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I have been with my partner for 9 years on and off its always been a bit rocky, some time ago one of his old friends came onto me i obviously turned him down, i eventually told my partner who thinks i exaggerated the whole thing which is so not true, he calls me a horrible person and poison he is now saying he is going to make friends with his old friend which i havent got a problem with but i feel like im the bad person when i havent done anything wrong and i feel like he is betraying me and is going to make a fool of me and he says hes always knew what i was like, he doesnt treat me good to be honest, he never takes me out cause he says he cant go out with me cause i always start, my partner makes me feel so bad about myself like i actually think im a bad person, ive got no confidence and low self esteem due to the way he pulls me down all the time we have a child together who we both adore but i dont know how much more o can take, he says he loves me but how can he when he hasnt got no respect for me at all. Do i tell him to leave??? and is this how your partner should treat you???
If he REALLY loved you, he would make you feel like the most important person in the world. He wouldn't disrespect you, cause you stress, and ask for advice here, from strangers, about his bad behavior.
He also would have taken your side, like any real man would have, when his friend came on to you.
It's always tough when there's a child involved. But, if the household that is raising that child isn't happy, and loving, then your not doing right by them.
Do what you think you have to do. Are you willing to leave him?
Relationships like this one usually get worse before they get better.
If a relationship makes you feel this bad then I dont think it is worth it for you to stay in it...... A relationship should make you feel good about yourself and contribute toward good self esteem..... Not erode your self esteem. It sounds like you already know the answer in th ebottom of your heart even though it is not easy to accept the answer......? I have been in bad relationships, much like the one you are describing and in my experience, i think we sometimes hold onto bad relationshipseven though they hurt us, because we have a fear that we need the other person and that we wont find anybody else and will have 'nothing'...... This is so so untrue. When you end a bad relationship it will hurt like hell for a while and you will feel very lonely but then the truth will dawn on you.... That you dont need the person and that you were hanging onto , nothing, a very poor excuse for a relationship. And then you will gradually feel empowered and much better within yourself, and your self esteem will grow back and you will find someone else, and will know not to make the same mistake again. His power over you will fade and you will feel much better than you ever did with him. Being alone is better for you than being in a relationship. HONESTLY..... BELIEVE ME.... It sounds like you are really better off without him. You deserve better. Everyone deserves better than this. I really do talk from experience......... Emotional abuse is also very damaging and poorly understood in our culture. Yet it exists in many relationships. Nooone should have to deal with it.
Having a child does make it more difficult, but I hope that you have other support.... Your parents? Siblings? Friends? To me it sounds as though you are not functioning at your best right now and that you would be a much stronger person, a better mother for your child if you were happier. It sounds like you need to do something anyway.
I've read the answers above and agree with them. You are being emotionally abused. Having been in a similar situation when I was younger, I can understand the confusion you feel. The roller coaster ride can throw you - when they are good they are so good, but when they are bad they are horrid. The fact he calls you a horrible person and poison is unacceptable. He's trying to ruin your self esteem and control you. If he doesn't treat you well, leave him. I also understand that having a child together complicates things, but his behavior towards you will affect your child negatively. I hope you have the means to get out of this relationship, whether you can do it on your own or with the help of family and friends. He sounds like poison to me. Don't accept the lack of respect. Respect yourself now, before he undermines your self esteem any further. It will take time, but eventually you will know you have done the right thing. Good luck.
i have got a brill family and friends, i know i can do it on my own, we have seperated a few times...and i know this sounds stupid, i dont like the thought of him moving on with some1 else and been happy and me been stuck on my own....he keeps asking why i have told him about his friend, but why shouldnt he of known....i know i havent got the support from him...
If after 9 years, you still haven't stabilized your relationship, then chance are, things are going to end eventually. You say you've been on and off. When you go back "on", have you really fixed the things that made you "off"? Regardless, it sounds like a very toxic relationship if he's associating the word "poisin" with you.
If you don't feel that you have anymore confidence and self-esteem because of him, then you really need to distance yourself from him. You need to take care of yourself before you worry about someone else. How can you take care of someone else if you can't even take care of yourself?
He blames me for absolutly everything, he can not admit when he is in the wrong....according to him he never does nothing wrong....im sick of going round in circles with him, i just want to be happy and feel secure...even though ive lived my life on a rollercoaster for the past 9 years its never affected my relationship with my child, i have a good job and work full time to give him a good life....i just wish things could be different but they never will be, i know what i need to do.....
Why are you worried about him moving on and being happy and you being alone? Do you really think he will be happy? The way he is treating you is exactly how he is going to treat someone else. These are his ways, the type of man he is. So what if your alone for a time. Embrace it. Get to know yourself. Build your self esteem back up and be the best you can be. Make another man feel lucky to have you.
I cant help but think that he will be happy and i wont, he tells me i will always these sort of relationships cause of the way i am he calls me a loose cannon whatever that is...but i think im a normal girl who wants a normal relationship, even my friends and family tell me all the time its not me its him....
He need to grow up he is 30 year old and still acts like a child....
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