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Do you think she will come back soon?

Asked Sep 27, 2011, 07:51 AM — 13 Answers
Hey All,

Im just looking for some advice on what I should do in this situation...
My girlfriend of two years recently went on a break (started by her) as she felt being with me she was starting to loose her independantness and felt like we were becoming an old couple also she needed some time and space to figure out what she wants and etc.....
It went on for a month (worst month of my life) very little contact, but when she contacted me it was stuff like "i don't want to hurt you you deserve so much better etc",

I am so heartbroken over it cause I really don't deserve better I would die for this girl! We had the best relationship ever! Never ever had arguments of fights, always trying to keep it interesting and new and were completely head over heels for each other, without sounding like a doush I was a great boyfriend and I helped her so much in her life, I wasn't controlling, grippy or anything like that...
Anyway, we met up the other day and I wrote her a big letter as I wanted to make sure every word got across, the letter explained that this was the worst and last thing I wanted to do but I believe that the break wasn't enough for her she really needed some no strings attached time e.g. Me letting her go so she really had her time... But before I gave her the letter she told me something right out of the blue.
Firstly, I asked her was the reason she hasn't broken up with me was because she was afriad to loose me her answer was 100% yes. She then said that she tried to start something with a guy just to see what it felt like to herself and if she could handle it.... She said she felt absolutly terrible after it and felt sick, she said why in the world would she think that something with someone else would be better than me. She also said (crying) that it sounded silly but she can see herself come running back to me!, but she still needed time to firgure herself out
... I was obviously confused as to why all that can happen but still we arnt together properly?!....

Anyway I gave her the letter and she cried for about half an hour, we could have got back together then and there but we decided this was the best step for our relationship (letting each other go for a bit) as it will make us stronger in the future, she said she is still IN LOVE and always will love me, but spiltting up is what needs to happen...we said we would still catch up and call whenever we feel like it. No texting as we think it just starts annoying little mind games.

Heres my question... It still feels like a break for me, I still feel like I'm in reltionship. I have trust in her that she will come back (do you think she will?) but until then I can't help but want to call her everyday just to see how she is and how her day has been, and I get the feeling that if I don't call her she will think I have moved on but at the same time I don't want to think she has moved on, its been almost a week since it happened how long do you think I wait until I call her? Is she thinking the same way as me? Is she just waiting to see what I do?

Sorry for the amount of info but I was hoping to get the complete story across...
Some advice would be greatly appreciated

Thank You All so much...

13 Answers
talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,324, Reputation: 50351
Senior Family & People Expert
 
#2

Sep 27, 2011, 01:19 PM


She already knows what you will do, you will be waiting and hoping she comes back soon. DON'T.

Have your own healing time and have your own life without her, and do your thing like she will be doing.

You agreed on NO CONTACT, stick to it. You never wait, you hope for the best, but plan on the worst. She dumped you, FOR SURE, despite all the emotions, and promises blah, blah.

Disappear.
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kcomissiong's Avatar
kcomissiong Posts: 1,091, Reputation: 1340
Ultra Member
 
#3

Sep 28, 2011, 08:11 AM
I don't think she's coming back. I think she didn't want to just outright break up with you, so she left the door open so you wouldn't take it so hard. She is gone. You should be too. Enjoy your life, make some friends, start an activity take a class, just don't wait around for her.
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vanheart's Avatar
vanheart Posts: 2,794, Reputation: 3579
Ultra Member
 
#4

Sep 28, 2011, 07:38 PM
You did everything wrong.

Didnt realize you were broken up.
Begged her with letters.
Kept in contact.
Kept hanging on to false hope

Time to wake up.

"I still feel like I'm in relationship"

Sorry, youre not. Slap yourself.

Once you understand that, you can take the next step.

Start w/NC. Doing things right. For you, not her.

Shes history.
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northend91's Avatar
northend91 Posts: 4, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
 
#5

Sep 29, 2011, 12:34 AM
I know I'm not in the relationship but she says she's coming back once she gets things sorted in her mind and says to me just give it time she sent me a text yesterday saying everything will be ok just give us some time and it will be back to normall..... Shes not a person who will give false hope at all and if she wanted to break up and go away she would straight up say it.... I asked her we should go nc and she got really cut and said no she couldn't handle not talking to me...
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vanheart's Avatar
vanheart Posts: 2,794, Reputation: 3579
Ultra Member
 
#6

Sep 29, 2011, 12:55 AM
Hear all you want. Listen to her, to me, to whoever.
You asked.

Wish I had a dollar for all the things she told you.


The fact is, you are not with her. Broken up.

Get it? Breakup?

If you wanna keep hanging on, thats up to you.

Be a puss. Wait around. Waste time.
Or not.

What was your original question?

"Do you think she will come back soon?"

No.
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kcomissiong's Avatar
kcomissiong Posts: 1,091, Reputation: 1340
Ultra Member
 
#7

Sep 29, 2011, 04:46 AM
People who are in love and want to be in their relationships don't break up and find other people. You asked what we thought and it doesn't look like she is committed to your relationship. If you are determined to wait, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it. Best of luck.
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vanheart's Avatar
vanheart Posts: 2,794, Reputation: 3579
Ultra Member
 
#8

Sep 29, 2011, 11:03 PM
"Shes not a person who will give false hope"

Thats false hope in a nutshell, right there. Total denial.

Get out of it. Show yourself how strong you can be.

Go NC, stop talking to her.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,324, Reputation: 50351
Senior Family & People Expert
 
#9

Sep 30, 2011, 09:25 AM


A person that has to sort things out about themselves is one that cannot say they will be back, or when. Bet you didn't ask when she will be sorted out either.

You don't wait for her to get it about life. You get your own.
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northend91's Avatar
northend91 Posts: 4, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
 
#10

Oct 2, 2011, 06:30 AM
Thanks all
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