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    litl_hope's Avatar
    litl_hope Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 14, 2006, 11:53 AM
    Engaged then not?
    I met david at the end of my freshamn year of college. He was enlisted in the navy and was supposed to leave April 11. He then asked for another date (later) to leave so he could spend time with me. His new date was July 11th. We fell in love and went and looked at rings and talked about when we would do the big deal. I love him, I know he's the one, and he says the same for me and I eleive him. Anyway on may 11th we went to the court house to get our cirtificate. We had 60 days to get it signed.David got discharged from the navy June 23, we never got our paper signed, and later we moved in together. I was heartbroken. I didn't care if I had a ring, a ceramony, I just wanted to be his. He knew how hurt I was, and now I am better. But he told me the other day that he doesn't want to risk losing me, and he wants to get married.He is in his sr year of college, and I am just starting. He said within the next month we will be together, but I am scared. I don't want to be let down again, I don't want to go throgh the pain, and loss I felt when I went to happily egaged and then had to tone it down to girlfriend. What I feel for him I can't tone down. I am lost and confused... I need some help:eek:
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    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #2

    Nov 14, 2006, 12:45 PM
    For how relationships grow, truthfully, you and David have just met. Looking for rings and being engaged is something that most people take years, not months to work up to. If you were heartbroken, that is a good sign this isn't going well and all the more reason to back way up and slow way way down. You sound confused and worse-- desperate. That you are in such a rush or willing to be "won" so quickly makes me immediately concerned that he is playing you. If this ends badly, then know that you need some major work not to be so needy and rushed and gullible before you step in the dating arena again as there are plenty of players out there waiting to use someone like that.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Nov 14, 2006, 02:45 PM
    Val got it pretty right.

    It sounds like things went way too fast here. Way too fast. Rings and ceremonies and you only really just met.

    And your post is portraying you as a fairly desperate sounding person.

    You need to have balance. You need to be comfortable in your life early on with or without David.

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