Hey guys,

Its been a few days since I posted, and I have a serious question.

I am doing my best to not talk to my ex at all, since she told me that she wanted to break up. Her reasoning was that she does not feel for me as she used to, as well as the fact that she has feelings for someone else and does not feel it is fair to be dating me while she has feelings for someone else. She has also told me she still has feelings for me, and is not looking for a relationship with anyone right now.

My question is this: I have noticed that I seem to be obcessed with her. I cannot stop thinking about her, and I constantly worry that she is "hooking up" or persuing a relationship with this kid. She has sworn to me this is not true, and I believe her as she also tells me she still has feelings for me and wants to maintain a strong friendship. I know that NC is necessary for this...

Anyway, my issue is that I am scared that I dont seem to be getting better. I have spent the good part of days sick to my stomach thinking about it over and over and over again. I have tried everything I can to keep busy, going to events at school, playing cards, going to the gym everyday, watching tv and movies. Nothing seems to help, as I spend a lot of the time while I am doing these things thinking about her. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I have also noticed that tiny things will set me off. For example, she sent me a message on the internet, just saying goodnight and hope all is well. We have a good friendly relationship, and are trying to keep that without talking so much... Anyway, she sent me the message, and I missed it, and then responded later to say goodnight. Her away messaged was simply...."Goodnight ". What scares me is my reaction to this. I totally flipped out becuase my mind took a crazy train of thought: I immediately wondered if the smiley face was to him, maybe they spent the night together. What were they doing. Are they together now, did they make out. As i write this, I can feel my face get hot and my stomach feel like I am going to vomit.

Upon reading the simple message, I broke down. I was in tears with worry about it, and I did not know how to handle it. I am so afraid that even though I am giving it time, I am not going to get over it.

Is this normal, or is it possible that I need professional help. I am worried that I will not be able to handle this on my own, and I am starting to question my mental health. I know it is a traumatic expierence, but I should be better than this almost a two months after the breakup. There is a counseling center at my school which I am seriously considering going to soon. Im very scared

Somebody help me

SAB123

I'm currently going thru the same thing again. My ex broke up with me 5-6 times within 5 yrs (can't remember really how many) But cut all ties of from her because it going to eat you up inside and you'll keep think of her. I never did that when she broke my heart the other 5 times. I just told her yesterday to leave me alone for ever and meant it. I felt bad and I know thats not what she wanted to here but I'm #1 not her. And you shouldn't worry about her anymore its hard not too but shes not your problem no more. I thank God I found this site, because it getting me thru this faster then before. Tal told cut all ties off and give every thing back which I'm going to do tomorrow. Then I'll coutinue to heal myself. I still think about her and it suck. But their are some great people here on this site who care, your friens and family. I read these post over and over, it helps alot. Hang in there, time does heal!

sypher373

Guess I didnt make it all weekend

Quick question/concern on NC. I know NC is to be used to let myself heal...I guess to remove the emotional "need" I have in my ex, so that I can be healthy on my own. My question is this....To be worried that any contact with her would reduce the effect of her missing me is against the point of NC correct? I mean, to worry that she will stop missing me/miss me less because of contact is an indicator that I want her back, which is unhealthy...am I right?

My only other concern is that I seem to use the fact that summer will be here in 4 weeks, and with that she will be out of school and away from her friends (whom I still blame for all of this), to make me feel better. I know thats not right, and I know it doesnt mean anything will change then, but it helps me to relax to know that any temptations will be moved far away from her. Is it alright if I use this line of thinking, just to get me through the times I go through now, and hopefully by the time summer does come I have made some better, longterm improvements?

sypher373

Alright guys,

I think im going to make this my last post on this thread, at least for a while. Hopefully by the time I post again, enough time will have passed for me to start a new thread..with a happeier title.


to be honest, I just finished rereading the entire thread...again. Im starting to get disgusted with how stuck on this entire thing I am. I really just want to get over and stop worrying about everything so much. Im getting to where I am sick of my daily life, beucase its a constant battle with myself.

Soooooooooo, from here on out, im taking some time off. I am going to see what I can do to deal with all my issues on my own, and hopefully, maybe in a weeks time, I can post again and give you all an update on how great im doing. I know ill be fine, I just need to learn to deal with my issues on my own and stop looking for advice on every little bump in the road.

I want to send a sincere thanks to everyone for all their help throghout this thread. I really appreciate all the time and thoughts you guys have put into this for me. The post above this should be my last seeking advise, at least for some time now. If anyone as anything to say about that, I certainly will check this thread, as I know I will be rereading it in the week to come.

Thanks again to all that have helped me, and I only look forward to being strong enough to move on from this, and have a life without this constant emotional battle.