My girlfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me. She said that she needed space. The reasoning behind this is that she says she just felt unhappy for a while, because of some of my actions. I love her dearly, and I have been giving her the space she has requested. She says that she loves me, but wants to be friends with me for the time being. She says that alot has happened and it will take some time to even consider being with me again. As of right now, we talk every once in a while, and I keep it cool. I dont beg her to come back or anything, just talk on a normal level. I let her know that I recognize my mistakes, and apologized to her, told her that I would not be that way again, i.e. negative, jealous, etc. I know that I have to show her through my actions, and not just words. I felt it was important for her to know that I cared enough about her to find the error in my ways though. I guess I am not sure how to go about this, as she says she would like to be just friends at the moment, and is not sure if we can be together again. Because, from what I gather from her, she is pretty hurt from the things I was doing, and it is going to take some time to heal that hurt. I know that I have to keep plugging away at my life, and do things for me, but in light of all of that i still want there to be a future for us. Can anyone help me understand what to do, other than what I am doing already? Any insight is helpful!

gypsy456

Respect her and give her space...
there might not be a future for the two of you ?
Accept and move on.
Sometimes things are just "over".

Good luck

Jiser

Give her space. This is a break up treat it as one. Be unavailable, enjoy your life without her. You both need time apart for the time being.

talaniman

The other posters are so right as she has told you she is healing, and so should you. Leave her alone and worry about your own healing which means no contact for a while. Do you have a future? Thats a question for a psychic. But you can read all the posts in this forum of the misery and confusion of those who stay in contact after a partner wants space, and its cheaper than going to a psychic.

zooropa1985

Im in the same situation as you. My girlfriend dumped me three weeks ago mainly because of my jealousy of her past.

I realise now that i made a big mistake and should have enjoyed every minute with her.

Shes doing her A levels at the minute and says she wants space, im tryng my best to give her it but its very hard, she almost seems like a different person.

We are planning to meet after her exams, i dont know what will happen as she says she doesnt see us getting back together.

Just thought you should know you're not the only one going through this right now

lavenderly

Jealousy and negative thinking can really suffocate a relationship. By the time your girl says she needs space, im afraid it is already too late.

She may still have in her heart a special place for you, but the bitterness on her tongue is still vivid in her memories. A jealous man is also usually one who loves his partner to bits... Despite enjoying the attention she gets, she cannot reciprocate by "repaying" you the amount of affection u showed. That is when she feels like she needs to get away from u though she knows u are a caring person.

What u need to do now is to work on eliminating any form of negativity in u that wrecks a relationship. Learn to nag lesser in your future relationship(s); do not probe for answers unless volunteered by your partner(s); stop your mind from conjuring up images of others cheating on u; actively transform bad thoughts into healthy thoughts.

Matteus

Any insight is helpful... Well first of all, when we say to someone we need space, its what in fact we need, although we still want in somehow talk to that someone, because of our old habits. Are you giving that space to her? Why are you still talking to her and dont leave her alone and her mind work toward you? I mean you still "help" her decisions toward you ? Even if she recondiders her decision and decides to be with you, in fact it was you who helped her act this way. And that is called getting the ex back, but in a manipulative way. On the other side, she may reforce her decision for her own space, as she sees you as a stalker, and someone who in fact doesnt respect his own words (you said her you are giving her space, but you didnt), let alone respecting her and her space... and again you are helping her about this.
I would say, fight with the urge of talking to her in any way possible. Even if she may react angriely about that, you have already the justification... you respect her decision, and her space, and you are giving it to her, as it was what she asked for, so she doesnt need to be angry if you dont talk to her.

snowboarding_chick

its hard, but some relationships just have to end. keep giving her space, but still be her friend. if you keep "waiting" for her to come back you, she might realize what is happening and know that she can do what she wants and always have you there waiting. gah, i can't explain it. sorry if that doesn't make sense to ya

talaniman

Just a question, if you dump a guy do you really think he wants to be friends? What should he do with his broken heart?

Ralph85

Yea man, i feel you on this one. Im actually going through the exact same thing with my girl right now. She left me because of similar reasons, and now im going through hell to get her back. All she wants now is space and be friends. All i want is my girl and be happy with her. Ive been trying so hard in many ways in order to see how it can work out again. Trust me is def hard when u look back and think of all the fun you have together etc and now cant even do that. Just give her the space and cry if you have to man.