I've been with my boyfriend for 4years, at the time we meant he was living with his girlfriend, and for two years he was seeing me everyday. His girlfriend found out and broke up with him. Then he moved in with me, for 1 1/2 years. In this time he never took me to meet his parents, nor in the city where he came from, he still kept his apartment with his ex girlfriend, but he was living with me. He never took me around his friends. We always was with mine and stayed in my city. Finally last Christmas, I asked him if I was going to be able to go to his family for the holidays, he said no, because they wouldn't understand, with him having a new girlfriend meaning it was me. Also he always kept texting his ex girlfriend everyday, when I confronted him with that, he said flat out, I can write her if I want. Oh my god I just started crying and he left to work. And I still stayed with him at that time. So I broke up with him, and flew home to vistied my parents.

We still see each other, but we are not totally tg. Because Im scared to be with him again because he hurt me so bad, with all of secrets, not meeting his family, not being able to go with him to his city. He wants to be with me again, but I just don't know. Im scared to be hurt over again. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, but I don't know what to do!

Please give me some advice, Im so confused I have sleepless nights and half the time I can't think clearly anymore :,(

Sounds like you put a lot of the hurt on yourself. You loved him not his family if he choose to not have you meet them he may have legitimate reasons. Does he go see them?
Are there any times you suspect he may be WITH his old girlfriend and not just talking with her?

IF you don't suspect he is cheating on you then maybe you should just accept his ways and love him as is.

The best thing for you to do would be to move on. If he was with you while he was still with his girlfriend and then while you two were together he was talking to his ex I don't see things changing for him. You need to find a one- woman man.

And you're surprised by this, how? Why? He was cheating on someone when he met you. You didn't expect that he would actually change for you did you? There's a reason for not taking you around his friends and family. Think about it. You need to move on from this and have more respect for yourself than to start a relationship w/ a man who is already taken. And he's still talking to his ex? He's sleeping w/ her, too. She isn't going to care that the 2 of you are together and living together. You didn't care when she was w/ him so she's going to do it back to you. It's a vicious cycle. What is there to love about this guy? He's too embarrassed of you to take you around the people who are closest to him. Think about it. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but it's true.

It would be very unusual if there was a happy ending to this story. It's just another example of they cheat with you, they will cheat on you.

When you break it down to the bottom line, he cheated with you for half the time you've been together while living with someone else. Then he cheats on you with her, it sounds like. He still has his apt with her even though he stays with you now & isn't willing to introduce you to his family despite the length of time you have been living with him. To them, you don't exist at all & he's showing you that you have a place in his life but not a fully committed, important enough to show off to one & all type one.

You didn't have a "real" relationship with him still, as much as you just had an extension of the affair that started it.

Promises are cheap, & you are smart to be leery of any he's making to lure you back. Why wouldn't he, he's doing exactly what he wants barely taking you into consideration. Unless he has put some work into figuring out why cheating has been such a desirable relationship strategy for him & how to treat a partner lovingly & respectfully, you will again find yourself on the back burner soon enough if you do go back without seeing any significant changes from him. And you should do some work to figure out why you put up with his mistreatment of you for so long or why such a bad deal for you being with him like that seemed like such a good idea to you when you stayed there year after year or why you would want to get back into that mess.

Have you talked to the other girlfriend to compare notes? If she's willing to talk to you that may give you more info on what you're really dealing with, if she's truthful to you (which she may or may not be).

As hurtful as it is to have spend so much time into a dead end relationship, it's worse to waste even more of your life with someone that won't make you as important to them as they are to you. And it would help you a lot ot do some deep soul searching (with or without help) to figure out why being in an affair with this guy for so long & putting up with the stuff you did was an attractive option to you instead of making you run as fast as you could AWAY from him. That way the next time you can make much better relationship choices & have much better boundaries in place.

He cheated on his last girlfriend with you, didn't move out of his ex's apartment. What made you think you were anything more than the latest trend to him?

I can't believe you didn't see that coming. You would still be the chick on the side, if his g/f hadn't caught him cheating with you.