does this mean hes not committed?

snow_princess · #1 Sep 10, 2003, 04:39 PM

my boyfriend and I (both 19) have been dating for a yr and a half. He plays hockey so if gone for the season. Hes drafted and is really concentrating on hockey. Meanwhile I'm really concentrating on my career. We've talked about making plans in the next yr (like sky diving and such), however, nothing has been brought up about the far future, marriage or anything of the sort. Does this mean he doesnt see us as being together for a long period of time? I was always brought up that you dont date someone unless you feel the potential for a life long partner is there.
Also, does this mean that hes not committed??
Or should i just shut up and stop worrying cuz if we're making a very long distance relationship work, i should be happy?

olka · Sep 13, 2003, 04:25 PM

It doesn't mean that he's not committed.
He can't really do anything right now as you have to be away from each other because of your separate careers.
You have to work it out with him so that you can be together as much as possible, especially when the hockey season is over.

MrAdams · Sep 14, 2003, 06:05 PM

Well be relieved because it does not mean he is not committed to you .... You both are very young and more than likely being at such an age he is not thinking about being married ...this does not mean that he wouldnt marry you nor that he is not happy with you simply that young men dont think of things in that manner as young women do not at the age of 19 he is enjoying her sports career and you are working on yours count your blessings that the two of you still make time for each other and that you are seemingly making a long distance relationship work .. as in your upbringing I can fully understand your concern but do not fret because you are still both very young and only time will show what is to come

1finediva · Sep 25, 2003, 01:45 PM

i think that you shouldnt worry or rush your relationship!!! just because he doesnt talk about marriage yet doesnt mean he's not committed it just means he's got his priorities straight career then the rest will fall into play! like you said he'f focused on hockey ok? take it easy it will happen be for you know it

sweety · Jun 4, 2004, 06:18 PM

You should talk about your worries with your man as it will help your relationship a great deal and he would respect you more if you opened up about your insecurities to him.

Maki · Jul 5, 2004, 09:41 PM

Me and my fiancee are in a very very very long distance relationship, and I'll be the first to admit it's the hardest thing I've ever done. All I do is worry that something's going to change how she feels about me or maybe she's gonna change her mind about wanting to get married. But each time that I bring it up when we talk, she makes me realize that I really am the luckiest guy in the world. She wants to talk about everything that bothers me, just so we can make sure that we're not worrying about nothing. I'll be honest, a year ago, I didn't see myself being engaged talkin about having children and all the great things that come with it, but now that it's happening, it's the best feeling in the world. My advice to you is to give him time. It takes different people different time periods to realize how they truly feel about someone. My baby and I have been together for a year and 3 months, but we knew we wanted to be together always in a couple months. I've known people to take years to decide that. She is in a similar situation as your b/f, she's so busy all the time that we hardly get to talk, and I worry about what's going on between us. Is she mad at me, is she fallin out of love with me, what??? There's no reason whatsoever for me to worry, but I do anyways. If you love him, make sure you tell him. Tell him everything, don't ever hide it from him. If you worry that he doesn't see long term, sit down with him and let him know your feelings. If you worry about committment, same thing, talk about it. Don't pressure him or anything, just calmly and peacefully talk about each others feelings. I can assure you that 9 times out of 10 if you're worrying about something, it's usually nothing. Don't let your mind stray when your heart's on the right path. Good luck.

Jahiem28 · Jul 28, 2004, 01:07 PM

Hi this post is old but someone else is needing advice of this one. At age 19 your committed to alot of things. IF you are going to college or the air force you have alot to consider. It best to deal with the short term goals first and then worry about the long one later. There is no reason to discuss or commit to 5 or 10 years down the line. When 2 people are apart alot can happen so there are no guarantee. You have to ask yourself What is the worst that could happen ;D. To people who love each other do not have to put pressure on each other to commit to be together forever cause if it true love then destiny with over-rule GOOD LUCK TO ALL GOD BLESS

mike145k · Jun 30, 2005, 09:17 PM

ususaly a man on the move up in sports has a disiplined life style i doubt if he is wasteing his energy on other girls right now so dont worry about that,stay intouch with him as much as possible if he wants to marry you he would have said it already his life is planned thats the kind of guy he is and if your not already in the plans then forget it



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!