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Cgirl · Apr 5, 2006, 02:21 PM

Don't you hate it when you have a friend that you enjoy hanging out with, but they are so insecure about their appearance, that they rip on every girl that walks by that is somewhat attractive (even ones that aren't at all) and can't stand it when a girl even says "hi" to her husband. It makes me afraid to even aknowledge her husband when I walk into the room. She is the type that will freak out and call someone a b**** even if they just look pretty. It makes me wonder what she is saying about me behind my back. :(

kp2171 · Apr 5, 2006, 02:31 PM

are you calling me fat?

=)

kp2171 · Apr 5, 2006, 02:34 PM

sorry.

it's a running joke I have w my daughter.

she used to pick and pick like that on the appearance of other girls or guys. Go to the mall and say "all the people there were ugly"

so I started the "are you calling me fat" joke... just at random times to let her see how silly it was to obsess...

Cgirl · Apr 5, 2006, 02:34 PM

Hehe, that's exactly how she is. And we both have a child the same age and our husbands are in a band together, so I am forced to hang out with her in public places on a regular basis (at gigs and such) this makes for a great night, let me tell you!

Krs · Apr 6, 2006, 12:21 AM

That is somewhat a deep insecurity complex. I would hate that too Cgirl.
When she rips off any girl that waks by, do u tell her u disagree?

fredg · Apr 6, 2006, 04:38 AM

Hi, Cgirl,
Friendship means accepting things about a person, all of a person. Some things will be fine, others may not be.
Eventually, when two people who are friends begin getting "on each others' nerves", they either have to work it out, or find new friends.
If it gets to the point that it just isn't worth it anymore, then you will probably find a new friend. I do wish you the best of luck.

DJ 'H' · Apr 6, 2006, 04:43 AM

This is her own issue. I have a friend who just obsesses way too much at times. If I have not called her for a couple of days she automatically assumes she has done something to upset me or I have obviously have a problem and I should talk to her about it - when in actual fact I am fine and just been busy with DJ gigs and catching up on my sleep so that I retain energy to go and see her and other friends. It does get on my nerves at times and some of the things she says really gets my back up - but in the bigger icture she has a heart of gold, is always there whan I need her and that out ways all of her flaws. Besides I have my flaws too and I probably do and say things that get on her nerves, but the fact that I have a heart of gold and am always there when she needs me leaves nothing left to discuss.

She and I have often said are problem is that we are too close and have a sisterly relationship which is why we do fall out a lot. We have very similar personalities and sense of humour but differ in our morals and opinions on things (which is where we have come into conflict when we were young) but now we are older we can tell each other what we think and agree to disagree.

Cgirl · Apr 6, 2006, 11:28 AM

I'm glad DJ 'H' that you can have a friend that you are that close with, but this is just not the case with this girl, she is way too two faced. I mean she talks about everyone else about them behind their backs, so how do I know she is not talking about me behind mine? I mean I can't even talk to her husband for gods sake, she might think I am hitting on him. SHe is THAT insecure. I guess I just know that I have to keep my distance from her and realize that we will never be THAT close ever, if she doesn't trust anyone, even someone who is married with a baby and has no interest in her husband whatsoever. I just feel sorry for her, she probably will never have a real close friendship with a girl because of her own self esteem issues. That's why all of her friends are guys. I mean we all hava our faults, god knows I have many, but come on!

DJ 'H' · Apr 7, 2006, 12:46 AM

Originally Posted by Cgirl

I'm glad DJ 'H' that you can have a friend that you are that close with, but this is just not the case with this girl, she is way too two faced. I mean she talks about everyone else about them behind their backs, so how do I know she is not talking about me behind mine? I mean I can't even talk to her husband for gods sake, she might think I am hitting on him. SHe is THAT insecure. I guess I just know that I have to keep my distance from her and realize that we will never be THAT close ever, if she doesn't trust anyone, even someone who is married with a baby and has no interest in her husband whatsoever. I just feel sorry for her, she probably will never have a real close friendship with a girl because of her own self esteem issues. That's why all of her friends are guys. I mean we all hava our faults, god knows I have many, but come on!

Well in that case, then there is nothing you can do. If she wants to slag everyone off behind there backs, but be nice to their faces, then she is just putting on a faulse front. She is going the right way to be being a very lonely girl. Hopefully she will wake up and smell the coffee. Sometimes I find in these situations you just have to be blunt, but in a nice way. I am the type of girl who will just speak her mind, I don't beat about the bush. I am having this problem with Petes (my bloke) friends, and I have made it perfectly clear to them that I am with Pete, I am not the one with the problem, and they are just going to have to get over it - but I have made this point in a very suttle and adult manner. They will get the hint soon and hopefully we can sort something out, because they are putting Pete in a very awkward position.

Seriously perhaps you may want to try and just say something to her about this (calmly and just drop it into conversation) - if she is not very close then you have nothing to lose and at least when you see her around she will know not to mess with you.

You have nothing to lose, so what harm would it do?

Krs · Apr 7, 2006, 12:56 AM

Proves what a coward she is. I wouldn't like to have a 'friend' like that as I would wonder whether she talks about me when I'm not around. To be honest I wouldn't surprise if she does. Not because of you but just because of the kind of person she is.

Cgirl · Apr 7, 2006, 08:27 AM

Thank you all for your advice, I guess I just needed a place to vent about this girl, as this has been bugging me for a while now. I mean, we went to a gig last Fri. night and she got p'd at me because I was talking to a girl that she didn't particularly like. I REFUSE to stoop down to her level and not talk to someone just because SHE doesn't like them (which she has no reason not to like them since they have been nothing but nice to her, but she thinks the girl is prettier than her so she automatically doesn't like her.) I don't know, unfortunately I am forced to be around this girl because of our husbands being in the same band, I guess I just have to be careful with her and only trust her as far as I can throw her (which isn't very far ;) )
I am too outgoing and nice of a person to let her sway me from talking to other people and being sociable!

bizygurl · Apr 7, 2006, 08:07 PM

Hi cgirl,

Ahhh... I know all too well about friends like this and in the end they basically became ex-friends at some point. That would drive me nuts. Not only is this girl jealous and mean but she's incredibly negative. If things like this are going to bother her soooo much and she can't handle being around other woman then she should just stay home. Why do that to herself. I mean every time this girl goes out with you she sounds as if she has a miserable time... and that's ridiculous. How old is this girl anyway?

talaniman · Apr 8, 2006, 04:56 PM

I try to stay away from negative people period! Maybe that explains all the laughter and fun when I get together with my friends!:cool: :)

Cgirl · Apr 9, 2006, 02:24 PM

bizygurl-she is a few years younger than me, I am 27 and she is like 24 I think. It just sucks that she is such a negative person, because we both have a son around the same age (1) and they love to play together. Oh well, such is life. Hopefully someday she will come to terms with her self esteem issues. Until then, I am not going to hold my breath waiting for her to come around. :)