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I was seeing this girl for three years when she broke up the r/ship. We've not seen each other or spoken for abt five months now. I don't even know whether we're still friends. Her birthday is a few days away and I'm comtemplating sending her a birthday message on her phone (no cards, presents and phone call) just SMS. Do you agree I should send her an SMS?
I don't think it is wise. For starters, at least do it in person or on the phone so you can guage the effect. If I were her, the birthday message would hit me as out of the blue, a possible invitiation to start something up and I wouldn't appreciate it being a hit and run that I must be politely receptive to whether I like it or not because gee, who doesn't like being wished happy birthday? Some ex's don't turn into friends. With five months of no contact, if you insist on contacting her, it needs to be far more casual than that so you can make a graceful exit, just in case the reception is bad. Don't risk pressuring her on her birthday.
do what you want. expect nothing in return. it might work out that there is a friendship somewhere down the line. i dont know about what caused the breakup... maybe, maybe not.
my daughter (20) broke up with a great guy to date a complete jerk. she later did something like youre thinking... just wished a happy bday, text or something like that. they later started talking again and are now friends.
but it completely depends on the situation. if she laid it out that she never wanted to hear from you, repect that. if it was just more things didnt work out, but she wasnt mean about it, AND you expect nothing in return, sure... the courtesy of a message might bridge a gap.
Perhaps a SMS can be a little less intrusive than a call but i think if you really feel the need just a quick call.. Afterall tyou were with her 3 years. Being able to talk to her should not be an issue. I mean as far as you know how to talk to her. She isnt a completely new person. Show your a man and call. You dont hold a grudge and are willing to be amicable now things have settled down.
If she doesnt answer then leave it at that. Dont keep calling. Thats it. You tried and no response.
I have to question your motive heres though. Are you just trying to be nice or do you want her back?
If you want her back then be aware that you may not get the answers you are looking for!
what is being a man? I'm a woman and in that case I wouldn't want an ex calling me months later wishing me a happy birthday if it wasn't for differ reason than just to saying 'happy birthday'.
If there are feelings still there, then you need to let her know whether she wants to hear it or not. what's the worse that can happen.
I believe in friendship. but if the relationship ended in somewhat unnatural way which both of you know that you and her will never meet again. PERIOD that is your answer. If you still hanging on to her all this time then you might have a problem. I'm sure she's ready to dial 911 next time you come up to her. I'm just kidding. Honestly it's not good from a woman's perspective. Whatever happens on the last day I'm sure you would have figured that out by now.
I wouldn't. You havent seen or spoken to each other for 5 months and, by your own admission, you "don't even know whether you're still friends." I'd just let it slide. You need to be moving on with your life. It sounds like you are so there's not point in setting yourself back by contacting her after all this time.
Perhaps thats the problem with relationships these days september06. people rely too much on SMS and Email and not on talking... Just an observation from reading people posts here.
Trouble starts in emails and texts alot.
I dont realy even think he should contact her. But if he must than i think he should call. Just my opinion.
And what i meant by being a man is not hiding behind some SMS, showing a spine and if he feels he must contact her then do it the way people should have contact with each other. Talking! And not some text message conversation.
I bet some young people dont even know thats what mobile phone were initially used for. Just like a normal phone!
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