At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
My ex bf broke up with me about a year ago. He said he loves me but wasn't in love with me. 6 months later he started going out with a girl that he was crazy about. Over the year we had no contact. A few days ago he called me and said he made a mistake by letting me go and that i was the best thing to happen to him. He got played by the other girl. It's been 2 months since she left him. Unfortunately im still in love with him. He wants us to be friends and wants to see if maybe he can love me the way i love him. Is he just taking advantage of my weakness for him? Am i being unfair to myself by letting him back in my life? Is it really stupid of me to hope that maybe this time around he'll love me?
Yes, unfortunately he is probably using you. Why now? Why is he willing to give you the time and energy he should have before? I'll tell you what I think. This woman he was "crazy about" has dumped him and now he needs a cusion to fall on. And that's where you come in. Whenever something like that happens to us, we either become a recluse, or we try to rebound. And that's what's happening . "He's willing"? As soon as he finds another girl like this other one, he's off. It's going to be like a horse race. In my opinion, he is most definitely using you. He's taking advantage of your good nature and love for him, and he should be ashamed. HE doesn't want to be alone and that's all this is. I hope you will have the strength to turn him down.
What are you going to do? Tell him no thanks, that you don't want to get hurt again, and used in the meanwhile.
You need to surround yourself with the people you love for protection and help.
I think he s attempting to use you as a rebound here.I d stay away from this-you re not over him yet and it sounds like a big red flag for more heartbreak.our exes are exes for a reason.Leave this-he s not what you need in your life.
hes probably feeling let down and hurt by the other girl.and what better way to boost his ego and show her she can be replaced easily!
thats where you come in..
dont be a fool for this man,you are not his mammy,nor his blankie,tell to grow up and leave you the hell alone,because your busy being happy.
tell him to move on,he lost his chance..bye bye baby.
Yeah he's not even offering me a relationship. I told him that i feel like im being used for him to get over her. He said he is over her. And that if he really wanted to use someone, there are plenty of other girls to choose from so he wouldnt need to come back to me.he wants to be in my life as a friend and see where it can go. I just feel like an option. I see what you guys are saying. There's no guarantee that he will feel the same way about me so i'll probably be holding onto false hopes. The heartache isn't worth it and i really don't need his friendship. The only thing that's holding me back is my love for him. Why can't i be stronger? I've already lived 1 year without him.
You would be foolish to make a decision like this based solely on feelings. Rationale would tell you that he comes hopping back into your life when he feels lonely. He made ZERO attempt to contact you while he was dating this other girl, so why all the sudden this new resurgence of feelings?
It isn't fair to just be "friends" while you are still in love with him. I also wonder what his idea of "friends" is, as I am sure it includes sex and all the other stuff without the attachment on his part. Seems like a cool set up for him, but a raw deal for you.
Is he just taking advantage of my weakness for him? Am i being unfair to myself by letting him back in my life? Is it really stupid of me to hope that maybe this time around he'll love me?
Yes, yes and yes. Unfortunately, you're his 'plan B.' Is that really how you want to be treated, as a backup? So things didn't work out with his "first choice" so he falls back on you? Not a good deal in my opinion. Steer clear of it.
It's not him using you. It's you allowing him back into your life.
You already closed the book on this guy, why open it again? How long will he stick around this time? You don't want to be his safety net. How long do you think he will stick around before he finds someone else again? Too many insecurity issues.
If you really care about him that much and you want to give him a chance, he's constantly going to be on a short leesh. The trust level between the two of you is already so thin, it can break anytime. Why put yourself through this again?
I don't thinks he's necessarily TRYING to use you, as much as he's on the rebound and he knows how you felt/ feel about him. His ex played him and he knows you're safe and wouldn't do that. If you really do want him in your life, keep him as just a friend for as long as you can. See if he still thinks he feels that way after a while. give him more time to heal.
Linear Mode
