So my bf of 9mths broke up with me 1 mth ago. He said its bc i pushed him too far n didnt give him the "guy time" he kept asking for. Ill admit i did get mad when he wanted to go out with the boys but he kinda broke my trust by texting his ex. He said she meant nothing to him so i let it go. Throughout our whole relationship he told me i was one n that he wanted me to be the mother of his kids, we were even gonna move in together in july. Now he said hes second guessing everything. I did all the bad stuff like crying n begging but i let it go n he kept texting me he missed me n stuff.

We went out for my bday in April he talked about getting back but he said he wants to take it slow. I agreed but everything became completelty on his terms. Since the breakup we've only gone like 2 days without talking him being the one to always text me. I went to jersey for 2 days n didnt respond to any of his texts. When i got back he screamed at me saying he thought i was dead n that i was playing games with him. He said he thought we were getting back n that his feelings were starting to come back for me but after the whole jersey thing he said he lost them again. He said it seems like i dont even care bout the breakup bc ive been doing all these things with my friends n stuff. Ive been doing that to show him that i have my own life n wont smother him anymore I even told him that. He said he loves me but its too stressful to talk to me so he thinks we shouldnt talk anymore. I agreed n left.

The next night he called me 18 times at like 2 am I knew he was drunk n i did nt answer .The next day he apologized for calling. Sunday he text me again n asked how my weekend was I told him it was fine n he said hes glad i answered. He said he would call me after softball but it wasent till like 12 n i was asleep. The next day i didnt text him he text me again n i missed it. So today he texts me if u dont wanna talk i understand but ignoring me is rude told him i was just busy n sorry hes like whatever ill talk to u some time. Why is he doing this? Hes the one who said its best that we dont talk but now hes mad that i wont answer his texts n stuff. Once i show him any kind of interest he pulls away. I just dont get it. Do you think he wants to get back with me or is he just playing mind games. I try no contact but he cant even go 2 days without talking to me. He even said he knows he gonna regret his choice. Sorry for the long post im just so confused. I know i need to let go but I dont wanna if theres any chance of getting back with him

JBeaucaire

You're EX has a false idea of what communication is. He sends texts because pressing SEND feels like he's communicated with you. And you allow it. He puts you on the defensive the next time you interact over TEXT MESSAGES, and you allow it.

There is nothing to argue about here. Texts are not meaningful methods of communication. Further, his immaturity allows him to get "pre-angry" with you using them as a basis. If you're seriously going to date this guy (you called him an EX, so what is it here?), then I would eliminate all texting.

Tell him the only method of communication acceptable is verbal. Texts, voice mails, emails, all of that are to be considered non-starters. You will never again engage in a discussion about or defend yourself concerning any of them.

Call, if I'm available, I will answer. When I call you, if you are available, then answer. If we don't answer, leaving voice messages does not entitle us to any specific behavior back at all. We can assume the messages may never be heard or received. That's safe and will eliminate the need to fight about it later.

And it's fair. You are NOT at his beck and call 24 hours a day. He should stop acting like you are.

Now you can only argue about the things you actually SAY to one another's faces. And based on what you've written so far, I fear you will still be arguing quite a bit over just that stuff. At least this eliminates the dumb anger over texts.

He's an "ex"...I would encourage you to honestly think about WHY he is an "ex" and perhaps decide that the best thing he could be... think about it.

Good luck.

fiona84

What are some signs your ex bf broke up with you wants you back??

He broke up with me 1 month ago but calls every other day. Hes always the one to bring up the relationship but says he wants to take things slow. Now he's telling me he wants to take me shopping. Why?? the reason he broke up with me is bc I never gave him "guy time"

greeneyedbaby

sounds to me like he wants you back. In my experience guys tends to do the call and lets chat, lets hang out, and if you do hang out with him he might even act like you guys never broke up. So now you have to decide if you want him back or not

volta-rewind

I agree with the other person,
sounds to me like he wants you back.

spion_kop

hey may want you back or he may just be in that phase where he misses the love and attention. You have to be strong and think carefully. Don't make it easy for him to get you back, analyze and make him earn you back.

jiltedgirl

It sounds like he wants you back. However, like spion_kop said, he may just miss you/want attention. When it comes down to it, he may not want to get back. Be careful and figure out what he wants before you consider anything.

I only say this because he sorta sounds like me in my last relationship. :T

Lovelee

I agree with the others, he sounds like he wants you back. Some men are too macho to come right out and tell you they want you back so they'll call and ask to see you.
I remember a few years ago I lent my then boyfriend a book that I couldn't get back from him no matter what. As soon as we broke up all of a sudden he kept calling me to collect it. When I finally went to his house to collect it we started talking long and hard and decided to get back together...I never got the book back.

When an ex wants you back they often look for any reason to contact you.

fiona84

My bf of 9mths broke up with me like a month and a half ago. Hes been texting or calling every other day. I stopped calling and everything hes always the one to do it. At first he wanted to take things slow he broke up with me bc i didnt give him his guy time. Then he got mad at me for not answering for 2 days- i forgot my phone I was away. So he said that he didnt think we should talk anymore bc I Stress him out. He said hes never felt like this about anyone and he doesn't know why this break up is so hard for him. So I agreed but ever since then hes been calling or texting everyday. We talked on the phone like nothing happened laughed n stuff. I told him maybe on sat. we should get food n hangout n hes like maybe so i played it off cool by saying whatever its fine n hes like no we will blah blah. Then hes like maybe sunday we'll go to the mall n I'll take you shopping. So I told him we'd def. talk sometime this week. I dont get it do you think he wants me back. I never bring up our relationship hes always the one to do it. I just dont get it hes so confusing

N0help4u

I think he wants you to give him guy time and he felt that saying breaking up would get the point across. Sounds like he either wants to be with you or he is having a hard time in doing a clean cut break off with you.
If you want to be with him discuss compromising and giving him guy time. If you don't then either see him as a friend or just tell him it is better if you don't see each other again.