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inertia · Dec 19, 2008, 10:17 AM

Talk to people who break up. The dumper or the dumpee. And I promise both will say the other was insecure. Aren't we all insecure. No one wants to be rejected for who they are as a person. Everyone questions their place in life. Some people who can appear to have everything end up committing suicide. What people should say is, that particular person's insecurities are incompatible with mine. We are all looking for someone who doesn't exploit our insecurities. Someone who understands without explanation. A lot of people who post on this board aren't any more insecure than their partner is or was. They just weren't ready to throw in the towel. Sure, maybe your quirks irritated them and theirs didn't bother you but what can you do?

roxypox · Dec 19, 2008, 10:42 AM

sure, we all have insecurities... and when you get dumped or rejected it does feel as if you as a person is being rejected...

But of course not all break ups are about insecurities, my most resent x was dumped by my b\c he is one messed up individual who treated me badly and who was so self-centered that he kept focusing on himself during a time when I needed him the most. He wasn't insecure when I dumped him, he was 100% sure. Too late. He was the first 6 months we were dating, however, and I didn't realize it until I broke up with him and when he begged me to take him back

I told him that I don't want to be with you, our relationship is bad, destructive and it is destroying me as a person. I don't like who you are now.

he replied by telling me that: well, now you might understand where I was last fall. Hehe he dug a grave when he said that.

TrueFaith · Dec 19, 2008, 11:17 AM

Insecurities are not the root of all evil.

Everyone as you know has them.

What makes a good couple, is for the two people to work on those insecurities no matter how strange or hard, and to be understanding.

Most of the time. Couples break up for other reasons.

There are so many factors that come into a relationship.
People get bored.
People cheat
People want to be alone.

The thing you should say is. There Life Goals do not match with Yours
Not the insecurities.

Because at the end of the day. If you both want the same thing in life, and you want to do it together.. insecurities will not stop you

talaniman · Dec 19, 2008, 05:52 PM

Its not having the feelings that are what's good or bad, its how you cope with them, and what your actions are when you deal with your feelings that counts.