Tactics Home
Please, please read them.
It may be as simple as he sees you moving on.
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Senior Member
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Mar 6, 2007, 04:22 PM
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It might be a trust issue, it might not. Either case, he needs to leave you alone and you need to stop behaving like a yo-yo. If you don't show self-respect, he won't respect you either. Let him know that since he never said you two would get back together, you don't have time for maybe's. You don't have to be mean, just firm, with no exceptions. No emails, texts, calls, letters, nothing. You have to give yourself more importance than that. While you're at it, take a long hard look at why you didn't disclose all factual information to him? Was it that bad? Is he the type to over react? If so, are you sure you even want him back? Take advantage of this time apart and get yourself and your thoughts together. Concentrate on your future, not your past. Keep yourself busy with constructive things, not just hanging out doing useless stuff.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 6, 2007, 04:24 PM
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Mon - perfect!!
If she wants to be with him in the future... cut him OFF now.
It's what I was trying to say.
People Want What They Can't Have - always!!
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New Member
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Mar 6, 2007, 06:45 PM
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First of all. Thank you (all) very much for responding. I really appreciate the help yet I'm still left with one question: if I leave him along (totally) and he comes back for me (not saying he will) and I would like to be with him again, how long do I make him wait?
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New Member
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Mar 6, 2007, 08:00 PM
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Thanks for helping with my problem, I think he is definatley taking you for granted. If you make him feel that he is losing you. If you make him feel that you have moved on, maybe even date another guy. He might come back. Remember right now he is confused as to what he wants (or at least I was). If he experiences what life is like without you, then it may become clear to him as to what he wants (YOU!) Good luck :)
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New Member
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Mar 6, 2007, 08:07 PM
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Thank you very much and keep me up to date on your situation. Also please ask me anything about it and I'll help as much as I can!
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Ultra Member
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Mar 7, 2007, 04:30 AM
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There is no time limit to when he will return. All you can do is move on with your life.
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Expert
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Mar 7, 2007, 11:23 AM
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After 4 glorious years what made the communication break down so bad nobody knows what to do to work on the problems that a rise in a relationship? If there is a break to be taken it should be agreed on, and have a time for you both to catch your breathe, and think about the next move otherwise you'll never get to the point of wanting to work together for a common goal so what's the point in beating a dead horse. Negotiate a resonable break, with the rules clear and spelled out.
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New Member
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Mar 9, 2007, 04:03 PM
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You told me to post on your page about video games, but I posted it on my page, so I could give everyone more insite on my topic.
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New Member
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Mar 12, 2007, 10:50 PM
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How is the situation? Any progress? Did you ignore him?
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