This is my first time on this site and really thankful I found it....but anyways on to my question...

I've known this one guy for over 5 years already and we're closer than most. (I know this sounds like the old cliche' friends getting together idea but it's not all that great) moving on, everybody thought we liked eachother cuz we were seen almost everyday constantly flirting. I was able to find out about his secrets that he has hidden behind a mask and he even told me straight out that he has never told anybody what he tells me.

Well one day, about a month or a month and a half ago I came out straight with him and told him do you like me or not. He said he did but he wanted to see if my feelings are true and to wait. But he kept constantly telling me I dont think I'm the one for you...or i'll just hurt you, the same day I asked him...I gues he was in somewhat of a shock....I've waited and I still like him still, maybe even more than before, but he acts like he is upset that he has feelings for me and hates that he has them. He's also was avoiding me like the plage for the past month. We finally started to hang out together last week, everyday practically like we used to, but he never wants to hang out alone and if we do end up alone it's after all his other friends left and I'm a last resort. It's driving me up the wall and I don't know if I should try to re-start the friendship relationship again...but I don't have any idea how. To top this all off he's act really over-ley friendly with his ex that he was extremely upset with the last time they broke up...
which was over two years ago and they did the whole 'let's stay best friends even though it didn't work out that way..' For the past two years they just acted like friends, not over-ley frinedly or anything. Now everything that we used to do he does with her and it's like I swtiched places with his ex.

I'm also going to a birthday hangout with him and his ex plus a couple of other people, plus the person whose birthday it is and I just wanted to know how should act??!!

so what should I do?

Skell

Sorry but it sounds as though he isnt over his ex and therefore is worried about getting involved with you.
He is gurading himself from more hurt and still grieving the loss of his past relationship.

MInd you i dont think he is doing in a good way if he is still in contact with her. But that is a hwol other thread.

If i were you id back off a little. Just let him be and let him work out his feelings.
He needs this time to think and work out some things about himself after his break up.

Sure, you dont have to completrly cut him off but i just think you need to back off. Let him miss you a little.

I think you should just worry aboiut keeping yourself happy. Enjoy your life and dont get too caught up in him at the moment.

You cant control what he is feeling. Only your own. So look after you. Have fun, be happy, smile and im sure everything will be fine!

Krs

He probably likes you, but as skell said he is probably not completely over his ex, and at least he is being honest with you about his feelings and he said himself he is scared he may hurt.

Be yourself towards and dont expect anything.

talaniman

You aren't the first friend to want more. He is not ready for that though so back off and and enjoy your life with out him. He may come around but I really doubt it. If it becomes difficult to accept his position then cut all contact .

valinors_sorrow

A hwol other thread LOL, I loved that Skell -- too freudian.

People need time to get over a break up and to get involved with someone who hasn't is asking for it. You only need read through all those "howling" threads here to see that.

Slow down. Way way down.

s_cianci

Get busy and build a life for yourself that doesn't include him. It sounds like you've made him the center of your world and that's not a good thing. Do the things that you enjoy and that interest you. Take up a new hobby or "dust off" an old one. Take a class or a vacation. Join a gym or a dance club. The list goes on and on. Date other guys and hang out with your girl friends. Make him realize that you can be just as happy without him as with him. You don't need him ; if anything, he's the one who needs you. When you go out on this birthday hangout, act like it's nothing and be friendly with everyone there and I mean everyone, if you get my drift. Be mysterious and aloof ; make him wonder what you're up to. This will elevate his interest and may get him paying more attention to you.