Ok hi, firstly id like to say i feel insanely insecure and stuff, ive been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now, we are so perfectly suited i LOVE her, she says she loves me BUT i feel insecure and always "lately" think that she doesnt.

Right, i have no problems with my looks as i do believe iam good looking and people say so.. not being big headed though i am still insecure about my relationship.

We have been on 2 holidays together to disneyland paris, see her everyday LOVE HER soooo much, she is going to uni next year, obviously i want her to stay around here, she says she wants to but hasnt yet decided what uni etc, she says that she LOVES me and believes we are strong to go thru anything together, she cant see herself with anyone else.

We chat about future a lot, i always tell her how i feel about her i treat her right and she says she loves me, that we wanna have a big house and A life together with kids etc, we have talked about this a LOT under the duvet n that.

Ok a month ago she went to amsterdam with her college, for 1 week, i missed her loads she says she missed me 2, she got me loadsa sweet gifts like a magic egg that hatches and says love you, a book on love etc.

Lately since then i feel like she dnt love me as much, she takes longer to txt me back, she seems much more secure? if that makes sense, she always says she lovs me n that but i just feel strange, every night i feel like she doesnt love me as much and stuff.

we have never had sex, with anyone before and we came close to doing it the other day, which leads me to believe that the sexual element is still there, the want to do it is there still, i wonder if there is anything wrong? i dont know if it is just me being stupid.

as i said i see her everyday but its just a feeling i get that she just doesnt love me much no more, despite the fact she does txt me saying ... little cute things and stuff.

she wanted me 2 move to uni with her next year, but i have started this year as iam a year up, i am at uni close to home and i want her to stay to, maybe she will, but theres still a strange feeling i get that she just doesnt love me.

We lay in bed together, and we hug etc, all the signs say she loves me but for some reason i just dont think she does? and it would kill me if i lost her.

Is it me? is it ust me being insecure? i dont like her talking to other guys and she doesnt talk to them either, there used to be a time when she didnt like me not seeing her or complained that i left hers early n stuff, now she doesnt do that thats some of the things contributing to it.

i would LOVE some advice on my insecurities or relationship? we seem so perfectly suited i just cant see being with ANYONE ELSE. at disneyland together it was just the best thing ever, i just want to be with her forever and she means the world to me, i try my best to be a great boyfriend, as i said i always make her know shes loved and i always hug nd kiss her etc.

I mean iam 21 she is 19 now i look back on it and think ooh its so good actually but i still feel insecure and that she doesnt rele love me like i love her?

some help would be amazing.

Miszulaki

Hummmmm lots of things to say here!
Where did your insecurity came from? a past relationship or r u just soooo in love with her?
I believe that you Instinct are mostly right! Maybe because you try too much to make her happy that's causing a problem because woman do like to have a bit of a challenge... Maybe if you try giving less but the giving the same love?
Im in the same situation as you but im the girl in the situation! I know exaclty how you feel!
Your insecurity came from somewhere and you need to dig to find out where it came from... Try to talk about it with her! If she feel he wants to go away for university then let her go... more you block more she'll be unhappy! It's is possible to have a distant relationship for now! I mean you guys are still young so you need to see around.( not other people but have different experience).
Just be there for her and have as much conversation as you need! With time everything will fall into place! Just be open minded as well and you'll see
Best of luck!

farfrmnormal

The title of your thread is invalid – its not the relationship that has uncertainty, its you.

My x had insecurities with himself as well – they all were the result of something that happened in his past ( I mean when he was a child).

My only suggestion is to dig deep into yourself and try and see where these insecurities are coming from – from what it sounds like she is not the one causing them – everything she does is something I wish I could have done when I had the chance. Professional help may also be advised but I am not a therapist.

marvito

thank you. She i different from other girls ive been with, i do love her. The insecurity comes from.. i guess past relationships and there was one which i had a best friend for 2 years and i as in love with her, she went to uni and we had argument and stuff, we dont speak now and we are not friends, but to be honest i found her out to be evil in the end and that shewasnt as inoocent and nice as i first thought i mean i cheated with her as her bf was my friend when i was younger, VERY stupid. even though she went to brighton and my gf now says she wudnt move that far away the furthest she will go is london. My girlfriend and i are like a lot more closer than i was with the friend and is a totally different person. i dont know what to think these days.

She is always strying to put positives into the chats sayingif the worst came and she did move away then we can still be together and the weekends would be extra special she says.

she says she WANTS to stay in canterbury so we can be close but the main course she loves is graphics and they dont do that here.

Miszulaki

So here you go you have your answer! She loves you and wants to be with you!
Do not compare any of your past relationship with her cuz what you need to concentrate on is what you have now! What was in the past stays in the past and just look forward. She wont brake your heart but if you stay insecure she will go away and u might lose her so focus on the relationship and not what may happen. Today is today!

marvito

Thank you she wanted to move with me i mean she got the prospectuses and everything for uni before i went, i just didnt want to move, now i do if she does, obviously iam a year up.

The uni thing does worry me. you are very helpful btw please dont go away id love to keep talking.

i would quit uni to go to uni with her its rele difficult though, i really hope she stays but im not sure what brings this insecurity on? i mean i didnt feel this before she went for a week.

Miszulaki

No problem my pleasure!
If i may ask you, check out my question ( is he for me?) maybe we can both help eachother...

Miszulaki

Also life is already complicated so why not make you love relationship as happy as it should be! I mean if you have great communication and the love is there... No worries should occur! A pattern is what every human being wants for life! All types of love ar everything, u can be rich and have no one and be misireble cuz u have no one to share it with! So if you can move then do it so ull be with her... If you can then just enjoy every moment you can with that person, u'll see they'll be even more special!
Like things make big things!

marvito

i agree, but iam at uni in my first year. It may be hard to transfer somewhere? iam thinking aboutquitting after year 1 to move with her but im not sure id be allowed in halls n stuff.

marvito

There is one Uni called bath spa that does my course, commercial music and that coincidently does graphics design aswell! the course she wants, she has said she doesnt know what she wants to do yet because UCCA is about finding out what art you enjoy the most and are best at.