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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   Do I contact him?

 
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Old Dec 19, 2007, 06:06 AM
eennrr12
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Do I contact him?

My ex and I broke up about 5 years ago. We kept in regular touch for a little while afterwards - on friendly terms - but haven't really spoken in the past 3 years. In that time, I've met someone else and I am currently engaged. The other day I stumbled upon my Ex's myspace page. I didn't know that he even had one. He has a girlfriend now who he has evidently been dating for the past 2 years. I am considering sending him a message - on friendly terms only - to reconnect maybe as friends, but I'm scared that it would not be the best decision. I don't want him back romantically, we had a lot of fun as friends after our relationship ended and he was a large part of my life for a long time. Is it a terrible idea to contact him?

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Old Dec 19, 2007, 07:11 AM   #2  
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There might be more to it then you let yourself believe? I say that because of your statement that you feel it might not be for the best. If it's really not a problem ask your husband to be how he might feel about you contacting your old boyfriend. I myself don't mind keeping in contact with old friends. After all there are memories that only you that and person can share. Laughs that you had together ect... You have the answer to that question within yourself just be honest. I hope that i have been some help.
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Old Dec 19, 2007, 07:30 AM   #3  
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Relish the memories, and leave it in the past. Sure you'd like to catch up, which is understandable, but may be out of bounds, as your both in different lives right now. Because you have feelings, doesn't mean act on them. Out of respect for the new love in your life, leave the past in the past.
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Old Dec 19, 2007, 07:33 AM   #4  
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i say let it go unless there is something there like feeling you have to figure that out before you can move on with anyone new im not saying go cheat but you need to know and sort out your feelings if this is just a friends thing i would just leave it in the past and know you had good memories but you are different people now and things are a lot different you could end up causing problems for your self or him even if his gf thinks you are trying to get with him i think that you should be honest with the person you are with is sounds to me like you are going through the same senario as the movie the notebook good movie but i would really decide first why it is you wantto contact him before doing anything
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Old Dec 19, 2007, 08:05 AM   #5  
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It's probably best not to message him, to stay away from any conflict.
Your fiance, may not be okay with that, and his girlfriend may get bothered by it.
If you're not actually still attracted to him, then it shouldn't be a problem.
If you genuinely want to get back in friendly terms, because you really enjoy having him as a friend, then you should probably talk to your fiance about it first.
Let him know you'd like to keep contact with your ex, as he was a good friend. If your fiance doesn't seem happy about it, don't do it. As it may cause problematic issues, that could easily be prevented.

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talaniman agrees: A very reasonable course of action, talking to your fiance before doing anything.
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Old Dec 19, 2007, 08:47 AM   #6  
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Let sleeping dogs lie.


--Cali
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Old Dec 19, 2007, 01:46 PM   #7  
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I'd say go for it, I had a boyfriend whn i was in Oz and alwasy kept up the contact. I found him on myspae and emailed him. No response but would send bi-annally friendly texts. Lately I sent him one apologising for not making it to Oz but that I may try next yr. He got back by text a week later, a really long lovely text, i was smitten! He asked me if i was on myspace(even tho he ignored my last email!). I haven't got backto him on myspace as i have no account, but its cool. Basically im saying, find a good reason to email, or be sure that u can cope if he doesn't reply(be happy for him-people can sense ur energy!!-spooky but true! Know your intent, if u will bedisappointed then don't. It will test u!
I started by emai with "Fancy stumbling on you in these neck of the woods!" good luck!!!!
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Old Dec 19, 2007, 04:20 PM   #8  
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If your over him? Your treading on bad grounds though... Your BF may not be to keen on any contact with you and an ex. Though if its all in the past and you have both moved on? I don't see the problem with catching up with someone from the past, It can be a positive experiance. I met up with someone I worked with back in 2003 and we met up three years or so. We became the best of mates.

You have only one life, you can leave the past in the past or not, its up to you. Sometimes its nice to find out what happened to those you once loved. I would like to think I will be able to catch up with my ex one day despite all that happened. Would she have forgotten me? No, lets face it though I still remember a school trip I had when I was 6. However I will be emotionally over anything from the past before that happens.

But make sure you are emotionally over it before you do any contacting. Gd lck.
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