Im 26 hes 36 and controlling. he thinks im cheating with my boss. i have to call him whenever my boss comes around me. he tells me to wear my blootooth so my boss wont see im on the phone and so he can listen in to what is really going on. i have nothing to hide so i do it. if he doesnt answer he says to leave it recording on the voicemail. if he calls the office and my boss is around hell start accusing me because i didnt call him. he yells and curses at me and calls me whore because he swears ive been with my boss. my boss is married and has a girlfriend too that comes here to see him. I guess he sees that he cheats on his wife so he assumes he wants to be with me too. I dont agree with what my boss does and i even told his mom what he is doing (the main boss lady/this company is 8 ppl only so we have become close). i tell my boyfriend he must be ignorant to really think that and he just keeps accusing me.
we lived together but when i would complain to him about how ridiculous it that i have to call him when my boss is around he would say "if you dont like it then get the f*** out of here" and i would never EVER curse back at him or yell at him, i would just sit there and cry like how can he be sol cold with me and treat me like this. There are so many more things that he has done to me it would be toolong but basically we broke uplast week ye yelled at me, was cursing me out and told me to leave that im such a whore and i just could not take it anymore and i left. he has done this to me before but i never leave and then a day later he'll apologize and say "you know i dont mean what i tell you i never want you to leave, dont listen to me when i say that" but why should i have to put up with it???!!! I left and i just cant take his verbal abuse anymore.
I fell so lonely and im missing him very bad. We work together so its hard. He is actually being nice hereat work but acting like he doesnt care like his life is all fine and dandy without me. I know im doing the right thing butit hurts real bad. We were together for 3 years and i lived with him for about 1.5 Yrs.
Congrats you are FREE!!!!! No more being yelled at no more being cursed at (a real man DOES NOT curse at his GF or wife) Wearing a bluetooth so his paranoid @$$ can listen to you and your boss is INSANE!!!! Nobody should have to deal with that. Go out have some fun with your friends. Start to live your life again but this time you are STRESS FREE!!!!!
The first few sentences of the post sounded like the guy is truly delusional! What a jealous freak! I'd be so glad he left- who needs that type of treatment- it would have gotten the best of you eventually! Act as if you don't care- watch him simmer in a jealous fit - he does care - one cannot go from being jealous one day to not being paranoid to the next!
You should be relieved that you are not longer in such a controlling relationship. He might have some good qualities, but I can assure you that there are much better men out there.
Take your time to recover from the breakup, but you can definitely do better and you will find someone better when you're done recovering. Don't look back anymore.
Thank you fir replying. My mind knows and understands what is going on and I'm smart to know that this is not healthy and it has already taken a toll on me...I know my self esteem has suffered. I am pretty and I know that I can go out and meet other people but my heart loves him and I can't help that. I'm just sad cause I really do care but he is so controlling and manipulative. One time we were at the movies and he KNEW or better ASSUMED I was looking at a guy so we left on the way home ge was yelling and telling me to admit it I didn't he told me to get off his car he didn't even let me get my purse I had to walk home in boots 3 miles at 10 pm , and when I get home he answers the door saying are u ready to apologize for looking at another guy?
Another time we were at the beach at night to talk about some arguments we had (his idea of a calming environment) he didn't like what he heard so we left on the way home he told me to get off on the freeway at about 11 pm again without my phone. I then saw him driving around looking for me but by then I had already called chp and they picked me up and took me to my moms. The next he called and said sorry, and rats all it took for me to go back to him. To this day I still don't even know what freeway we were on.
Feeling very lame and without a backbone.
I need to learn some self respect and value myself
Wow are you kidding me. Be very glad that you are no longer in that relationship. It seems that he has real issues and is very insecure. He will always be that way unless somone he loves leaves him and he fully understand that no one will put up with that behavior forever. I think you did him and you a favor by letting go. So just stay strong and stick to your guns. You are making some changes and to me that shows you do have a backbone. Good Job
What you are experiencing is emotional abuse. Your BF is a bully and if you continue to be stay with him and accept his behavior it will probably escalate to physical violence.
I suspect that you need him rather than love him, because what is there to love? I ask this question genuinely. What is there to love about someone that belittles you, bullies you, controls you and makes you feel bad about yourself?
You don't really need to be with someone like this do you?
Please give some thought about why you chose to stay with a person like this - you sound reasonably self observant - you can now spend some time building up your confidence and self respect so that you don't attract another monster like him.
Let him go, and rejoice in your freedom to be yourself.
No, I'm sorry, I have no encouraging words for you. But I do have some advice ; RUN, do not walk, away from this creep and don't look back. I stopped reading your post after the "if you don't like it then get the f*** out of here" part because that was enough for me. Any creep that would talk to someone like that isn't worth the time of day, in my estimation. And "control freak" doesn't even begin to describe this psycho. Is this really the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with? I wouldn't want to spend one minute with someone like this, let alone a lifetime!
Hi everyone just wanted to let you all know i have not called him and i was actually doing really good but today i jist woke up missing him. I'm feeling really angry at him and myself for allowing him to treat me like that and im feeling really hurt. I guess its just all sinking in to me that its really over. =(
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