Dumper wants no contact...

amicon · May 1, 2011, 03:26 AM

You keep busy and do things you enjoy,that's how you distract yourself.

What's there to fight for?
Tilting at windmills is not very productive.

Letting her go without a fuss was a good option.

talaniman · May 1, 2011, 05:43 AM

Feelings will make us humans do, say, and want to do many things we shouldn't do. Fighting, is a natural reaction to being afraid. Whether its being afraid of being alone, or afraid to lose something we want greatly.

Just me, fighting to change some ones mind is but a useless way of trying to hold something that doesn't want to be held, and just me, I would prefer to have someone that wanted me as much as I wanted them.

And what does fighting for your love mean? Never giving up after they dump you? Begging pleading and showering with gifts, poems, and all kinds of promises you can't keep? When all of that fails, and they still haven't taken you back, still don't want you, now what?

Oh that's right, at least you tried right? How much of your dignity, and self respect are you willing to give to keep someone in your life? Just me, I would rather they be there because that's where they want to be. I would rather have them as stuck on me as I am on them, and we fight together, not to keep each other. She doesn't fight for you, that's not what she wants, so why are you really fighting? And what are you fighting for?

mrmineral · May 2, 2011, 09:40 PM

I guess I'm scared about the future and worried ill never find anything as good as what I had with her. It felt so perfect but then it seemed to flicker away so quickly. It was intense and passionate. Its the first time I've felt like this with anyone.

On a side note my dilemma is this...I live in her hometown and she will return in a year. However I am not from these parts and a part of me wants to move somewhere else and try something new. But I have this feeling that if I move then she will return wanting to be with me. Or worse still that if I stay and wait that when she returns she won't care about me and maybe think I'm pathetic for waiting.

I really can't get a handle of my emotions and what I want to do without somehow letting my delusions about her influence me.

mrmineral · Jul 29, 2011, 08:15 AM

Hello again,

Maybe 4 months I posed a question here and I had wonderful responses.

I was with a girl for a year. We were very close and she suggested marriage. Anyway she left me. She went to study abroad for one year. She didn't want to stay in contact and I did as told.

She has been gone 5 months. It has been hard for me but I have been moving on...slowly. Then out of nowhere she re initiates contact. First of all she emails to see how I am and drops in that she has a new boyfriend. Obviously this affects me and I choose not to reply. A week passes she then emails me again saying she misses me and that she has missed me. She adds me back on facebook and even wishes my mother Happy Birthday.

So I'm confused. I still have feelings for her. I want her back. What do I do?

Is she genuine? Or does she want some power over me? Did she have an argument with her new boyfriend?

When we broke up it was because of circumstance. She moved away.

BK201 · Jul 29, 2011, 10:18 AM

She moved away and she has a boyfriend. Now she is confident that she won't get hurt, so she initiates the contact to keep in touch.May be she had an argument with her boyfriend, or she missed you, but they are there together and you are not. Replying her won't take you anywhere, she has a boyfriend after all. Do not give in. You have not moved on really, so please continue the NC no matter what.

adviceishere · Jul 29, 2011, 10:22 AM

Totally agree with Bk201, don't contact her, its says a lot about her having a boyfriend and telling an old flame she misses him. It makes me wonder, how many ex's she told she missed them when she was with you?

amicon · Jul 29, 2011, 11:02 AM

Don't let her mess with your head-back to NC!

liz28 · Jul 29, 2011, 11:39 AM

No, her action aren't genuine. You been doing good before she contacted you so don't let her back into your world even as a friend. You still have feeling for her and want her back but she has a boyfriend, remember that. Let this be your motive to leave her alone.

I would block her from fb and your email account. Continue on with your life and don't let this interruption make you do something you will regret later

talaniman · Jul 29, 2011, 02:32 PM

She is happy and is ready to be friends, and thinks you are ready for what she wants. Treat this as you would any other spam, and why haven't you already blocked her? Then you wouldn't be wondering what she wants, you would be doing your own thing, and the hell with her. And before you wonder where this question went, its in the process of being merged with your other one.

So know that your lack of action at NOT deleting her, and preventing her screwing with you with her BS, has come back to bite you in the butt. Correct that ASAP!

southamerica · Jul 29, 2011, 02:56 PM

Nothing good can come out of allowing her to re-initiate contact with you.

If she is wondering how you are, and missing you...WHILE being with this new boyfriend...that's her mess to sort out. All you'll be doing by allowing her to actually re-initiate contact is making it YOUR mess as well.

You're doing well, healing and feeling better...keep that up.

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be, but don't over-analyze things. She is someone else's girlfriend now, and you treat that like you would any other girl who has a boyfriend.

Dumper wants no contact...

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