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    Does she still want to be with me?

    Asked Sep 23, 2012, 01:10 PM 20 Answers
    I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 7 months. It started great! She was texting me constantly, writing on my Facebook wall, an she always showed an expressed that she loved me an wanted to spend time together an saying how glad she was that she met me.

    The last couple of months though she has shown very little interest. Usually when I text her she won't text back for ages or she won't at all, if she does text back she just writes short, blunt texts as if she can never be bothered to talk to me and that she doesn't care about anything I have to say. Whenever I want to see her I always have to go over to her town at her place or her mates place cause she doesn't come to mine and hasn't for months. She said she wanted to start coming to mine again but often shows signs as if she doesn't want to. So I'm unsure.

    She pretty much never takes my calls anymore either, and when we're together and with her friends its like I don't even exist. She won't talk to me, sit by me or express herself towards me physically.

    However a few weeks ago she wanted a puppy an she convinced me to meet her an get it for us an before I arrived she was texting me and making sure I texted back, when we got there she was standing very close to me holding my hands like she used to. I thought perhaps she would start to warm to me again but since I bought us the puppy it was back to her distancing herself from me. So I don't know if she wants to be with me anymore. But she says she does.

    Although a lot of what she used to do has changed so I'm not sure cause she hasn't been completley honest with me staight away every time we talk about some things and she changes her mind about things sometimes to. I just want to know why she has been so distant lately. If there's any chance things can be like they were several months ago, and does anyone have any advice?

    Last edited by talaniman; Sep 23, 2012 at 02:42 PM.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,092, Reputation: 10293
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    #2

    Sep 23, 2012, 02:47 PM


    If you think she is taking you for granted, then sit and have a talk with her and resolve this. When honest communications doesn't work, and you still are not happy, then I would say its time to reconsider the status of this relationship.

    How old are you both, and how far away from each other are you?
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 25, 2012, 08:50 AM
    I'm 21 an she's 19. She lives like an hour away from me an transport isn't brilliant. We had a chat yesterday. Well it was in texts cause she's more comfortable over the phone. She said she doesn't want to be with me anymore. She just said that she doesn't have that 'in love' feeling anymore. We're on a break now until she tells me if she still feels this way after a few weeks. So we're not talking until then. I definatley want to be with her but she doesn't feel the same anymore. I don't know why.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,092, Reputation: 10293
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    #4

    Sep 25, 2012, 03:28 PM


    Doesn't matter why her feelings changed given the distance, all that matters is what you do about this being dumped. I think leaving her alone, and NOT waiting for her to change her mind, or see how she feels later, is the way to go.

    Just some insights on the why. A long distance texting, calling, email relationship will never replace the real thing in person dating and doing things together.
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    LadySam's Avatar
    LadySam Posts: 1,589, Reputation: 321
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    #5

    Sep 25, 2012, 04:25 PM
    What talaniman said, plus she was nice enough for long enough to get something that SHE wanted, that alone speaks volumes to me.
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 25, 2012, 04:59 PM
    Ok I'll wait an see how she feels.I can't see myself raising a family, and spending the rest of my life with anyone else but her. I'm SO sure she's the one for me! But right now she doesn't want to be with me. We spoke about us having children. Not now obviously. But she wanted my children an I wanted to give them to her. I know I want all of that but if she still doesn't want to be with me after a few weeks then... We'll I'm not sure. I wouldn't know where to go from there. Obviously I'm not going to try an change her mind after that cause I have to respect her decision. But I'm so sure. I've never had a long term relationship before though. I'm really uncertain about most things.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,092, Reputation: 10293
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    #7

    Sep 25, 2012, 05:15 PM


    I understand being inexperienced and uncertain, but just don't do anything that compromises your dignity, or self respect after a 7 month long distance type thing.

    Talk of babies after 7 months?? Really??
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Sep 25, 2012, 05:23 PM
    Well yeah I've always wanted it an so has she. I know its quite soon but I know she's the who I want them with
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Sep 26, 2012, 12:15 PM
    Part of me thinks she's cheating on me. Her an her ex still have feelings for each other. She said if she never met me, she probably would get back with him. But not now she's been with me. She did kiss him a couple months ago but said it didn't mean anything an she felt guilty so she told me about it. But the past month or two she has partly been staying with her mum an dad an partly with her ex an since we've been on a break which started a couple days ago her ex wrote on her Facebook wall today an just put loads of smiley faces an a couple kisses.she then commented on it by writing 3 hearts. An then he wrote 3 hearts. Am I being paanoid? I want to trust her but things like that make it harder an harder. I don't know if I should say anything. Plus we're meant to be on a break 4 now but even so I need to know she's not lying to me about not wanting to be with her ex again. What should I do??
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    LadySam's Avatar
    LadySam Posts: 1,589, Reputation: 321
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    #10

    Sep 26, 2012, 04:22 PM
    Personally I think you should cut your losses and move on.
    She sounds, at the very least, confused and at the most keeping you on the sideline emotionally as a back up plan.
    Hard to say just which one.
    Take a deep breath and reread you original question, it is pretty telling in and of itself.
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