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    Sandy011's Avatar
    Sandy011 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 14, 2008, 10:55 AM
    Does my boyfriend loves me?
    Hi,
    M very confused. I was in a relationship and all of a sudden my boyfriend stopped talking to me. Completely avoided me. He didn't tell me the reason why he backed off. He just told that he needs his space. I was broken. And decided to go out of town. He got the news and called me up to enquire where I was going and for how long. Why did he do that? Then I also get a news from my friend that he is missing me and still loves me. It seems he is problem and doesn't want me to go through all those problems with him. I met him once in between. He was little normal. I could make out that he has feelings for me. And we were supposed to meet the next day. But he messages and tells me that he can't make up. Again he stopped talking. When he got to know that I did something very stupid for him,he got completely pissed off. Why is he behaving so insane? :confused: How can I get him back. Its been a month I spoke to him. I feel like I have lost my When. What can I do for that? Should I give him some time? Will he come back? Does he love me?
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 14, 2008, 02:21 PM
    He's your full-on boyfriend? Your story doesn't read that way. It reads like a girl who was starting to date a guy she is really interested in. The Full-On boyfriend thing is something you accomplish over quite some time and through mutual commitment.

    You two never really reached that point, right?
    kathinr's Avatar
    kathinr Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 14, 2008, 02:55 PM
    What you describe doesn't sound like a loving relationship but a selfish one on his part. Are you really okay with being treated in this manner? Sometimes we get so involved with the idea of being in love that we forgive that which we know is wrong.. or treatment we know is wrong. Sounds to me like he doesn't want to be with you but wants to keep you on a string so you don't find anyone else. You really need to ask yourself why you are okay with how he is treating you, realize that you not only can do better but deserve better and put him behind you, no exception. It hurts to lose someone you love but it doesn't appear he really loves you because if he did, he would not treat you this way. You really would be better off moving forward with you life and finding someone else. At least for now.
    Brownin's Avatar
    Brownin Posts: 31, Reputation: -1
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    #4

    Sep 14, 2008, 03:35 PM
    I can't believe you would want to get back with this guy, it seems to me like he enjoys playing games with you if he really loved you he would be straight with you instead of playing stupid games maybe he does it because he knows you'll be there anyway and that's not a good thing. I think you should take a good look at your "relationship" and ask yourself if he really treats you how you deserve to be.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Sep 14, 2008, 04:31 PM
    What relationship?? You have no communications between you, at least not enough, so there is no relationship. Nice try but it didn't work, so its time to move on to something better.
    Sandy011's Avatar
    Sandy011 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 15, 2008, 08:59 AM
    My relationship with him was a commitment. He told me that he is committed to me and wants to marry me. At times even I feel that he was just flirting with me.But if that was the case he wouldn't have told many truths about him. We don't have proper communication only from a month. Ya,I feel very sad the way he behaves to me. At times he is very rude. But,I think there is a reason behind this. Something is stopping him from being with me. I want to be with him. He is a gem of person... I cannot find a guy like him. This is my first ever relationship and I also want it to be the last... I just want to know how can I get in touch with him? And how can I get him back? What should I do for that?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Sep 15, 2008, 10:03 AM
    What if he doesn't want to be with you?? What are you going to do??
    kathinr's Avatar
    kathinr Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Sep 15, 2008, 10:37 AM
    What you think you have is not love. Period. If you decide to stop living your life while waiting for him to "see the light" and come around, you could be setting yourself up. Since he is the first relationship you've ever had, by saying he is the only one you will ever want is limiting yourself. Of course you think he's a gem... because you've got nothing to compare it against. He is not treating you well and if you decide to wait around for what may or may not come, then you are just settling. You may not like what I'm writing here but I am telling you the truth. Getting people back doesn't work. He will only come back out of pity if you guilt him into it only to leave you again. People will not remain in a relationship where they are not happy. Move on until he is ready to grow up. You'll be better off in the long run.
    Sandy011's Avatar
    Sandy011 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Sep 15, 2008, 10:39 AM
    He always said that he wants to be with me. He's even told my friend that he will get back after sometime. And am ready to wait for him. How can I get to know that he wants to get back to me?? Should I ask him whether he wants to be with me? If he is not ready then... I don't know. :confused: Because I love him sooooo much that am not able to concentrate on anything I do. Am ready to do everything which will get him back to me... see,when I got into relationship with him,he wasn't having a job and he couldn't spend much on me. Most of the time I met him at his place. He always aimed high... And wanted to reach heights... Do you think this must be a reason for him to back off?? May be he thought that he first have to make up his life,so that he can be happy with me??
    kathinr's Avatar
    kathinr Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Sep 15, 2008, 10:48 AM
    Honestly? People don't act like that. If he wanted to be with you he would be. He knows you were there for him when he had bad times so he didn't have an issue to cast you off.. but still, he did. He is leading you on and he is lying to you, plain and simple. You say he is talking to your friends (as if he doesn't think they aren't going to tell you) yet he is not man enough to talk to you. You don't see the problem in this? If he had any respect at all for you, he would be talking directly to you and wouldn't be saying anything to your friends. The question isn't should you wait for him but why would you even want to? Give yourself more worth that you currently are. If he really loved you, you would not be asking these questions.
    Sandy011's Avatar
    Sandy011 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Sep 15, 2008, 10:57 AM
    He talks to my friends doesn't mean that he is talking to them often. Its just that when my friends tell him what am doing for him he actually tells them that he cares for me... He did talk to me when I met him recently. But didn't tell me anyreason. He was very close to me and caring and was holding hands... I can understand that I can get a better guy. But I seriously don't want to leave him. I just want to know whether he has plans of getting back. I want him because I still love him... and I want to get married to him. May be he is in some problem and so he is away from me??
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Sep 15, 2008, 03:56 PM
    You are so emotionally involved, that its just not healthy, and you really need to step back, calm down, and relax. You sound desperate, and that is not attractive.

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