Hi all,

i haven't posted in a while but thought id send out an update as i could do with a little pick me up.

Basically i took the advice i was given before and ignored my ex's emails she sent me as they were just probing emails saying nothing in particular. Then i got a text from her at the start of march saying that i know your ignoring me but whats the password to the old computer you got me. Now i did'nt want to appear to rude, so i just sent her the four letter word and nothing else.

I then received a text saying wow thanks J, i'd love to know what i did wrong.... you and me used to text at the beginning of the year... etc etc. Then before i replied i got another saying you seem to think its ok to ignore me etc etc.


I felt suitably angry at this, so arranged to meet up later that week, primarilly to say my piece as ive never been one to hide behind emails/texts etc.

So we met up, got on well as we always did even though it had been 2 months since we last saw each other. I then stayed at hers, and she was saying things like ' why are we not together when we are so good together' and your the first thing i think of in the morning and the last at night' and repeated i love you's.

This girl was always full of contradictions, but the above was the tip of the ice berg. Why are we not together when we are so good together?? because you dumped me! i wanted to say that but i didn't.

Anyhow, we went our separate ways in the morning, i said its best if we don't contact each other at all, but then a couple of days later i thought, surely people don't say things like she did, if she didn't have some strong feelings, and maybe wanted to get back together?

SO i asked if she wanted to come over for dinner, and she replied that she did'nt think it was a good idea as if we keep meeting i'm going to get hurt, and she still is adamant that we would never get married, or even move in together.

I am now on day 29 of NC either way, and i am doing all sorts of things to keep me busy. I am determined to beat this, but i won't deny that some days are better than others. I still miss her in many ways, but then i say if she did really love me, she wouldn't have left.

Meeting with her just gave me more confusion. I hope that in time things will get better, i'm looking forward to when that may be.

JPM

Questions2007

She sounds like a game player. The minute you are not interested, she comes running. As soon as you reciprocate, she backs off. Very immature. You certainly don't need that confusion in your life!

JBeaucaire

It sounds to me like you're back on day 1 of No Contact. The moment you text a single 4-letter word to her, look at all the grief and additional crap you bought yourself. Was it worth it?

People say all sorts of things when they're trying to get their way or trying to get you to give in on something. Remember that. So of COURSE she could she say stuff like that, of COURSE she could have feelings for you...and of COURSE you buy yourself misery if you respond to any of it.

No Contact means...ready for it....NO CONTACT. Technically, you were reading her text messages, so you were NOT exercising no contact. Every time you click READ MESSAGE, you start over...like an alcoholic just taking one little drink...the clock starts over.

So, realize, NO CONTACT means you don't ACCEPT any contact from her as well. Voice messages are deleted the MOMENT you hear her voice, or without listening if your machine can tell you the phone number first. You delete all texts and emails without reading, train your devices to delete them without even showing them to you if possible. No, it's not rude to hang up on someone you're not talking to. It's rude for you to let them in, even a little bit, and then wonder why the crap has started all over again. Rude to yourself.

Romefalls19

I have a different outlook, sort of JB....I do agree he broke NC, that's not even a question. I have gotten texts from my ex, read them and didn't respond and I was fine. But yes, the moment he agreed to meet up with her he blew that count. Hate to say it buddy but you're bad at Day 1. You got a little hope and went running right back to your old ways of basically begging(asking to hang out)...Go back to NC and start this trend again

It does get easier, but you need to stick to NC

jpm247

im on day 29 now of the second round of NC and it is going ok ish, so ive stuck to it this time. She just messed with me a bit by saying all those things. I wouldn't say them if i didn't mean it.

Just two different people in the end.

Romefalls19

So it's been 29 days since what you posted happened?

JBeaucaire

Good job, then. We're all behind you. Restistance is NOT futile. You can do it...

jpm247

yeah basically. a couple of emails came and went, but bar that it is properly all done and dusted as i said i relly need to move on one way or another, and i heard nothing back.

i m doing ok and its been 29 days since then, been keeping busy, just have the odd weak moments now and again.

nickshehe

It makes me angry but at the same time it comforts me to know that other people go through this crap aswell...
I feel for you man.
We're all behind you :/

jpm247

yes nick, i imagine i'm not the first nor the last. i dream of the day when im totally healed...

one day i hope,