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The fact that he is stuck in your mind does NOT give you license to go home-wrecking.
What you "believe" about you two being perfect for each other is absolutely irrelevant. He's married and has a family.
Your opinion of her looks or sexuality (whether accurate or not) is completely irrelevant. He's married and has a family.
Every thought you entertain about a married man, for WHATEVER REASON you give to yourself, is you planning evil. It is unfortunate to obsess over a married man...it is EVIL to act in any way on those obsessions.
E - V - I - L.
If you actually like this man the way you think you do (and you don't, it's just hormones, but that's another discussion), but let's pretend your obsessive thoughts DO equal care for this man... if you DO care for this man, then you will protect and honor his values and life choices. That's what you do for people you love.
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And BTW, based on this story, if you move with in with your current boyfriend thinking that things will get better, you are fooling yourself, and you're setting you two up for disaster. Moving in together takes whatever you are experiencing and magnifies it 20 fold. The things that are good may be a little better due to the convenience, but the things that are bad become absolutely unbearable.
Moving in is a bad plan. Just because you've dated someone for 4 years doesn't mean you two are a good match, it just means you're used to each other. And it sounds to me like you're BOTH getting tired of each other. You should at least consider a clean break while there is a chance you two could remain friends. The way you're going I predict you will land in "Hatesville, USA."
ok so I have a b/f of 4 years I love him with all my heart!
You obviously don't love this guy with all your heart because your heart is way to occupied with holding on to the past!!!
First off, as said below, it is NOT your place to say who is or isn't Darren's type. Darren is married with a family and that is that. Nothing that does or doesn't happen in your life gives you the right to step in the middle of that. I think it's time you take a break from your bf of 4 years too. Listen to yourself talking about moving in with him while you are completely wrapped up in this 'other guy.' Take some time for YOU! You need to get yourself together before you go on with this current relationship. Right now you are only hurting yourself (and your bf).
Thank you! I needed that....it was a good slap in the face. And a pretty good reality check!Im definatly not a home wrecker....i just think about him to much. By the way....hes still a kid,he's 18 years old....and him and his "wife" won't last forever,i can guarantee that! He set hiself up for a divorce and a custody battle. And i feel that if we never lost contact,he wouldn't be in this position.
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