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I am 25 and been with my boyfriend just over 5years now, we used to have sex loads at the start but now I’m lucky if we have sex once a month it is killing me inside, he says he just doesn’t feel like it and its not me.
I no I’m insecure about myself and him not just wanting to pull all my cloths off to have sex really hurts.
When we have sex I is so great I feel like crying I just wish we could have it more often, we only see each at the weekends, so when he comes up I’m all dolled up and just want to rip his cloths of but no, then when we get into bed together still no action, then the next morning still none and it really hurts me, I feel it is me, he has told me its not but what do I believe. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HIM WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME???????
Location: Now hailing from St. Petersburg, Florida US of A, North America, planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.
Posts: 2,150
Well maybe it's not you. Perhaps he has low testorone or some other medical issue but he's afraid to confront it. It would probably be a lot easier for him to tell you it's not you and not deal with it then face the fear of seeing a unfamiliar doctor and admitting to this problem. Perhaps you offer to go with him to a doctor, although to be honest I think that would scare him even more. You may want to ask him how he feels physically or even mentally and see if he says something has changed.
That is awfully young for a guy to only want to have sex no more than once a month. Unless he is on some kind of medication or something, he'd have to tell me more than "It's not you" If it's not you then he needs to be telling you what it is.
Don't let your self esteem go down the drain cause he's not being honest.
Sex is not everything, but it is important and if there is a problem, there needs to be answers.
Can I ask why you guys are still just dating after 5 years and only seeing each other on the weekends?
Maybe ole boy has a girl friend.
That is awfully young for a guy to only want to have sex no more than once a month. Unless he is on some kind of medication or something, he'd have to tell me more than "It's not you" If it's not you then he needs to be telling you what it is.
Don't let your self esteem go down the drain cause he's not being honest.
Sex is not everything, but it is important and if there is a problem, there needs to be answers.
Can I ask why you guys are still just dating after 5 years and only seeing each other on the weekends?
Maybe ole boy has a girl friend.
My question too, I feel like you should start getting married after 5 years of dating...is there anything you feel not good about him? Don't waste your time if he is not the right one!! 5 years have been a LONG time.
Is he experiencing a problem at the moment? It's not uncommon for men to have bouts of impotence where they literally can't perform. Sometimes the cause is physical and sometimes the cause is emotional. Either way, if that's the case he may be too embarrassed to talk about it. Seeing a doctor can help as there are medications that can treat this sort of thing. But he'll have to take that first step.
Don't you beat yourself up over this. How old is he?
He either had a problem or he has a girl friend. Ether way you need to be asking some questions and getting some answers.
And 5 years with this guy? I think you really need some answers and maybe a new guy.
Ok, I'd venture to say this is NOT a medical issue.
I do know that in my 20's I could not date a girl more than a year. It just wasn't natural to stay totally focused on her....I think both of you signed up a bit young for such a major partnership and he has grown apart (further than you right now anyway)..He doesn't know how to say it, OR your present situation works for him, and his needs are not as high as yours...
i would seriously consider an honest conversation about your relationship. Then if that goes well, the sex life.....and if that goes well - keep dating...if not, you may be in need of a break to see if this is going to last a lifetime or not. Every relationship has a moment of truth - to grow/break/build/go-on.....Now is perhaps your time to evaluate.
Assuming there is a core to work on and he is not settled into grandpa mode;
"how do you make him want sex with you?" - REMOVE THE ROUTINE. IT'S TOO EASY. TOO PREDICTABLE. YOU'RE TOO AVAILABLE.
If they are only seeing each other on the weekends and only having sex once a month what is easy and predictable about that?
Why are they only seeing each other on the weekends is what I'd like to know. You'd think he would be ready for her everytime. I think there is something else going on and they need to have a talk.
This could be the end of this relationship, and he needs to be honest with her no matter what the problem is.
I am 25 and been with my boyfriend just over 5years now, we used to have sex loads at the start but now I’m lucky if we have sex once a month it is killing me inside, he says he just doesn’t feel like it and its not me.
I no I’m insecure about myself and him not just wanting to pull all my cloths off to have sex really hurts.
When we have sex I is so great I feel like crying I just wish we could have it more often, we only see each at the weekends, so when he comes up I’m all dolled up and just want to rip his cloths of but no, then when we get into bed together still no action, then the next morning still none and it really hurts me, I feel it is me, he has told me its not but what do I believe. WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HIM WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME???????
Mabbe he has become very familiar to the way u guys make it out. Try something new out...ummm like give him a lengthy BJ os sumthin like tht ..sumthin tht wud be very erotic like giving him a BJ at public places etc., sumthin u have neva done before or in ur 5 years ...think of it...u know what to do now..and what have u already done..all the best ;-)
Homegirl 50 disagrees: If one has to resort to giving BJs in public places to get his attention, you've got problems. She does not need to stoop to this kind of thing to get his attention. I think the relationship has run it's course. He may have a girl friend.
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