At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
This is about my past relationship and I just want to know if I was emotionally abused or am I an obsessive relationship type person. It all started in 1998; I had met the "man of my dreams". So I thought. Here is the rundown:
We move in together, he accuses me of having an affair with the bill collector; which I didn't; he gets caller ID and hides it from me; he shows up when I am out with my friends after he tells me he doesn't want to go; then it progressively gets worse; he tries to keep my from my friends and family; we split in 2002 for three months, during those 3 months he tells me he loves me, misses me, blah blah blah, and I catch him in bed with some girl. I was pregnant at the time and ended up having a DNC done. He didn't come to the hospital. He even denied it was his. I was done; quit calling, everything. A few weeks go by and he begs for my forgiveness after he supposedly "kicked the other girl to the curb". We get back together and I move back in. I could never do anything right, the house was never clean enough, my job wasn't good enough, I didn't love him enough, one minute. The next I am the woman he loves most in this world. We agreed to split up again in November of 04. He came to me in December and told me he didn't have enough money for rent and would I let him stay until the first of the year. Of course I said yes, I love him and was still hoping things would work, I asked him to do things with me, spend the holidays with me and my family. He said no. But he went to his families and never asked me. He usually doesn't go to his families. Well January comes and he moves out, he wasn't saving money for rent he was waiting on the paperwork for the house he bought to go through. I never even knew about it. Yes I am bitter about it. We are still seeing each other after he moves. He is seeing all kinds of woman from 19 to 55. I am seeing nobody. But am accused of sleeping with everybody. I finally am tired of it and try to forget him. I meet somebody new. The ex kicks in my back door the first time this guy is at my house. Was he stalking me? How did he know? I asked the new guy to leave and told the ex to either let me go or be with me and me alone. He does neither. He keeps screwing with my heart and my head. One minute its this the next minute it is that. He has constantly been with someone else since he has moved out. But was still telling me he loved me and missed me. Kept telling me they where just "friends". I included him with me and the new friends I have made, he told me that if I was good then I could hang out with him and his friends at sometime. It never happened. I was only good enough to see when he wanted to "get something". He blamed me for everything. Fast forward to present. He actually got a girlfriend in July of 06 and I left him alone. 3 weeks after he tells me this, he calls me up and tells me he is done lying, sneaking, etc. etc etc. Never an apology. Just found out last week he started seeing this girl again and they had been intimate while he and I were. He has broken into my house numerous times and scared the crap out of me while I was in bed. I assume to catch me with someone, but he never has. Because I wasn't doing anything. I confronted him about this person he has been seeing and he says he isn't doing anything wrong that its my fault he slept with her, its my fault we argue. I even contacted her. She said she left him, that he didn't leave her like he said. She also stated that he has never "given up on her". How could I be so stupid? I have since changed my numbers. I am afraid he is going to come into my house again and I will find him standing over my bed. I am scared that if he does come back I will let him, I am depressed, I feel unworthy, it's hard for me to get up and go to work. Was everything my fault, maybe I deserved it all. Why won't he just let me go if he doesn't want to be with me? If he can be happy with her, then I wish that for him, because that is all I want for myself and him.
Sweetie, you've let this guy run you into the ground!
It's good you have chose to vent...
He is in the wrong, but you have choose to except this behavior from him, so in return, he expects you to keep excepting it.
Put a stop to it and move on... I know it may not be easy, but there seems like a lot of pain from your end and a lot of disregard from his.
You don't really want someone like him...do you?
Kae
Unable to get up for work? Honey, you are suffering from serious depression. Pay a visit to your doctor for something to see you over the next few weeks. And please don't let this guy back into your life, he is killing your spirit.
You are worthy and you do deserve better than this! This guys has been using and abusing you! you need to get a restraining order on him so the next time he tries to break in, call the police. This guy needs to know that you are done with him walking all over you!
I understand you may love him, and the fact that you just want him to be happy says a lot...but he is not the right guy for you! He knows what he can get away with and that you will always be there when he omes back. He enjoys this control over you. Us women tend to give excuses to men who hurt us cause we think maybe they didnt mean it, or maybe they dont know better...well they should know better! You have been faithful to him, but all he does is accuse you...well it sounds to me like his accusing you of his guilt. Hes trying to push the blame onto you...and you allow it.
Pick your head up, take some steps to get him out of your life, and find a nicer guy who will treat you right...then you will start to feel the difference of how worthy you are. You seem like a good faithful person with a big heart. You do not deserve to be walked on and constantly hurt. you deserve to have the same love you put out. You just need a little strength to get yourself there. Coming here is a great first step. there are a lot of supportive people with some great advice.
Call the police and take legal action against him. See your doctor and take back the life he has stolen from you.A talk with a counselor would be great and I highly recommend it
This is about my past relationship and I just want to know if I was emotionally abused or am I an obsessive relationship type person. It all started in 1998; I had met the "man of my dreams". So I thought. Here is the rundown:
We move in together, he accuses me of having an affair with the bill collector; which I didn't; he gets caller ID and hides it from me; he shows up when I am out with my friends after he tells me he doesn't want to go; then it progressively gets worse; he tries to keep my from my friends and family; we split in 2002 for three months, during those 3 months he tells me he loves me, misses me, blah blah blah, and I catch him in bed with some girl. I was pregnant at the time and ended up having a DNC done. He didn't come to the hospital. He even denied it was his. I was done; quit calling, everything. A few weeks go by and he begs for my forgiveness after he supposedly "kicked the other girl to the curb". We get back together and I move back in. I could never do anything right, the house was never clean enough, my job wasn't good enough, I didn't love him enough, one minute. The next I am the woman he loves most in this world. We agreed to split up again in November of 04. He came to me in December and told me he didn't have enough money for rent and would I let him stay until the first of the year. Of course I said yes, I love him and was still hoping things would work, I asked him to do things with me, spend the holidays with me and my family. He said no. But he went to his families and never asked me. He usually doesn't go to his families. Well January comes and he moves out, he wasn't saving money for rent he was waiting on the paperwork for the house he bought to go through. I never even knew about it. Yes I am bitter about it. We are still seeing each other after he moves. He is seeing all kinds of woman from 19 to 55. I am seeing nobody. But am accused of sleeping with everybody. I finally am tired of it and try to forget him. I meet somebody new. The ex kicks in my back door the first time this guy is at my house. Was he stalking me? How did he know? I asked the new guy to leave and told the ex to either let me go or be with me and me alone. He does neither. He keeps screwing with my heart and my head. One minute its this the next minute it is that. He has constantly been with someone else since he has moved out. But was still telling me he loved me and missed me. Kept telling me they where just "friends". I included him with me and the new friends I have made, he told me that if I was good then I could hang out with him and his friends at sometime. It never happened. I was only good enough to see when he wanted to "get something". He blamed me for everything. Fast forward to present. He actually got a girlfriend in July of 06 and I left him alone. 3 weeks after he tells me this, he calls me up and tells me he is done lying, sneaking, etc. etc etc. Never an apology. Just found out last week he started seeing this girl again and they had been intimate while he and I were. He has broken into my house numerous times and scared the crap out of me while I was in bed. I assume to catch me with someone, but he never has. Because I wasn't doing anything. I confronted him about this person he has been seeing and he says he isn't doing anything wrong that its my fault he slept with her, its my fault we argue. I even contacted her. She said she left him, that he didn't leave her like he said. She also stated that he has never "given up on her". How could I be so stupid? I have since changed my numbers. I am afraid he is going to come into my house again and I will find him standing over my bed. I am scared that if he does come back I will let him, I am depressed, I feel unworthy, it's hard for me to get up and go to work. Was everything my fault, maybe I deserved it all. Why won't he just let me go if he doesn't want to be with me? If he can be happy with her, then I wish that for him, because that is all I want for myself and him.
Thank you all for your input. Bluerose I have considered going to the doctor, I am just scared to. I just feel drained and tired.
Okay, here is my take on this. You are suffering from depression if you find it hard to get out of bed.
What this man has done to you is abuse, plain and simple. This is not love, this is the cruelest form of manipulation there is. You need to
contact the authorities and get a restraining order before he does something dangerous.
THIS IS NOT LOVE!!! This is a very volitile situation, he sounds like a very dangerous man. There are better out there, believe me.
Why are you scared to go to the doctor? See what this man has done to you? He has made you scared. This is not what love does. Love takes away fear in your life.
You also need to get into some counseling to help you find a healthy life. Please, get some help.
Location: Now hailing from St. Petersburg, Florida US of A, North America, planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.
Posts: 2,188
Yeah I agree that you must see a councelor like everybody else is saying but not only to help you with what this guy has been doing to you but also to figure out why you allowed it in the first place. There was something going on long before he came along.
Linear Mode
