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end of a freindship over our granddaughter who is young
my husband and I have been in her life since she was born five years ago, my son is this childs father but her mother has hooked up with someone new...the new boyfriend's family has rather taken over in our grandchilds life and I didn't mind that until we started being told we couldn't have her over to our house to spend nights with us-under the excuse that she hadn't been behaving so she couldn't go anywhere! yet she is allowed to stay over at a girlfriends for a sleepover or leave the state for two weeks with the boyfriend's family (her mother didn't even go).So I asked her mother why we were being punished and couldn't be with her any more..I got yelled at...told to leave the house..pushed and sworn at..told that no one likes me anyway the only reason anybody puts up with me is because of my husband-another complication is that we were friend's with her other set of grandparents and with her new family's parent as well and after what the boyfriend said to me yesterday..I would say all friendships are over! we have been nothing but nice to all people involved..(over and above most normal friendships and this is what we get back!) none of these people think at all about what they say and do around this child..so as grandparents I know we have rights and I plan to check them out..but I wonder if she would have to pay at home if she was to come over here! There is no cruelty involved but it seems to me her mind could become confused about the whole situation..I want to do what is right for her!! the situation is not fair to her at all..right now I feel my hands are tied...any help?? one other thing..we were storing some belongings of the boyfriends families and due to this situation I now want them to come get there things...is that acceptable??
Their belondings...let them know they have to come pick up their stuff. I would recommend you send them a certified letter so they can't claim you never told them.
If they don't pick up there things withing X amount of time, then toss their stuff or give it to good will.
And as to whether they would take it out on your granddaughter? I don't know. It is possible. But then, it also might not happen.
First, I'm sorry about your situation. It seems as though your son is not a very involved parent or this wouldn't be happening. I do believe you have rights as grandparents, legal rights, but you need to confirm that with a lawyer, the sooner the better, without letting anyone know of course. Be as nice as possible with these people, it will serve your grandaughter as well as give you a better chance of spending more time with her. Don't worry about confusing your grandaughter, the only confusion that may come her way is if you don't do all you can to be with her. Kid's know who love them, don't ever under-estimate em cause they're young. Fight for her if you must, she'll see that you care. Good Luck.
For what ever reason it looks like your grandchilds mother and boyfreind are trying to cut you from your grans' life,or at least limit your contact with her.Where is your son in all this and doesn't he have some type of visitation,if he did then no doubt you'd see more of her otherwise your in for some really bad times just trying to see her!Starting a big mess over their possesions will only add fuel to fire.I also suspect that cutting you from your granchilds life has more to do with feelings for your son than you actually and a reasonable sit-down chat could shed some light on this situation.A talk with a lawyer can't hurt.Hope I helped Good luck and please post back to let us know how this plays out!
Hi, kokotia,
I am also a grandpa, with an 8 yr old grandson. He is the joy of me and my wife's life. I am so sorry to read about this.
Normally, in most states, the grandparents don't have legal rights! As others suggested, talking with a lawyer is the only way to know what you can do, if anything, legally.
There is nothing wrong in telling the people involved to come get their things you are storing for them. I agree with sending a certified letter, with return signature, telling them to come get them.
This mess is really up to your Son to try to straighten out. Does the child live with your son? Or does she live with her mother? Sounds like she lives with the mother.
Your son might consider going to court to get child custody, but will need a lawyer. As long as your granddaughter is living with her mother, there really isn't much you can do, in my opinion. But, please talk with a lawyer with experience in child custody or divorce cases. I do wish you the best of luck.
thank you for your response to my dilemna-my son is involved in her life when the mother will let him be..she uses the same excuse as with us ..that she's been misbehaving so can't go anywhere..he is going to take legal steps, because this isn't right. we have the police involved in the personal belongings part of this and hopefully things will go as they said. again..Thank-you for your reply.
Try to be patient and let the courts grant him his visitation rights.Then you will legally be able to spend time with your gran.Especially if he goes for joint custody.As I suspected this was more about your son than you but make sure you support him thru this as it sounds like this could be very nasty.As a grandparent I feel for what your going thru.Stay strong and Good luck!
Here is what you need to do u need to get a history together of how long u have had her and once u have that u need to get a lawyer and get owener ship of her and the mother has no right to have her if she got left w/ u in the first place oh good luck and i hope u get her back!
thank you for your response to my dilemna-my son is involved in her life when the mother will let him be..she uses the same excuse as with us ..that she's been misbehaving so can't go anywhere..he is going to take legal steps, because this isn't right. we have the police involved in the personal belongings part of this and hopefully things will go as they said. again..Thank-you for your reply.
Your son needs to get specific days and times for visitation and they have to let him have the child. Period, or he takes them back to court for contempt.
Some states allow grandparent visitation rights, many don't, even those that do, often do little to inforce them, But if you stay at the court often you can get some visitation at least in the states that allow it for grandparents.
What you and your son needs is an attorney and either inforce the child custody agreement already in place or file for a modification of it with new visitation agreements.
things have semi-worked out..we have gotten to see our granddaughter a couple of times since this took place.... They have just moved so will wait to see how long it is before we are contacted for our next visit!! Thanks for your help!!
one other thing..we were storing some belongings of the boyfriends families and due to this situation I now want them to come get there things...is that acceptable??
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