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hi, im in a relationship of 4 years with this girl, she is a good girlfriend but she complains about me leaving if i want to go out with friends, and is really emotional. 3 months ago i cheated didnt tell her, but she found out because the other girl had an std now we did. i am 25 she is 20. i want to be with only her and i made a mistake, i tried telling her but she does not believe anything i say now.. and she told me she hates me, and is depressed now because of this. we still live together and she feels like i am not ready for a relationship, i am, i just made a mistake. she said i made her so confused and she gives up and doesnt know if she wants to remain in this relationship, but i do. i dont know what to do, so im here.. what do i do?
If she can't get over your "mistake", there is nothing you can do. You'll never have the relationship you did before you cheated. Even if you stay together, it will always be a point of contention.
If she's willing to try and work it out with you, you'll have to be completely open and honest with her in all aspects of your life. It will take time, but if you are genuine in your feelings, eventually she will realize it was a mistake and begin to trust you as she did before.
Hello I know when someone i love hurts me such as cheats on me, the one way i would forgive them if they do something romantic and doont worry about being cheesy most girls fall for that. For an example you could by her a bunch of flowers and put them in her room or ballons that say i am sorry
Sorry but doing something romantic wont fix this problem.
The only thing that can fix this is time, and even that is no guarantee. See you broke the contract when you cheated. You have abused her trust in you and you may never ever get that back again. And without trust there is nothing. No relationship, NOTHING!!!
If you have been clear and honest with you like you have here with us about you feelings then all you can do now is back off and give her the time and space she needs to consider her options.
In the mean time if i were you id do some serious thinking about why you did this, how you can make sure you never do it again and go about improving yourself as a person. Perhaps what you need is for her to leave you so you really learn the hard lessons out of this and grow as a person.
Further, i would never condone cheating but in this situation do you think that perhaps your actions was your mind telling you that you want out of this thing. She certainly doesnt sound like an ideal girlfriend and has issues of her own.
She should not have a problem with you doing things with your friends and quite frankly if i had a partner who did have a problem with that then they would not be my partner for long.
Perhaps your actions were a result of this and maybe you have to seriously consider if you do want to be in a relationship with this person.
good luck. Make sure you take the opportunity to learn from this!
wow dude u really ed up hope it wasnt herpies that s a but ya id b pissed to if u gave my crabs from some random skank u met on the street... neway the helpin u part u gotta show her that u can b trusted do u wouldnt normally do like call her at work and talk that way she can never say u dont care in later agruments and get her roses and gifts even wen there isnt any kind of special occasion... neway good luck and personally i wouldnt blame her for not forgiving u
Well if you have breached her trust before and now youve done it again then i wouldnt blame her one bit if she kicked your a** to the curb. In fact id encourage her to.
Time to sort yourself out and learn from your mistakes!
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Are you sure you really want to be with her? Or do you want to be with someone else but are afraid of leaving her? That's the impression I get by reading what you've written here.
I sense you need to own what you did, especially in all its ramifications. If you did, you would easily understand why she wants to know where you are, what you are doing, who you are doing it with and how she is emotional about it. If this had been done to you, you would likely feel and act similar. I hear you saying you "just made a mistake" (which sounds way too close to "just made a LITTLE mistake") but what I don't hear is an apology. And saying "sorry" does not get it for something this big either. This is not an "ooops, sorry hun" deal, dude. Are you handling that way?
A real apology identifies what you did wrong, takes full responsibility for it, expresses concern for the impact that had on her in an empathetic way and promises never to do it again. Its should sound a lot like this:
"I cheated on you which also means I lied to you. I take this very seriously and I can see how you do too. I understand how blown away your trust for me now is and how badly I hurt and scared you. I was not in my right mind and I now am. I see how damaged we are now from this and promise to never cheat or lie to you again. I hope I can do what is necessary to, in time, earn back your trust."
IF she accepts your apology, then you have to help her rebuilt it, over the long haul. That reassurance will need to occur for a while since people rebuild broken trust sometimes a lot slower than they offered it to you the first time since now they know what you are capable of.
If she doesn't get the kind of apology and on-going reassurance from you that she needs to rebuild her trust after suffering being lied to, cheated on and given an std, then you will forever have a problem. And if she wrote in here about someone like you who had failed to do this, I would advise her to leave him.
I hope that makes it clearer for you and that you know what to do now.
Your lucky to have a place to stay. Since you'll be home util the cows come home, I'd start with the bathroom and prove your worth and show nothing but your good side. Hope you do windows. You made a big mistake and you owe big AMENDS!!! Hope it works and you learned from this, If it doesn't work I suggest you learn from this.
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