ive been with my bf now for nearly 1yr1/2 n i had an abortion about 6 mnths after we got together but now for quite a few months hes been talkin bout gettin married n i sed id love 2 marry him but then the next time its bought up he says he dnt want 2 get married & hes been doin it with kids aswell completly out the blue he says things like shall we have a baby soon like really soon n then again the next day hes sayin that he dnt want kids n its really confussing me i feel like hes not sure whether he wants 2 b with me or not but doesnt want 2 b single so he says these things 2 keep there but its just makin me want 2 leave ive tried talkin 2 him bout it but he just sed i dnt want 2 have kids an i dnt want 2 het married but it was only 2 days before that sed 2 me before we went 2 bed thats he wants 2 get engaged coz nothin would make him happier than 2 have me by his side as his fiance rather than his gf can any1 help coz its really doin my head in now

Jesushelper76

It would be alot easier to read your post without all the short form.

How old are you and your boyfriend?

Does not sound like anybody is ready for anything. I think that you both are rushing into things or already have in the past.

Why did you have an abortion? Now all of a sudden he is ready? I do not believe it.

I think your better off slowing down, taking a step back and think this through.

Only you can answer these questions for yourself. It is obvious to me your having major doubts about his sincerity. Listen to what your gut is telling you.

talaniman

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search....archid=2682939
You have been going back and forth with this guy for a while now, and the last post was about cheating. What happen with that, and is that why he is talking about kids and marriage?

sammi01

im 18 and hes 21 but age doesnt really matter its just a number i had the abortion because i was only 16 and i wasnt ready and he wasnt ready and neither of us had jobs and we knew we wouldnt be able to give a child everything that it would need we was finding it hard to keep ourselves let alone a baby so we didnt think it would be fair 2 bring a baby into the world 2 not have a good start

we did rush into things a bit quicker than most would but we have always been so comfortable with each other and still changed but he just doesnt seem to know what he wants and i cant decide what i want until he has cause i dont like disappointment i know i want him and that wont ever change but i havent really had time to think about the rest cause ive been to busy trying to figure out what hes thinking

sammi01

to answer tals question i got to the bottom of that cause i knew he was hiding something from me i couldnt trust him but i gave it one last go at talkin to him about it and he told me what he was hiding the girl in question had made a pass at him but he didnt want to tell me cause he knew i would go mad and go over to her flat and he didnt want me to get hurt but after that happened he stopped going over to her flat and doesnt talk to her anymore i know nothing happened when he was over there cause his brother in law or sister was always with him and whenever hes lied to me and ive asked them they always tell me the truth even though it gets him in trouble and we had gone through a rough time just before that and my self confidence was down a bit so that didnt help with my thoughts but we have got past that now and i know i can trust him

Jesushelper76

You need to stop trying to figure out what he is thinking and start thinking about your own life. You are not willing to make up your own mind until he makes up his, does this sound fair to you?

N0help4u

What does this mean???

Jesushelper76

It means that one minute he says he wants to get married, and the other he does not. One minute he is mentioning wanting to have kids, and the next minute not wanting to have kids.

talaniman

Neither of you has any business playing house. You should be looking to getting your acts together, for your own futures. Not really meaning to sound harsh or rude, really I don't, but I think your holding each other back, and you both have a lot of growing to do. I don't think you can help each other to do that! Sorry, just my opinion. You didn't sound ready in your other posts, and you don't sound ready in this one. I wish you luck though in whatever you decide.

chuff

Sammi, you have no idea how screwed up you look when I.....and everybody else reads your posts. You've had an aboration at 16, your talking about possibly getting married and possibly having more children, your with a cheater, and worst of all you don't even see what you've done to yourself and the direction you life is taking doesn't seem to be taking a turn for the better. What would happen if he died today? Can you take care of yourself? It sure doesn't sound like it. You have co dependancy issues so badly that you are willing to do anything and believe anything he tells you. Try living your life for you, that's what it's for.