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I'm planning to send an email to my ex asking him a weird question because right now I'm very lost as a person after my latest ex dumped me in a drama fashion 2 days ago. As I'm not thinking straight at the moment, please read the message below and tell me if it's too weird. This ex we broke up 2 years ago. We had only occasional email contacts, and the last time I sent him an email was during New Year, asking him yet another weird question about my situation with my new boyfriend. And apparently he was awkward about it.
Hello. Long time no talk. How are you?
Hope I'm not intruding your busy life, but I'm on a soul-searching journey and I think you can contribute to it.
My ex told me my eyes were very scary when we fought. He seriously thought I could and I would kill someone. You told me the same thing and at that time I didn't pay much attention because people close to me have told me that I have an anger issue but no one else except you and him told me about how my eyes are killer's eyes. I know it was a long time ago and you probably didn't even remember anything. But as I don't talk to him anymore, you're the only person who can answer me this question, if you still remember things of course. Did you seriously think I could and would actually kill someone from the way my eyes were glaring? Please be objective. You don't have to spare my feelings by being diplomatic at all. This question is very important to me and I need a real answer.
I honestly do not see the point in getting an opinion from your ex about this. Would you kill someone? Have you?
Let's be real here. There is a bigger issue going on. If you fear your anger, then get anger management classes, but no need to dig up old graves. Your "soul searching" doesn't revolve around what others think about you, it revolves around the perception you have of yourself.
lets assume you have met thousands of people so far in your life,2 have said something about your eyes.. has anyone ever said you have amazing eyes?
dont contact your ex.
if you feel you need to do some soul searching only you can provide the answers.
Soul searching is about you finding out about yourself and changing what needs to be changed. You already know you have anger issues so work on it.
All because you get killer eyes during an agruements doesn't necessarily mean your going kill someone. It just a figure of speech. However, if your buttons get pushed too much who knows what your capable of. Many killers have killed when they were on a anger high.
Asking him this question is beyond stupid and you need to just fix what did to be fixed. I am sure you don't need your ex to tell you this.
I suspect it has more to do with feeling lonely rather than any real answer you seek about your eyes. I do not mean to be rude but who really cares how your eyes look when your upset? If he says yes than what do you propose to do about it? If he says no will you feel some sort of great relief?
I think this is you trying to contact an ex to probe him after this more recent relationship flunked. I also note that you mentioned you no longer talk to him anymore, are you sure this is not a message intended to re-establish contact all the while letting him no your available? I suspect that's exactly what it is.
Everyone does stuff after a break up that seems crazy so I'm not calling you out or anything, however, once you get over this you'll appreciate how smart not sending this is.
Thank you for all your wake up calls. It's definitely what I need. As I said, I'm not thinking straight at the moment, I even tried to jump onto subway tracks before a guard made me stand up.
Part of me that's still conscious tells me it's beyond stupid as you rightly put. I guess I'm not gonna get anything good out of sending this email. That's why I only save it as a draft and copy paste it on here for you guys to stop me.
I just so desparately need someone close to me to tell me I'm a good person with dignity and pride.
You aren't a good person, you are a GREAT person. Realize it. You need to know that yourself, without the confirmation of anyone else to make you believe it.
Umm Petunia, if you were contemplating suicide over something like this than perhaps you should focus on that instead of obssessing about this.
Please seek some help if you feel this is too much to handle. We can do little for you here in terms of these very disturbing issues.
For wat it's worth I think you seem like a very confused but very nice and polite person. Please speak to someone close to you or a professional as soon as possible K?
Please seek counseling since you tried to kill yourself. Call this number whenever you feel like you need someone to talk to 1-800-273-talk because your not thinking straight. Sorry if this might sound harsh but you need help and counseling would be your best option.
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